Stories are incredible things. They are things we hear, things we tell, but too often do we not realize that stories are unfolding around us constantly. I now have a great story to tell you, about the evil in the world.
There were was a small village in a remote part of the world, that had suffered a great disaster. There were few adults who remained, including orphan children. In the wake of this disaster there was a great sense of community in the village, everyone pulled together to make sure everyone had a roof over their heads and enough to eat.
There were three young orphans who were the best of friends in this village and did everything together. Lived together, ate together, and played together. They were inseparable. The village loved them all, and often remarked about how they were the soul of the town.
The house they stayed in was the house of the mayor, who often had many duties for them to perform.
One week they had to gather some firewood for the village, so everyone could heat their homes. To this they had no problem. “We will be the strongest lads in the village and will carry more than anyone else!” As they left the mayor’s house on their errand, they waved to Timmy and said “goodbye!”.
One week they had to fetch water for the village so that everyone could have something clean to drink. to this they had no problem. “We will be the healthiest and cleanest in the village!”. As they left the house on their errand, they waved to Timmy again and said “goodbye!”.
The next week they had no errands, as the mayor gave them the week off. To this they had no problem. “Oh the adventures we’ll have! Like the three musketeers!” As always though, as they left the house, they waved to Timmy and said “goodbye!”
At the end of that week the village gathered to celebrate that their town had been rebuilt. As the orphan boys were the soul of the town, they were called to the centre to dance. After a moment, the Mayor John said “wait, where’s Timmy?”. The town searched high and low for the last orphan boy, who was a little different and never quite fit in with the other three. All they ever found of Timmy was a note he had left describing how lonely and sad he had been in this terrible town. His family had passed in the disaster, and the next closest thing he had to family, the three other boys, never included him in anything. So he decided to leave the town with no food, or water, or anywhere to go. But he knew “he was going to a better place”.
When this note was read the three orphan boys protested and said “No! This isn’t are fault! We’re the best of friends the three of us, it’s not our fault he didn’t fit in! Take that awful story back, take it back!”
To this Mayor John replied: “It’s too late. For once a story is told, it cannot be called back. Once told it is loose in the world.”
Reflections:
I can’t say I’ve written many stories in my life, the last I can think of was entitled “Garden Snacks”, before I knew how to spell “snakes”. This was an interesting challenge then for me as I do love reading stories. I love the meaning behind every choice of word, every allusion, every piece of foreshadowing. So I wanted to at least try to write something that meant something. I volunteer frequently with kids suffering with mental health concerns, and I wanted to draw from that. As simple as an assignment as this was, I really had a hard time trying to build things up in a way that my story ended with a punch and a message. When writing I thought I did a good job of trying to trick the reader into believing the Mayor’s name was Timmy, and was trying not to reveal that this was indeed another orphan. I wanted Timmy to be as forgotten by the reader as he was by the other orphans. I thought I nailed it. As a science student, I wanted to test this theory naturally so I did two things. I had my girlfriend read the story, and I retold the story orally to my sister. To my shock the opposite was true! My girlfriend knew right away that Timmy was one of the orphans, but my sister was surprised and upset when I finished repeating the story to her out loud. One of the things Thomas King points out is that “one of the tricks to storytelling is to never tell everything at once…to keep everyone in suspense” (Thomas King, 7). From this I learned that the main difference between reading and listening to a story is who’s story it is. It may have been created by the same person, but if you’re reading it you are allowed to create your own version of events in your mind as you go along. Whereas, if you are being orated to, it is very much that person’s story, and they can control what you hear and don’t hear.
I would love to hear what you all thought of my first attempt at a written story in close to 20 years, and whether or not Timmy was apparent in your mind, or as forgotten as he was by the other three orphans….Thank you for reading!
Works Cited
King, Thomas. The Truth About Stories: A Native Narrative. Peterbough:Anansi Press. 2003. Print.
Hi Ross-
It’s a sad story you’ve written of a forgotten and unloved child and I send my love to the kids you work with who’ve inspired your story. May your story serve as a reminder to extend our hearts in big ways to those who are alone, even if they seem disinterested or strange.
I did, by the way, assume in my reading that Timmy was a kid, rather than the mayor, but I appreciate your attempt at suspense and surprise (or heartbreak in my case). How do you think you could’ve woven Timmy’s character into the story more clearly, while also leaving him unnoticed? Or how could you have made the reader believe him to be the mayor without stating it?
Thanks for your work and your words.
Georgia
Hi Georgia, thank you for your comment!
I wanted to write something that meant something, so I’m glad to hear that it had an impact on you. Even if it was a negative one. If it helps, the greatest part of working with the kids I have, is seeing their resiliency. Even if they’ve not had a great upbringing, they are still strong and still very positive.
To answer your question…I’m not really sure what I could have done. I spent some time fiddling with different ideas, but I couldn’t seem to find one I liked. But maybe that’s because I’m the writer and I couldn’t detach myself? I’m not sure. The one thing I did think of, but didn’t end up going with, was having Timmy be the one to give them their errands. That would imply he has been given some responsibility from the mayor though, which would be inclusive and counterintuitive to the point I was trying to make. Do you have any suggestions?
Hi!
Thanks for your story. It was interesting and at the same time sad because things like exclusion do make people feel really miserable and it really hits home.
I have two questions in response to your post. Are the three boys who made Tommy feel excluded evil, or is Tommy, who blamed the three orphans the evil one? Both sides definitely have their own reasons for feeling the way they do. As a person, I also obviously prefer to do things with my friends when given the option. However, I don’t consider it evil unless we purposely leave the one friend behind, knowing that they want to join. It would be nice to know the “behind the scenes” of the story, where we get an insight into the story in both perspectives.
Hi Minhye!
Thanks for your comment! I believe the intent I was going for was that we all have a capacity for evil, regardless of our intentions. I was trying to make the point that people need to be more aware as well. They could be living their life as normal, be perfectly happy, and a good person. But simple acts that might not seem big to them, are enormous to others. That if we are not aware of the impact of our actions, it can lead to evil. I think this could have been explored further if it was a longer story, but I was trying to keep it short and similar in length to the original story so that it was easier to recite. I do appreciate the feedback though!