Unit 3 was challenging with learning new writing strategies and conducting our formal report drafts. We began with learning how to write with a “you-attitude”, whereby we emphasize writing through a reader’s point of view. This was an incredibly important topic because it applies to business and formal situations where we often have to be careful with the tone and implication each word carries through writing. The “You Attitude and Reader-Centered Writing” document provided was enlightening because it helped me identify areas in my writing I subconsciously don’t realize may sound condescending. For example, if I want to make suggestions to some through email, I often say “you should…” followed by an imperative. However, I realized that utilizing the pronoun in the body may irritate the reader and the imperative sounds commanding. Instead, I learned to refocus on the purpose of the document and provide information on whatever topic the reader is focusing on rather than provide instructions. I also learned to utilize the pronoun “you” only in the introduction and conclusion to sound friendly and build goodwill. The online document comparing a weak memorandum to a revised memorandum was helpful because it emphasized how just changing the pronoun can alter the meaning of an entire sentence. For example, there is a clear difference between the tone of the phrases “If there are any questions…” and “If you have any questions”. With the tips from the online document, I was able to more effectively revise Evan’s email message and provide complaint and bad news in the form of business letters.

I also had the opportunity to work with Michelle for Evan’s email revision peer review. It was enlightening receiving feedback from another perspective which quickly pointed out some grammar errors and wordy sentences. An issue I’m still struggling with is writing in active voice and making my sentences more concise. As Michelle pointed out, “The following guidelines will be beneficial in allowing your writing to more effectively convey your message…” could be changed to “The following guidelines will help you effectively convey your message…”. From her peer review I realized the importance of proofreading and figuring out how to shorten my sentences. At the same time, peer reviewing Michelle’s memorandum was informative because of her unique style that portrays the email in a friendly and conversational tone. For instance, her sentence “With these suggestions, you are more likely to receive a response from your professor in a timely manner” was concise and reader-oriented, providing Evan with information on how to achieve a goal.

The draft report was time consuming to write but gave me the opportunity to revise and rewrite. Initially my topic was on effective ways to raise awareness of volunteer opportunities at Junior Achievement but after conducting my survey I realized that my research consisted more of answering if 1) UBC is a good area to invest time and effort for promotion strategies  and 2) What are likely the most effective promotion strategies to recruit students at UBC. Through Julianne’s initial peer review of my research proposal I also included a target audience member to address my report to. The table of contents was incredibly helpful in shaping and organizing my report into subsections that are much more reader-friendly. Incorporating visuals was also important so I included Junior Achievement’s logo and UBC’s student proportion info-graph to add depth.Unfortunately this week I did not have the opportunity to conduct a peer review  or receive a peer review of my draft. However, I perused through several draft proposals of other students and realized how important incorporating graphs and data analysis figures are to strengthening your message and providing credibility. Figures and numbers speak in a different way words can’t. Therefore, I will definitely include figures like pie charts in my final report in my data analysis sheet.

In Unit 2, we began our formal report with a research proposal, outline, and progress report. In addition, we had the opportunity to set up a LinkedIn profile and connect with our peers to review and provide constructive criticism in terms of ways to improve their online professional profile.

There was a steep learning curve involved, as I have never created a research report outside of science academia targeted towards an audience to address and provide recommendations for a real life problem. However, unit 2 was broken down into pieces that assisted in establishing a backbone for our research formal report. The formal report proposal was written in a professional tone towards an audience in a public place setting whereby we investigate and provide recommendations for a problem or deficiency. The peer review from Julianne was very helpful as it helped me find some minor grammatical errors and redefine my purpose. After rereading my proposal, I realized the only clear problem I stated was in my first sentence “[T]here has been an increase in demand for Junior Achievement business programs from schools more so than the current supply of volunteers…”, but I don’t explicitly state the purpose of my research proposal. As Julianne recommends me to redefine my purpose in the proposed solution category, I realized that I should clearly state that the purpose of my research proposal is to increase the number of volunteers at Junior Achievement through finding efficient ways to promote volunteer opportunities for students at UBC. When peers reviewing Julianne’s research proposal, I was again able to learn a lot from her concise and methodical way of writing.   Julianne’s writing is very well organized and I appreciate her conciseness. For example, in her methods section, instead of restating the scope questions she simply refers back to them as “For questions 1 and 2…”, making her sentences much shorter.

For the LinkedIn profile assignment, it was my first time creating an online profile and utilizing
LinkedIn for professional networking. The assignment exposed myself to the enormity of users on LinkedIn and made me realize the significance of having an online formal profile. Robele’s peer review was incredibly helpful because it made me realize that my online profile was lacking certain important elements such as a profile photo, technical skills, and a short concise summary. Initially my summary resembled a cover letter but after researching ten best LinkedIn practices I realized that I had to break down my summary with a short introduction and include my strengths validated with problem, action, and result (PAR) statements. In addition, after reading through professor Paterson’s profile, I recognized how unique it was because she differentiated herself with visual elements like videos, documents, and pictures. In terms of creating a peer review template, it exposed myself to the importance of organization and visuals. Initially one aspect I found difficult with peer reviews is that I don’t know if I’ve addressed every single point in a clear and concise manner. However, the template peer review allowed our critique to be more organized and objective. As Professor Paterson emphasized, page design and document are as important as text. Prior to completing my template I perused through the group forum and immediately noticed some stylized and unique peer review templates. Two templates that immediately stood out to me were the ESL Boys logo and Paul Sullivan’s colorful visual peer review template. Therefore, I utilized a personalized logo for our team Professional Banters and used different fonts. The template also provided direction for my peer review that forced me to answer questions I often forget. For example, one aspect that I noticed in Robele’s LinkedIn profile was that his summary was too short. However, in my peer review template I addressed why it was too short, what elements were missing, and how he could improve on that element. Likewise, if a certain element of Robele’s profile was amazing, I addressed why it was impressive.

Lastly, the memorandums we wrote in unit two was good practice as the feedback I received in unit 1 was that my memorandums were written incorrectly. This time around, I included initials and avoided salutations. In addition, the outline and progress report have been instrumental in clearly setting up a backbone for what needs to be completed when. As the semester gets busier I will definitely utilize my progress report and outline for keep up to date with the schedule.

Overall, unit 2 was a steep learning curve but it also created a foundational basis for starting our formal report. In addition, the peer reviews we’ve conducted and received have been great practice in terms of exposing the strengths and weaknesses of everyone’s documents. The most helpful feedback I’ve provided in my peer reviews is addressing areas of improvement. When conducting Robele’s LinkedIn peer review, I browsed through several popular profiles of career coaches and recommended expansions to his profile based on what others have. The most helpful feedback I’ve received has been recognizing areas of my writing where I’m far too wordy and unclear. Peer reviews have positively impacted my writing because it points out weaknesses, allowing me to revise, reflect, and rewrite.

Unit One’s definition assignment was unique as we were required to provide a parenthetical, sentence, and expanded definition for a topic in our area of study for a non-technical audience. Afterwards, we got the opportunity to review a colleague’s definition and constructively critique it and provide relevant feedback. This was an enlightening experience as I got to learn so much from examining someone else’s writing and also revising my definition to cater to a non-technical audience.

When I initially wrote the definition for PCR I focused on starting off my introduction by first mentioning a relevant crime scene investigation scenario people often know through popular television shows like CSI or Law and Order to grasp their attention. However, I think that after I started defining PCR (Polymerase Chain Reaction) in my expanded definition I focused too much on the steps, which is what someone with a scientific background would be interested in but not someone with a non-technical background. Julianne’s peer review was incredibly helpful in helping me recognize areas I needed to expand and focus on to keep the audience’s attention and answering the common question “so what?”. There was quite a bit of technical jargon like DNA, polymerase, nucleotides that I assumed the audience would know so I didn’t expand on. However, those terms are paramount to understanding PCR and Julianne’s comments made me realize that I should provide a quick review of those terms prior to starting my expanded definition.

As I was revising my peer review, I added an expansion section regarding PCR’s history and significance to provide a basis for comparison regarding PCR and other laboratory techniques commonly used in labs. As I was reviewing Julianne’s definition, one of the questions always at the back of my mind as a non-technical reader is “Why is this so important?” and “How does this compare with other similar entities?” so adding a history section provides a neat transition from background to significance. Rather than focusing on the technical steps of the procedure, emphasizing the importance and possible applications to familiar topics keeps the audience focused. Through Julianne’s peer review I was also able to cut down on unnecessary technical jargon that did not add value to an audience’s understanding of PCR. For example, I changed my initial wordy definition of “Taq Polymerase: A highly thermostable DNA polymerase, or enzyme, derived from bacterium Thermus aquaticus that creates a new strand of DNA by sequentially adding nucleotides” to “Taq Polymerase: A type of DNA polymerase that can withstand high temperatures”. I realized that I subconsciously add a lot of jargon and write long sentences that become quite tedious for audience members to grasp so I have to focus on writing more concisely. Finally, in my last section after reviewing it I expanded on the applications of PCR like Julianne recommended but also added another visual to explain genetic fingerprinting. Julianne’s comment made me realize how important visuals assisted with understanding unfamiliar terms in a way writing can’t.

When I was examining and reviewing Julianne’s definition, I was able to learn a lot by appreciating her individual writing style that really connected to an audience easily. I also realized how important peer review is because it allows someone to look over your writing with a fresh eye and detect areas of improvement. As Julianne is also a blogger I was able to learn from her organization style where everything is constructed in subsections that flow effortlessly into each following topic. In addition, it’s nice how she titles the subsections or expansions with questions that she seems to have foreshadowed the reader having. In the future I would definitely use those techniques to keep the audience’s attention. Overall, I learned a lot from peer reviewing and having someone constructively critique my writing from a new fresh perspective.

Julianne’s Peer Review

Revised ENGL301 Definition

January 13, 2015

525 Austin Ave

Coquitlam, BC V3K 3M6

English 301 99C: Technical Writing

The University of British Columbia

2329 West Mall

Vancouver, BC V6T 1Z4

Dear fellow ENGL 301 students:

In the interest of exploring exciting and challenging new opportunities, it is with great enthusiasm that I submit my application for a position on your professional writing team. I’m currently enrolled in my first year of the BCS (Bachelor of Computer Science) program, but I also graduated last May with a B.Sc. in Biology from UBC. Although my academic background is primarily rooted in science, my experience writing academic papers, lab reports, and working as a collaborative team member offline and online will make me an asset to your professional writing team.

I have previously worked as a returns and exchanges coworker at IKEA during the busiest season last summer, so I understand the importance of strong communication in a collaborative environment. In particular, I have dealt with several customer service case files, where I was responsible for mediating a mutual solution between the customer and IKEA through writing up cases explaining the situation clearly and succinctly so that resolutions can easily follow-up with the other parties involved. In addition, I’ve also volunteered as a business educator at Junior Achievement, where I was responsible for preparing hour-long lessons weekly to clearly communicate business basics to a classroom of elementary school students. The last class I taught was able to sell out their creation “Funcils” in less than fifteen minutes raising $320 to support education for underprivileged children in rural China. Therefore, my work and volunteer experience have strengthened my organization and communication skills.

The greatest strength I bring to your team is my attention to detail and experience writing academic papers. However, I’ve also volunteered before at ICORD, a spinal care research clinic, where I translated research papers into layman terms, so that the general public could easily comprehend the scientific findings. I’m a flexible, self-motivated, and actively engaged team player seeking a collaborative team. If my background and skillset suit your team, please contact me by email at lin.ruth@hotmail.com. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Ruth Lin

ENGL301 Application Letter