“I was Groomed to Love Street Harassment”
The Huffington Post (September 18, 2013)
I grew up being catcalled. I was groomed to believe it was a compliment I should enjoy. Though it vibrated uncomfortable, I looked for it on days I felt especially unpretty.
Part of me still looks for it. I was recently downtown wearing a shortish skirt expecting to be catcalled. I had my best glare on and was running through one-liners in my head: “Creep!”
Powerlessness is key here. Especially when our culture generally continues to see street harassment as a non-issue. Women should be able to enjoy public spaces without being harassed. We should be able to walk the street naked and not be harassed. That’s the kind of city I want to live in.
Women are told, not just by men, but by other women to lighten up. “Oh please! Someone whistles at you, roll with it; it’s a compliment. Someone thinks you’re hot!”
A dude yelling at me in the street isn’t trying to make me feel good. He’s trying to make himself feel good by putting me in my place. It’s not about an inability to take a compliment, you guys. It’s about safety and respect. It’s about stopping rape culture from continuing to subtly entwine itself through my streets.