One of the most eye-catching subjects in the film “The Widows of Thursdays” is its evaluation of masculinity. Each one of the members of the group of men (Ronie, El Tano, Gustavo, and Martin) has some struggle– or lack thereof– with their masculinity. Martin’s is very obvious; he has just been laid off from work in the middle of an economic recession and cannot bring himself to tell his wife. His wife and his daughter both address him without much respect if any. Ronie is in a similar situation– but I’ll get back to him later. Gustavo, easily the most unsympathetic of the bunch, has rages and abuses his wife despite some part of him not wanting to do so. Arguably this frustration is what leads him to join Tano in his group suicide. Tano is interesting, as he seems to not be struggling at all with his masculinity. However, I think he is a representation of toxic masculinity and sets up expectations for the rest of his compadres. He is the one with the perfect family, the money, the soulless attitude towards business and those he takes money from. Martin in specific I think is someone who compares himself with Tano a lot. Tano is the first whom he tells about losing his job, he takes Tano’s advice and ultimately is the first one to follow Tano to death. Next to Tano, Martin feels inadequate. However, it’s clear that Tano’s way of life is not healthy and that it doesn’t lead to the paradise imagined by the rest of his orbiters. His failure to be loved by his wife ultimately leads to the life he built around himself to seem hollow. Tano’s fortress of masculinity is broken in a single stroke.
This is where Ronie comes in. Unlike Martin, Ronie doesn’t fall in line with Tano’s way of thinking. Instead, he questions it and explains how he sees things. He might be a burden to his wife, he says, but that is not all she loves him for. Ronie recognizes that this pursuit of masculinity leads to nothing, and that he is better off living an honest life. Despite his circumstances (jobless and disconnected son) he is able to escape his friends’ fate by evading toxic masculinity.
Hey Alejandro, thank you for analyzing and organizing the different examples of masculinity in the movie. I think this is a very important conversation to have in any media, and especially in the context of Latin America. There’s so much pressure placed on gender roles and the expectations of others on what one must do. Although this is a very extreme example and things have started changing, it’s clear that toxic masculinity still exists, and that it affects people much more than what we think.
What I found most interesting about the suicide scene is how the men dealt with their emotions. I felt like that night they were all trying to process whatever was going on in their lives, and their solution to their problems was to just end their lives rather than face their families. I think this also speaks to toxic masculinity, where men are raised with the idea that they must be strong, and if they cannot be that way, they don’t really have a solution for how to deal with it.
Thanks for bringing this issue to light, Alejandro. Toxic masculinity is like an invisible force that exists but not many people acknowledge. I personally have experienced toxic masculinity to a somewhat extreme degree; whether it be by my colleagues, friends, higher-ups, or even my parents. Unfortunately, most people who perpetuate toxic masculinity are not aware of it in the first place — merely passing it off as either tradition or something that has always existed. I hope this literature and other forms of media or entertainment in general can bring more of toxic masculinity into the limelight and make it easier for our later generations.
I found it interesting and enigmatic that your title is not directed brought into your blog post. I expected the post to be an examination of why Ronie is the one that seeks information about the outside world. The focus on toxic masculinity and the ways in which Ronie differs from his cohort made your title almost a sort of question in the end, and I’m left thinking about how Ronie’s concern about the broader political and economic situation in Argentina (as evidenced by him watching the news) is a reflection of his healthier relationship to his own masculinity and care for others. Loved the strategy, Alejandro.
Hi Alejandro, I like how you picked out toxic masculinity as the cause of many of their problems. I also think part of their fate coincides with their choice of Tano as their role model for what it means to be a man. I think this can equally be an issue of trying to be someone else. Tano doesn’t have a perfect life by any means, but the others view his life as the ideal because he carefully constructed his image and only shows what he wants to. In not seeing through this facade the other men fall victim to aspiring to be the same, instead of being their own person. I think Tano is the one differing with the most toxic masculinity and the others are just trying to emulate him. Ronnie is the only free-thinker in the group.