“Trollrydning”

Far into the woodlands that border Millifjord, it is said, there is a glade where trees grow no more. The glade is bordered by peculiar rock formations covered in smelly moss and shrubs and mildews. Townspeople called this glade Trollrydning, as legend told that the strange boulders had once been ancient trolls—now petrified by the sun. But these were children’s tales, and brave boys like Kili did not believe in them. So it happened, that one chilly autumn evening, right before dusk, Kili went out looking for dry bark. At the borders of the woodlands, he heard a rustle amongst the leaves. He gazed into the thick green foliage and squinted, but could not see a thing; he could, however, hear a strange crunching and crackling. Curious, as all young boys are, Kili followed the sound into the far deeps of the forest, into Trollrydning; he hesitated and thought of going back, but then, as clouds moved and the last ray of moonlight hit the glade, Kili saw a gigantic dead crunched-over tree in its midst. Happy to have found some dry bark, the boy ran with his little hatchet. As he approached the tree, however, he noticed that it was an odd one, which had the same smelly shrubs and moss growing all over its curved trunk. The boy climbed the warped tree trunk, but the tree screeched and rustled and lift a big deformed head up to reveal a huge troll who had been sluggishly napping and scratching in the midst of the gale! The troll grabbed Kili with its warty shrubby hand and examined the boy with its large slimy eye. Kili was as petrified as the boulders that surrounded the gale; then the troll huffed and slowly put Kili down and thought of him no more. Relieved Kili ran home, but as he ran, he thought that the troll seemed rather sad. So, Kili walked back slowly to where the troll stood moping in the midst of the glade. The boy asked the troll why he was so sad, and the troll, slowly and lethargically looked down to the boy and told him a long story.

The troll said that he and his family were cave trolls, and as such, had always lived within the mountains that surrounded Milifjorn and never knew sunshine nor wind. One day, his seven children, curious as all young trolls are, ventured out into the woodlands, and never came back. The troll searched for them in and out, through every tunnel in every mountain, until it found a little crack, only about the size of an oak, and thought perhaps its children had gone out. It looked far and wide in this strange woodland area, until it found the glade where his petrified children stood. He told Kili they were lazy and would not be woken up and so it came back every night to scratch their noses (since everyone knew that nose-shrugs were very itchy). The troll’s story prolonged throughout the night, as trolls spoke slow and sluggish, but Kili listened patiently. And so it happened, that by the time it finished its story, the sun came out and petrified the huge troll into stone as well. Kili felt sad about the troll, but then realized it would now be with his family for many years to come. So Kili came back to Trollrydning now and them, to scratch the trolls’ noses, until he grew up and thought it children’s stories and forgot all about it.

—Katia Fernández

“The Modern Troll”

Once upon a time there lived a hideous, grumpy troll under the Burrard bridge. He would yell emerge as soon as the sun came down and bombard passersby on their bicycles and on their roller blades and chortle and yell at them any abrasive sounds that would escape his slimy troll mouth. It was rumored he sold illicit substances to teenagers in exchange for pieces of raw uncooked steak of the best quality.  Parents of these children are very curious as to why their teens are coming home stinking like dead animals, their coats covered in a gooey slime. The only reason the troll lets these kids go scot-free is because he can count on them for raw juicy steaks. Kids never tell the authorities about the troll because they don’t seem to care much about public safety. They are mainly concerned with being rebellious, defying all social constraints placed on their by society and their parents in particular. This is perhaps the main reason why the troll hasn’t been found out or killed. The troll under the Burrard bridge is very selective with who he shows himself to. He is not like the other trolls in the world. His brain is more advanced than other trolls, perhaps a genetic mutation of the troll species. He is therefore able to discern between who and who he should not expose himself to. That is why he only fraternizes with teenagers, to keep himself away from the troll hunters. As the days go by, more and more teenagers are dying because of these crappy cheap troll drugs and the word is getting out. It shouldn’t be long before the authorities find out and someone steps up to the plate and hunts the Burrard bridge troll.

—Megan