Hi everyone,

This week I read “The Lover” written by Duras. I quite enjoyed this book and it’s almost unique take on this sort of narrative. This book explores themes of relationships, power dynamics, wealth, love, and poverty.

Within the relationship dynamic between the young girl and an older man it is unclear who is taking advantage of who. Now, I am not saying that their relationship is okay because it was very illegal and the older man should have never started or continued to pursue a relationship with someone half his age. However, they both seem to take advantage of each other for their own personal benefits. The older man uses the young girl to satisfy his intimate and sexual needs whereas the young girl takes advantage of his riches and high socioeconomic status. From her perspective, it is clear that part of the initial attraction is his riches. They seem to provide a sense of safety and security that she lacks as a person in poverty and the older man uses this to his advantage through intimacy, and fancy dinners sometimes including her family.

The dinners with her family are interesting because they showcase how much the narrators family dislikes the older man and the idea of their relationship. However, they are insanely hypocritical and take advantage of his money at these dinners while showcasing their distain for him. The narrator does not acknowledge the presence of the lover at these dinner and follows the lead of her abusive elder brother. This demonstrates that she does not actually love him but she simply desires social and financial independence that she cannot achieve in her current situation. Similar to the narrator the family views the lover as a financial asset that can be taken advantage of.

Rumours of the affair spread, and her mother defends her but then privately reprimands her for running her chances of marrying a man from the colonies (presumably a white man as she is white as well). This can be translated into the stigma surrounding several interracial relationships but that a whole separate issue. Anyways, man’s father pressures him to break contact with the young girl and not to marry her. The narrator reveals that she agrees with the father, she doesn’t want to marry him and she just wants his money. The lover was distraught because he seemed to actually love her (no matter how fucked up that is) and he marries another girl, a Chinese Heiress. Later, the narrator begins a new life in France and they meet again. The lover confesses his eternal love for her and the narrator does not respond. This is the ultimate power move. Although she may be partially at fault of their relationship  it showcases her maturity to understand that the relationship was wrong (and it also proves she was in it for the money) , but this is something that the lover has not fully grasped yet

Question: How do you think the narrator felt about the relationship as she has gotten older?

Thanks,

Nadia 🙂