Hi Everyone!
Last book of the semester, congrats to everyone for almost making it to the end!
This week I read My Brilliant Friend written by Elena Ferrante. I think this book lands in my top 3, along with Arlt for sure. This book discusses themes of friendship, class, poverty, love, relationships. It is truly a bit of a classier coming of age novel, that is also very realistic.
I think the most realistic and relatable aspect of this novel was the friendship between Lina and Elena. When I was growing up, I had a best friend who had immigrated from Italy. We were inseparable as children but as we grew older she no longer wanted to pursue school, and had different priorities. She wanted to return home after she turned 18 find a husband and start a family young, she never finished high school. We had different priorities, and I will always wish her the best even and know her well, even though we are not close anymore.
I think Elena and Lila’s friendship is similar because they start to have different priorities. Lila, even through she was incredibly gifted as a child starts to see her femininity, starting to pursue romance and a more traditional life style. Whereas, Elena realized her femininity as well but continued to pursue school. She continued to pursue school, despite feeling academically and physically inferior to her best friend. However, there was never any verbal altercation or manifestation of these feelings and thoughts . Lila never expressed that she thought Elena was less smart, pretty or wrong in any way. However, Elena fabricated this idea that she was inferior, based on other reactions to Lila’s beauty and relationships. Her community automatically values husbands and tradition and so this feeling of inferiority is placed on her by society and her community. She worries about her pimples, body image and lack of a love life but then tries to justify her life and mitigate this through school. She knows that school is something that she can succeed at, unlike Lila who intentionally failed out of school. She even begins to date Antonio a man who she is not really attracted to because she feels obligated to have a boyfriend, partially because Lila has a wealthy boyfriend Stefano. This discomfort is all in Elena’s head, and eventually Lila reveals her true feelings at her wedding while getting ready.
” You are my brilliant friend, you have to be the best of all boys and girls” (Ferrante 312). She then offers to finance Elena’s schooling. This shows that Lila does value Elena’s smarts. They are one of the things that she loves about her and she wants her to succeed. In the end, this proves that all of the uncertainty exists within Elena’s mind, and that although Lila may not show it in the best way, she truly cares for her friend.
I think this can be applied to many relationships, because oftentimes we feel as though people and society is working against us. When in reality, we are unaware of the full picture. However, this feeling of inferiority that Elena feels is relatable and realistic because of societies expectations. Therefore, I think we should all work towards being girl’s girls (supporting women) because Lila doesn’t seen like one but she actually is.
Thanks,
Nadia 🙂
Discussion Question: What is are your thoughts on Lila and Elena’s friendship? Do you think they were slightly toxic for one another?
“Her community automatically values husbands and tradition and so this feeling of inferiority is placed on her by society and her community“. It is also true that not all husbands are judged in the same way. There are some who present themselves as better and some men are absolutely undesirable in that small community, like Pasquale. The plot shows us that in each social stratum there is a paradoxical sense of group belonging: on the one hand, there is a physical closeness between families and their members, while on the other the differences between them are radically marked (although for us it is not so obvious).
Hi Nadia! I really like how you discussed this book being relatable to your own personal experiences. I think it really puts into perspective how the environment we grew up in can dictate how we view some of these novels.
Hi Nadia, I really enjoyed your blog post! I would have to say that the toxic elements in their friendship is undeniable when you consider the jealousy and completion between them. It’s also important to keep in mind the enviroment they grow up in and that their actions are more understandable because of it. Like you said, Lila does truly care about her friend and I think both of them care for each other deeply.