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Conclusion

Conclusion

I was pretty hesitant about this course at first, but I’ve ended up absolutely loving it! I have to admit, I only took this class to fulfill my literature requirement so I could graduate but I’m really glad I did, and I’ll definitely recommend the course to anyone who asks. It has been so great to get back into reading again. Maybe not for my poor friends who have had to listen to me talking about the book I’ve read every week, but I’m hoping to keep up the habit in my spare time over the summer.

Reflecting on my goals from the first week of class… I would say I’ve come to really enjoy a new genre of book and have certainly felt passionately about a few of these books, particularly during these last few weeks. I’d be curious to go back and read the books from the start of the course and see how I felt about them now. Although I’m not sure I could ever enjoy Proust…

I’m proud of my commitment to this course, and my organization! I was worried about the structure and having to pre plan all the books I would read as I’m usually a go with the flow type of person when it comes to school. There were a few close calls, where I remembered I had to read a book at around noon on the Sunday it was due, but luckily I’m a fast reader.

After watching the final lecture, I’d like to focus on the theme of childhood, and the transition between childhood to adulthood, as it was a theme I’m sure many of us found relatable whilst reading these books. Reflecting on how my mind has expanded (is how it feels to me) since I was a child, how everything felt so simple and more colourful back then, contemplating the different stages of our growth into adulthood and comparing my own stories to those of these characters I have come to know throughout this course. Even in these past few years, from the age of 18 to 22, I feel I have changed so much, mostly in my way of thinking, and it makes me a little sad to be honest. There are times where I wish I could be young and think simply and naively again, but I find a sense of comfort in these books, that we all grow up, it’s a part of life and there is beauty in that.

 

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My Brilliant Friend

My Brilliant Friend

This was the last book I’ve had to read for class, and I can honestly say this barely feels like homework anymore. I might even read the other books in this series. This blog was written on the beach, next to my bestest friends, with none of whom I have a relationship like Lenu and Lila’s, thank goodness. I’m feeling the most beautiful and romantic vibes right now, and have included pictures of this lovely evening I’m having 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

A word that came into my mind while reading this book was polycule, cause omg they’re all dating each other. Great book though, I enjoyed reading it very much!

Throughout this book, Lenu’s definition of success seemed to change constantly, as she bases the concept on whatever Lila is interested in at the time, “I soon had to admit that what I did by myself couldn’t excite me, only what Lila touched became important” pg 100 , or at least what she perceives to be catching Lila’s attention, although she is most often wrong. The competition between the two girls begins through academics, where Lenu is merely hoping to hold on to her second place position compared to Lila who effortlessly remains number one, but the tables turn when Lila is not allowed to attend middle school, and Lenu soon stops trying as hard as she used to, “Above all, I came home with the impression that, not spending my days in a shoemaker’s shop, having for a father a banal porter instead, I was excluded from a rare privilege. I began to feel that my presence in class was pointless.” pg 99.  She instead finds herself obsessing over shoes, reflecting Lila’s new passion. However, when it comes to light that Lila has been teaching herself Latin, and begins to tutor Lenu, her passion for school reemerges, “School began again and right away I did well in all the subjects. I couldn’t wait for Lila to ask me to help her in Latin or anything else, and so, I think, I studied not so much for school as for her.” pg 112. This time, there is some self-awareness of the fact her interest stems from a need to impress or serve a use to her friend. This cycle continues as the girls grow up and boys begin to express interest in them. “And yet I had now a single true thought: to find a boyfriend, immediately, before Lila announced to me that she was going with Pasquale.” pg 157.  Throughout this book, for Lenu, the constant themes of comparison, envy and a sense of inferiority to her best friend emerge, however I’d like the opportunity to consider Lila’s point of view, as I’m sure there are parts of Lenu’s life that she finds herself envious over, such as the opportunity to educate herself, and a more supportive family.

My question this week is, would Lenu have gone so far in school without the friendship, or competition of Lila?

 

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The book of chameleons

The book of chameleons

Maybe I’m learning to enjoy reading these types of book more, but I feel I’m enjoying each new book more than the last. I wasn’t considering this to be a particularly emotional book so I was kinda shocked when I burst into tears reading that Eulalio had passed. I think in many of the books we have read so far, characters have had likeable, unlikeable, loveable, and hateable traits which causes our feelings on them to be more complex, however this gecko simply observed, listened, and laughed, making him innocent of our judgement. Our other three characters were granted the privilege of an ending to their story, a sense of closure but Eulalio will now only remain a memory, and as this book shows us, memories are fragile, “with every passing day, every passing hour, my memory of him becomes more and more like a figure made of sand. The memory of a dream. Maybe I dreamed it all”. This quote encapsulates the feeling of a memory slowly slipping away, and that feeling of grasping at nothing, wondering if you made it up all along, as there is no one and nothing to corroborate your story. The least a memory can do is fade, but more likely, is for it to twist and fabricate, as shown in the book of chameleons.

Reality also seems overtly fragile in this story, it appears people can reinvent their lives with little difficulty, just Felix’s help and a hefty dose of delusion. I wonder if it would be so easy to craft a wholly new life story today, what do you think? Initially I thought absolutely not, with all our social media. However, in hindsight, this might be more of a helping factor in creating a false identity. In the lecture video for this book, it is immediately mentioned, that despite its title, this is not a book of chameleons, but I would disagree. It seems many of our main characters are chameleonesque, in that they disguise themselves, and transform their identities as though it comes naturally to them.

I used to camp a lot as a kid, and I would find dead scorpions in the bags after, and they’re actually so scary looking. I also kept quite a few geckos as pets so maybe that’s why the ending of this book made me so sad. I would have kept Eulalio much safer if I were Felix; my geckos never got murdered by scorpions
 This is a picture of my gecko and a random scorpion. Doesn’t your skin crawl looking at that scorpion?

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Money to Burn Piglia Uncategorized

Money to Burn

I think this might be the book I’ve been most locked into throughout this course, I was hood up, headphones on, in the dark for two hours straight. I found myself rooting for the criminals, in particular Brignone and Dorda, which is maybe a bit screwed up of me, especially as their kill count grew and grew and grew
 I think I’m just a sucker for a homoerotic friendship. They were both so messed up in the head but they really loved each other and it was kinda beautiful. These characters seemed pretty insane and it was fun to read their bonkers inner monologues, especially towards the end. 

As I was reading this book, I kept telling myself I was only rooting (a little bit) for these characters to succeed because this is all fake and a story. Then I found out it was based on a true story. Oops. Only learning in the last few pages that this story was true really changed my perspective on this book. It had me feeling a little sick that I ever hoped for these criminals to get away. It’s just hard to hate characters when a story is told from their point of view. I knew they were evil and committing some awful crimes and thinking some disgusting thoughts but you get wrapped up in their story and hope for success, if just to make all the sacrifice worth it. I suppose that’s partly why people were so devastated when they burnt the money. At least that’s the reason they claim, that if the criminals had given the money away, “they would have given some sort of point to their existence, the cretins” pg 158. Personally, I think it’s a little ridiculous that when they burnt the money is when people truly turned against them, as if the cold blooded murders weren’t so bad but burning the stolen cash was a truly inexcusable crime? As the papers claim, “Such an act (the dailies said) was worse than all the crimes that they had committed, because it was an act of nihilism and an example of pure terrorism.” pg 159. Do you guys agree with this?

For about the first 130 pages, I could not figure out who was who. All the nicknames had me so confused. I know I could have gone back and tried to figure it out but I figured the confusion added to the experience of this book. I feel like the author intended to make readers feel this way to add to the chaos of the robbery. But once our cast dwindled down to the Merceles, Brignone, and Dorda, I had them locked. Of course Malito got away, he probably planned this all from the beginning, that sneaky snake. 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Lispector

The Hour of the Star

First thought on this book was omg it’s only 100 pages. Two pages in… these are going to be the longest 100 pages of writing I’ve ever read. But I made my roommate read a page and she said she liked it so maybe I’m uncultured. It’s making my head hurt.

Wow, I just finished this book and I’m almost grudging to admit I judged it far too fast based on the first few pages. The narration feels quite relatable to me in a way, I find myself drifting in and out of the story just as Rodrigo does. For the few sentences or paragraphs he is present, I find myself wondering who is he?? A ghost, a stalker, a part of Macabea’s consciousness? I really had no clue. But as soon as we delved back into the story of Macabea, I would forget him entirely. Her life was so tragic and pitiful, it was enrapturing. A morbid fascination is what I feel inspires Rodrigo to focus on this young lady and the reason we readers find ourselves locked into his descriptions of a lifeless, thoughtless, loveless existence. Macabea’s life seems to embody the suffix “less”. She seems to have no thoughts of her own, only able to quote moments from clock radio, she is given little physical description; personally I imagined her a grey spectre, rail thin and awfully tired looking. To me she already seems to be a ghost while she lives, and so I hope if there is an afterlife in Lispector’s creation, Macabea finds a fuller existence.

The gasp I gasped when Macabea was hit by the car, oh my days. I suppose I was as foolish as she to believe such a fantastic future awaited her. However, perhaps living for a few moments with such hope, followed by a sudden, quick death was the best possible fate for her. Do you think the fortune teller got her future mixed up with the girl before her? That was my first thought. Then I realized the fortune teller might have been totally full of crap and making stuff up. Or perhaps she just wanted to give Macabea a few moments of joy in her life, before the inevitable. That’s another question for you guys, do you believe in fortune tellers? My mum has a fortune teller and she believes everything she says but I’m skeptical and curious what others think…

Categories
Rodoreda

Time of the Doves

I’m feeling a frenzy of emotions right now, I don’t know what to write about. Maybe because I’m in forestry where they don’t believe in heating??? My hands are frozen but I’m kinda sweating too? And I’m hungry. Really craving baby octopuses right now but I’ll settle for some Tims hash browns.

First thoughts were please, please don’t marry this guy, he is clearly bad news. Would he be considered abusive? Or just toxic and manipulative? I hate him. Maybe that’s harsh, he did do some providing but he just freakin sucked with his imaginary leg pain and refusal to do hard work and leaving it all to her. His selfishness was appalling. Do you think she would she have had a better life with Pere? A lot of later sadness and hardship came from the death of Quimet and being left with no way to provide due to the war but much began with his mistreatment when he was present. I was rooting for her and Mateu from the start. Maybe I was reading too much into that, but you know Natalia is into someone when she starts raving about their eyes, as we see it’s one of the first things she notices and remembers about Quimet, “He had little eyes like a monkey” on page 16. She later cannot sleep as she fixates on Mateu’s eyes after his visit, “I thought about Mateu’s eyes which were the same color as the sea.” on page 109. 

Rodoreda made me feel like I was going crazy right alongside Natalia. The section “I heard was doves cooing. I was killing myself cleaning up after the doves. My whole body stank of doves. Doves on the roof, doves in the apartment. I’d see them in my dreams.” on page 100, captured me and gripped me tight. I felt like I was spiralling in circles, surrounded by a flurry of doves, suffocating in reeking feathers. As Natalia’s hate of the doves grows, and she is made to clean up after them and feed them, even after long days at work, while her husband and children simply enjoy the pleasure of them as pets and as a ‘business’, further emphasizes the selfish nature of Quimet and his character sinks even lower in my esteem. Surely if the doves were his stupid business plan, he should be looking after them??

I have so much sympathy for this woman. I cried with happiness when Antoni Sr gave her a lifeline because the hydrochloric acid bit was terrifying me. To answer a question from the lecture video, on whether I judged Natalia for these plans; I did not judge her at all. She was in a heartbreakingly difficult situation, watching her children and herself slowly starve to death, she simply wanted it over faster for them, so their suffering could end.

I really enjoyed this book.

Note: I’m not sure if some pages were missing from this book, a few were mysteriously blank.

 

 

Categories
black shack alley

Black Shack Alley

This book left me feeling quite despairing. I knew we were going to lose M’man Tine as soon as things started looking up for JosĂ© but it still devastated me. She fought so hard for that boy, and he in turn was kept going with the hope of making her life better when he finished school. I think I’m going to focus on M’man Tine for this blog because she deserves some appreciation.

Her story is depicted through the lens of a young boy, at the time, unaware of her sacrifices, as she labours all day, barely making enough to scrape them by, while he frolics with his friends, causing mayhem around the Alley.  JosĂ© as a child was pretty infuriating, just as a reader, nonetheless to poor M’man Tine who fed, housed, and clothed the boy her daughter left her to deal with, while he broke her bowl, and tore his clothes to shreds. Admittedly, I was a little wary of her to begin with, she seemed extremely strict, however unfortunately that was a necessity of raising a child in that environment, it seemed. We also recognize fairly early on that M’man Tine intends better for JosĂ© than the other children of Black Shack Alley. The perspective of his carefree attitude during his time at Black Shack Alley, compared with how hard we know M’man Tine was working shows how oblivious children can be to the world, but also perhaps how well JosĂ©’s grandmother sheltered him from certain hardships, as she wanted to create a better life for him. Do you think JosĂ© would have had a similar path if he had been with his mother his whole life?

As JosĂ© grew up, and began to understand his position in the social, and financial hierarchy. To me, much of this realization came when his grandmother fell ill, and he fell out of the bubble she kept him in. No longer under the care of M’man Tine, JosĂ© is hungry and dirty, struggling to concentrate in school. Even when she returns to him, we seem to see a new side of the poverty affecting his life, Previously they got by well enough, but now money for education, suits, and shoes is needed. The death of Mr MĂ©douze also seemed a catalyst for change, perhaps an event which spurred M’man Tine to provide a different future for her grandson.

I didn’t want this book to end, I so wanted to read a happy ending for these characters who have all worked so hard and sacrificed so much for each other, in hopes of a better future for their family. But I know it doesn’t work like that, and the feelings of hopelessness and unjustness this book leaves me with are proof of a book well written.

 

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Uncategorized

I wanna see a picture of Maria Griselda

Wow, this book had a lot of men treating women like crap. And women treating other women like crap. In what world is making out with your best friend’s husband not a betrayal?? Sofia’s explanation seemed a little ridiculous to me personally. She was scrambling to justify her actions and saying what she did was not actually a betrayal, but knowing how Antonio’s dalliances with other women had hurt Ana Maria, I don’t see how she could think her behaviour was okay. It seems to me she had a little obsession with Ana Maria and her ability to feel and love so strongly and this was her way of embodying her friend, whilst also finding excitement in the affair.

Also, shoutout to the person on here who drew a family tree, I wish I’d had that while I was reading because I totally thought Ana Maria was marrying her son at one point. Aside from a little confusion on who was who, I loved all the intermingling storylines and connections we explored through Ana Maria’s memories and experiencing her reflections and hindsight all these years later was a part of the book I really enjoyed, especially the nostalgic element, as she is aware her time has passed.

The character of Maria Griselda depicted the patriarchy’s ideal woman pretty perfectly. She is described as quiet, obedient, and incredibly beautiful. So much so that she drives other women out of their minds with jealousy, as we see in the case of Silvia. Her story seems to me, one of the saddest sections of the book. Her beauty leaves her so desired, yet even more isolated because of this. Her husband’s obsession with her means she has no friends, barely even allowed to be seen by other people, while he himself will not even be close with her, viewing her as something he cannot truly possess. This causes him great grief, as in that time, and heavily depicted through this book, we see a woman was something to be possessed, and when men did not feel they could control their wives was when marriages became especially problematic.

If you had to choose to be a character in this book, which would you want to be? I would want to be a man for sure. They mostly suck but their lives seem easier. Maybe I would be Ricardo, and go live on a farm in Europe.

 

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Uncategorized

Mad Toy

It felt like I flew through this book in comparison to Proust’s Combray. I especially enjoyed the beginning when Silvio was a thief so I was a little disappointed when he had to get a job. I guess not as disappointed as him though…

Looking at this world through the eyes of Silvio is quite devastating as we feel his intelligence and desperation for more but we can do as little as he himself can to improve his station. As his pride is crushed and he agonizes over what others must be thinking of him working this “humiliating job” I sympathize, however stop and wonder if this job is really so awful and whether people are looking at him at all. Silvio is the centre of this book but in reality was nothing more than another working boy, whom people’s eyes likely skimmed over, without a second glance. When I managed to extricate myself from Silvio’s perspective I realized he is perhaps not the misunderstood, brilliantly intellectual character he believes himself to be, and is possibly a little delusional. He does not seem a person made for the real, hardworking world, but belongs in the fantasy world of his heroes, Rocambole and Bonnot.

The unjustness of life was shown to me in the moment Silvio lost his job in the army, immediately after such a positive conversation with Captain, after being praised for his intellect, he is discarded for this very same reason. To witness his hope and gratitude only for him to be brutally turned away because he was deemed “too smart” for the job made me feel sad and so frustrated. He is told he belongs in a technical institute and that he needs to study but he has no way of getting that education, meaning his potential, and I suppose that of many others in similar situations, will just waste away. This scene gave me a sense of hopelessness, a feeling reflected in Silvio as he reaches the conclusion he cannot live like this any longer.

Very nearly ending the novel in thievery, just as it began, only for Silvio to make the hard decision of betraying his accomplice was a great full circle moment. Silvio had to choose between two wrongs, he was never given an option to be “good”, but his choice was the societally correct one, and hence allowed him to finally find some success in his life. Do you think he made the right decision? What would you have done in his shoes? I think I would have chosen to lay low, not joining in on the robbery but not betraying Rengo either, so I respect Silvio having the guts to make this hard decision and change his life.

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Uncategorized

Proust…zzzzz

I’m currently on the 7th page of Proust’s Combray and it’s making me feel quite sleepy. All this talk of sleep is making me wish I was in my bed instead of at school. Now I’m on page 11, and considering having a little nap. I feel I should be grateful for the ability to sleep after reading how this fellow struggles. Surely I should make the most of the opportunities I have.

The mother kissing business… At first I thought it was sweet, this kid really loves his mother. Then it became a little excessive/obsessive. But I can understand this kid does not get much affection so he craves this small act and it holds a lot of meaning for him.

The way the first passages were written created a sense of connection with the character for me. I could really imagine I was him in those moments, yearning for affection; his desperation was palpable and infectious. In the first few pages, I felt small like him in those moments and the experience of gradual growth as we progressed through his memories of childhood relieved me.

Now on page 110, I’m getting into the book. There are moments where I feel very engaged, and I enjoy these but also moments where I feel I’m drifting in and out. Some passages that drew me in more than others were the following: Francoise not liking or sympathizing with people, unless they are far away, I kinda get that. Some things are easier to appreciate or pity from a distance as when a connection is made it can feel too real and reality is not always where we want to be. Incomplete pictures and viewings from far away always seemed better, until we are close enough to recognize flaws. We prefer to imagine, experience fantasies of our feelings. The goodbye to the hawthorns section was beautiful and one of my favourites, as I feel a similar, if slightly less descriptive connection to my Nain’s (that’s grandma in Welsh, I don’t speak Welsh but I still call her that) hydrangeas. Our family home on Anglesey is similar to what I imagine Combray to look like and I feel a similar fondness for the place. I like to imagine them walking as that is also pretty much all I used to do when I was back home as a child and while in the moment I was not thinking such elaborate thoughts, looking back those times seem to hold much greater meaning to me. I think in the midst of all these descriptions of a world I am not familiar with, when I could relate to the content, it drew me in a little more. The scene of Francoise killing a chicken and the shock of little Marcel made me not laugh but feel a little sense of humour because I saw someone kill a chicken once and then I ate it pretty happily. Maybe I was hungrier than him. He seems like he would be a fussy eater.

Beginning to understand the character, as he gets older and makes sense of his thoughts more, the less abstract the text feels.  I was really wishing I could read this on paper but unfortunately I can’t be dropping 25 or so dollars on a book every week 🙁

This text doesn’t feel like a story in the sense that to be honest I didn’t feel like anything actually happened but after reading I feel an appreciation of the mental journey of Marcel, roaming his own thoughts and memories. Looking back on memories, fondly, with fragrances, sensations jumping out, only fragments yet creating the sense of a whole.

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