Reading The Impatient made me very sad. In the first half of the book, I was extremely angry, but then somewhere around the middle, I, like Hindou, succumbed to immense sadness. I’m sad their society caters to men. I’m sad Ramla’s choice was ripped away from her. I’m sad Hindou couldn’t escape in peace. I’m sad Safira and Hindou’s aunt continued these violently misogynistic practices. I’m sad Ramla forgave Safira so easily. I’m sad Safira believed all those lies about Ramla so quickly. I’m sad the very ending of the book continues the cycle of Safira’s jealousy and battle with co-wives to stay alive. I’m sad that even when women try to protect fellow women, such as Hindou’s mother or the woman in Gawaza, they are powerless in the face of men. I am saddened by the entire concept of munyal, to be patient. The list of misogynistic and restrictive rules at the very beginning of the novel set the tone for the rest, and I could see how they had a role to play in every action of their lives. Women can’t be prudish, but if they’re not prudish, then they’re too vulgar. Women should be patient, but if they’re too patient, they’re not active enough. Women should be beautiful, but if they’re too beautiful, they’re trying to seduce other men. Women should be young, but if they act their age, then they’re too childish. No matter what women do, it will never be enough for their expectations. There will always be something to critique, while the men roam free.
I think what I am most sad about, is the fact that there are tens of thousands of women still living like this today. In impoverished countries, young girls must become child brides to men twice or thrice their age, to their cousins, to their uncles. Men have more than four wives and abuse them all, and these women can hardly escape because their society and culture are so immersed in misogynistic practices, no one will help them – it is the norm. We could see how Hindou escaped to Gawaza and found a kind household to take care of her, but her hopes were dashed because she was spotted by someone else, who tattled to her family. In fact, I’m inclined to believe even Ramla’s escape wasn’t successful (in the sense that she would have been free) – although Safira wasn’t keen to find her, and Alhadji easily replaced her with someone else.
One part that stuck with me is when Ramla talks about how she’s been courted since she was 13 years old, and has been turning them down. When she tells the men to wait 2 years, the men have the audacity to say she’ll be an “old girl by 15 years old” (pg. 41). For one, how is 15 years old an old girl? Especially when the men courting these young girls will often be older than 22 years old. But alas, they have no shame, because they don’t have to follow the rules, only women do. For two, it seems only women must remember the concept of munyal, yet the men can be as impatient as they want.
I could probably talk a lot more about the misogynistic problems within The Impatient, but I think I ought to talk about things I liked about the translation, since I like touching on that in other novels. I like that they included the original word in French, to indicate that it’s a strong concept – like with munyal. But, I also enjoyed seeing when they used the original word for honorific terms, like daada-saare (repeated many times during Safira’s section) and amariya. Since I frequently read Chinese and Korean translated novels, it makes me sad when they translate words like gege or hyung to older brother because the English translation doesn’t quite capture the concept of the original language – it’s a concept in and of itself! This is getting long, so I’ll end it off with the abhorrent list of rules from uncle Hayatou:
“Respect your five daily prayers.
Read the Quran so that your progeny will be blessed.
Fear your God.
Spare your minds from distraction.
Be for him a slave and he will be your captive.
Be for him the earth and he will be your sky.
Be for him a field and he will be your rain.
Be for him a bed and he will be your hut.
Do not sulk.
Do not look down on a gift, do not return it.
Do not be bad-tempered.
Do not be talkative.
Do not be scatter-brained.
Do not beg, do not demand.
Be modest.
Be grateful.
Be patient.
Be discreet.
Valorize him so that he will honor you.
Respect his family and submit to them so that they will support you.
Aid your husband.
Preserve his fortune.
Preserve his dignity.
Preserve his appetite.
May he never starve because of your laziness, your bad mood, or your bad cooking.
Spare his sight, his hearing, his sense of smell.
May his eyes never be confronted by anything dirty in your food or in your house.
May his ears never hear obscenities or insults coming from your mouth.
May his nose never smell anything that reeks in your body or in your house, may he breathe in only perfume and incense.” (pg. 4-6)