So I’ve been here for three months, and I’ve spent approximately 76.3% of that time waiting for the C20.

No, that percentage is not made up.

I calculated it to the nearest tenth by timing the intervals between the breaths I took while waiting for the C20 and delta T of my internal temperature and that of the bus seats (in Kelvin, of course).

Using these two values, you derive an equation using Quatsch’s Rule that if you then plot and find the area under the graph (or, y’know, just integrate) gives you the number of minutes spent waiting.

Divide that by 131487 minutes, multiply by 100%, and there’s your answer.

I shit you not.

TIP: Next time you want to take the C20 (or the C22) text the bus stop number to 33333 and check what time the bus arrives before leaving for the bus stop.