For many of us, reading brings out a visual representation, so when I read a book or a story, I am able to visualize it in my head, letting me teleport to whatever I am reading. While reading Michael Proust’s Combray, I had a strong sense of melancholy. The setting felt dim and quiet and almost eerie but more on the gray side, gray meaning somewhat monotone in feeling. As he described what it felt to fall asleep, I remembered all of the times I had difficulty sleeping. For as long as I have remembered, I had issues with letting my mind rest. Proust described it perfectly. The feeling of finally being able to drift away to sleep only to be disturbed with your own thoughts letting you know that you are falling asleep. His description of his routine of trying to fall asleep really related to my own personal experience.
On another note, Proust describing his family dynamic brought forward that melancholy feeling. How during the late afternoons, he would lay in bed without sleeping isolated from his mother and grandmother. His mother and grandmother noticed his behavior and in hopes to cheer him up, they gifted him a lantern to distract him during his lonely time in his room. I couldn’t help but to tear up when reading Combray. A quote that really stood out to me was on page 37, when Proust mentions how “many things have been destroyed that I thought were bound to last forever and new ones have formed that have given birth to new sorrows and joys.” This is why I mentioned that melancholic feeling of the text. The feeling of knowing that many aspects of personal life in the past are not there anymore but always knowing new experiences coming forward.
An eminently emotional section of the reading was Proust wanting his mother to say goodnight to him and at first, his father refusing this, but after seeing his child’s expression, he was aware that he was upset. As his mother was in his room, Proust began to cry. While reading this, it was hard not to empathize with the character. Knowing that this was a memory of his childhood, it played a crucial role. It showed his relationship with his mother, how she helped him sleep when his thoughts kept him up. In short, Proust’s Combray eminanted the feeling of reminiscing a lost childhood. It was a great read but brought on the feeling of melancholy.