Intimate Life

A Day in a Life: A Documentation of Me and my Noodle Tendon Ankles.

This is me (see number 1 image below : ↓ ).

I’m writing a sort of… Photo journal blog post which concerns my ankle injury that I had sustained over 3 weeks ago as part of my “Intimate Life” photo series. Honestly, I hate my photo being taken and more so, having to document an injury for the whole world to see (ew…), but I realized that there is good that could come from this. People can realize that they’re not alone with their own “noodle ankles”, and can see and realize the severity of bad sprains, and hopefully get some tips about what to do post and during! Which is kind of wish I had some tips growing up with this problem.

Just to let you know, no, I wasn’t in an accident playing sports, or neither was I chased by a bear. I didn’t fall down the stairs etc. Rather, the cause of this mishap is all because of a small crack in the side walk. Yep thats right, a little crack…

Hard to believe? So I once thought as well. But that was all very long ago, much long before I even ever knew about twisting ankles, crutches, x-rays and things about tendons, ligaments tearing etc.

Though I wasn’t born with weak ankles, it has become a part of me. For over 5 years now, almost every year, I will sprain one or both of my ankles at some point in the year. Last year it was around Christmas, and it was from walking off a curb onto the street. I was on crutches for 4 weeks straight! The year before that It was some time in the summer, and before that in the summer again, and before that in the fall (my friend just HAD to see a cat running across railroad tracks and yell it out… you know who you are 😉 ! ) and before that… Well you get the point…

But what happened (skip down if you don’t want to read)?

Well I was simply walking on my way home at night. The side walk was poorly light, and I lifted my head for a split second to look where I was walking when suddenly! My right foot slipped and I could feel myself fall as I rolled onto my right ankle. *Yikes!* And it hurt! Immediately as a reaction, I fell to the ground smashing my knee on the side walk’s cold cement.  The only thing I could think was and hope was that it would not be that bad and prayed that I wouldn’t have to go on crutches (a fate worse than death! Okay not death to you, but have you seen UBC Campus? Not Crutch friendly at all!)

Some very good, super awesome, Samaritans were walking by and helped me back to a friend’s home.

The next thing  I knew I was taking a cab to rush to the emergency room at the UBC Hospital urgency room on the advice of  a friend. Luckily I was there for only a few hours (way better than 9!), where I bought cruthes, had an xray and got a referral for an MRI.

My “noodle” floppy ankles have inhibited my decisions when it comes to sports, and also has made me extremely aware of the terrain I walk on constantly looking out for cracks, potholes, etc. and anything else that could cause a fall to be honest. But aside from that I try to make sure it won’t get to me too much. Though sometimes I have to admit I do get scared of hurting myself again (and yes it does hurt very much so), I know I have to keep working on them. Eventually though, I know surgery is down the line for me waiting at the end of the MRI scans tunnel which will surely confirm this (in fact my mother surprisingly had exactly the same problem with her ankles, and required painful surgery as well).

But at least I know I will get a walking cast and if anyone out there reads this and has a bad sprain that requires being on crutches for at least 3 weeks straight GET A WALKING CAST IF YOU CAN! I urge you to highly get one. Also, PHYSIO is VERY helpful. Learn some good balancing exercises that will help strength other areas of the ankles, I cannot stress this enough. When I went to the hospital, it was highly stressed that a very bad sprain is even worse than fracture in that over 90% of the time a fracture will fully heal ( though it does take a very long time and it is very painful) yet a sprain or a torn ligament will not always heal properly with out special care, especially from the first one. This results in many, multiple sprains, weaker ankles and accidents in the future. Sadly my 13 year old self had no idea of this at the time and had never found out until I was 18.

This is myself,  about 5 hours or so after the initial fall just
coming back from the urgency room at the UBC Hospital
staying at friend’s house for help.

Later, you will see how important friends and family can be 
in this situation.

I arrived at the UBC Urgency room at the UBC Hospital. It was a earlier than 9 but later than 8 I think. I was hoping that it would not be full and luckily it wasn’t at all! In fact the entire room was empty! I was soon put in a wheel chair (thank God!), and wheeled off into another room where I was two more people ahead of me. I waited there with my super awesome friend for an X-Ray, and treatment just in case. I know going to the hospital is not the funnest thing to do in the world, and is very costly but it’s always good to just check for documentation purposes and if there could really be something else wrong, you know? I myself have not gone to the hospital every time just for that reason but I know now it is very important still.

After waiting a few hours, I was treated, had X-Rays taken, bought crutches and I was sent back home.But before then, while waiting for some treatment in the Urgency Room, I met a Grad student in Engineering who was in an electric wheel chair (very nice guy) who told me one of the most shocking and surprising things.

This guy (who I’m so very sorry to have forgotten his name…), told me that there “used to be a shuttle but there isn’t anymore”. Surprised at this I replied “Really? But how so? The campus is so vast, how can students with disabilities get around?”

“There’s no more funds for it” he said.

I felt my heart sank…. I honestly, didn’t want this to be true. I thought “absolutely no way! We pay so much for other services and useless things, that there is no system to help temporary disabled students around campus?!” I knew getting around now would be impossible. But still I had to find another way.

After this I went home by cab, and was ordered to rest up, put some ice, and take it easy for the first week which I did but at the same time try to figure out what to do about school, assignments, and getting to classes which lead me to an advisor and checking out access and diversity services just in case.

 Me, getting my foot wrapped. 🙂 

I called my wonderful Arts Advisor who told me to go see Access and Diversity, made an appointment and felt pretty hopeful.

However when I hobbled my way over early in the morning after taking a cab ($$$!!), I was only met with disappointment.

I was welcomed into the office by a very nice young lady who sadly informed me… “There is nothing that we can do” kind of easy let down speech. The wheelchair guy was right all along. There are no services provided for UBC campus students with temporary disabilities such as something simple as a golf cart that drives around people, from building to building, which would have been especially useful when your classes are in the CRIS building and Buchanan, back to back on the same days, like myself. All the buses and small shuttles run only AROUND campus and nothing seems to go through except … A cab (…cabfareandhospitalbills…) …..

I felt a twitch in my neck and some blood pressure rise… “there goes my grocery money….” a little voice inside my head told me…

 Pinning the wrapping down. Make sure it’s not
too loose nor too tight. Do not sleep with this on. 

When you feel bad, it’s always better to have people around you. Really, it does help a lot! The best thing you can do for yourself is if you have people willing to take some of their time and help you out is to accept their help. There’s no reason or point moping around by yourself right?

Advill will become your best friend. 
I suggest take the recommended amount.
You don’t want to go around being all pilled up 
now do you? (Joke).

Ice can be very uncomfortable in the winter but
I promise you, it will help your ankle from being the
side of a football by reducing it to the size of a grapefruit.  

“I need help” became my top phrase of the week. Every day little things that I could once do, I suddenly needed help. Even for taking something basic like a shower.

The problem came when I couldn’t put both of my feet over the high lip of the bath to get into the shower. So I ended up having to ask for some help. There’s nothing wrong, I know, with asking for help. There is nothing shameful, or there should not be anything shameful about it. Yet when I found myself asking for help for something so private, and basic I found myself to be honest, embarrassed. I didn’t want people to see me like that and would have rather tried and hurt myself than ask for any help. But I knew it would be not only foolish but also dangerous.

The point is, sometimes you just have to ask for help. Do not feel shame, and do not worry if you are burdening others because people, as long as you’re polite and not screaming at everyone, will want to help you because they can understand.

Think to yourself: Which is more reasonable? Smashing my head
against the bath or actually getting into the bath? 

 My favourite photo of this series.
I feel that this image can definitely sum up how I
felt about myself. Relying on others, myself,
my crutches, my will to get through things. 

Going home, or going out became like a Marathon. Well, not really but figuratively, in a sense, yes. Meaning it would take preparation. Lots of it! You don’t want to leave anything behind and make the mistake of having to go all the way back, and neither do you want to be under prepared.

The biggest problem I always have is it feels very cold at the start but once I get moving I become much too hot and sweaty even (gross, I know!). The only thing I guess I could say is, get a light backpack, and carry around a bottle of water and a sweater. Don’t carry too much or something too heavy. Be careful of the rain, it makes everything horribly slippery which I found very troubling when walking through the SUB with the crappy floor tiles which belong in a pool house!

Here’s another story (very random but it is also about relying on others.) I was out a while ago with some friends. I was heading back home with some friends from a friend’s house in The Village. It was cold, and snowing lightly. We were outside the Micky D’s contemplating buying late night nuggets (I know we’ve all been there!) when I saw a young girl with flats, jeans, wearing only a sweater ask some guys next to me to use their cell phones. She didn’t look homeless or threatening but the guys just flat out ignored her completely. “Hmm,” I thought over hearing their conversation “Maybe I should intervene”. But I hesitated since I wasn’t yet sure of the situation. After she kept asking for a while, and they giving no response a guy came around from the corner holding a pair of crutches! The poor girl all that time had been hopping around with out crutches because some guy friend had taken them and she couldn’t call him to come over to get them back. Yikes! 🙁 So the moral of the story is: yes it is good to ask for help but make sure if you do get some help it is good help… or sufficient at least. Poor girl. End of story.

I will be honest. I DO forget about being thankful for the small things. I forget about them when everything is going well enough. Even people who are close to me, supportive and caring there are times that I do forget about being thankful, and forget to really cherish them. I also take my own abilities for granted. Though I have noodle ankles, at least I can walk, and though I’m having a bad day, I still have my health and even though my friends and I might not agree on something at least I’m not alone.

But we all forget these small things. All the time. We forget, and totally miss all the small things, little actions and gestures, taking them for granted and complain constantly. I admit I do that all the time as well. But it’s these little things, weither it’s hurting yourself or something smaller that snap us back and make us realize how important these people really are in our life. Weither it’s people lending you their notes from class or people willing to help tie your shoes, don’t forget it because one day they won’t be here and all you will have is memories and thinking “Why didn’t I ever say ‘Thank you’?”

And for that, in a sense I’m thankful. Now I just gotta keep remembering to be!

You know a real friend is when they will remove your
stinky dirty sneakers before removing their own stinky
dirty sneakers. 

Finally on a last note: this is the progress, the end result. I am now walking (Finally! YES!) and it has been almost a week or so with ankle braces, insoles moulded to my feet to help keep my knees, ankles and feet aligned, and wearing special basketball sneakers that have extra-ankle support in them.

Though it may sound complicated and is definitely not fashionable at all (style not by choice guys), when it comes down to my health I gotta do whatever I have to do even if it’s not pretty. So ladies, be thankful for your style! To the girls who can wear heels EVERYDAY and have heels with every shoe they have, you’re lucky. And for those who can wear fashionable sneakers, I really like your style. But for now until they can make something in size 5, DD width, with insole support and fashionable I will get what I need to get.  I do get embarrassed, and I do feel bad. (Geez, I wish I some nice good dance shoes! Black heels, cute boots! I’m always looking at that stuff!). But I have no choice. For now at least.

No matter what people are doing, sometimes you have to just do what is right for yourself. No shame attached.

Just really want to thank all my friends for helping me out so much through this mess! To my awesome Roomie,
and to my boys! To Ai for lending me her notes and to understanding faculty and admins who have helped me out so much. Thank you!

Any questions or tips about ankle stuff or just like to share your story please do tell. 

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