It’s 10:15. How much longer are we going to be here? We said we’d be back home by 10:30, but it doesn’t look like that’s the case, because there is no sign of anyone wanting to go home. How do I get out of this?
My heart starts to pound and my forehead starts to sweat. I tap my toes and pace around the room, not wanting to say anything to my friends because it’ll look like I’m not having a good time with them. I was having a good time, but now I’m not. Now we’re not following the set time and, therefore, slowly creeping into there not being a set time. The time I will be going home is now unspecified and uncertain.
I don’t always do well with uncertainty.
Planning things has always been my life. I would be nine, looking through my future high school’s website, wondering if sixteen-year-old me would benefit more from Drama or Cooking. I would be thirteen, avidly looking at which university programs I could take, but also anxiously looking at the clock when out with my friends. I’m better at this now – my heart doesn’t pound as fast, and my forehead sweat has lessened. Nevertheless, I still sometimes look at the clock. Planning not only gives me a rush of excitement about the future, but also gives me control over the situations I’ll be placing myself in.
I planned to go to Peru, that is true. I also get that same rush, thinking about it, as I get when I figure out anything having to do with the future. Not only am I legitimately excited, but I’m also legitimately ready to not be in control over everything I’ll be doing.
Perhaps my number one plan for Peru is to embrace spontaneity!
After all, there are many things about my life which I have not chosen for myself, but have still worked out.
I have not chosen my position as a child of Argentine immigrants, or to be raised in the Vancouver area, or… well, a lot of things.
There are many things I have chosen for myself. I grew up playing soccer/football and I love it. I had an obsession with the history of television sitcoms as a kid. Do with that what you will. Writing has also always been one of my favourite hobbies (evident in my choice to major in English, along with Latin-American Studies).
One thing for sure, is that I do plan on having an amazing time in Peru! Ultimately, I’m super excited to get to know everybody even more and make some awesome memories.
5 replies on “Peru . . . Here I Come!”
Hi, this is a comment.
To get started with moderating, editing, and deleting comments, please visit the Comments screen in the dashboard.
Commenter avatars come from Gravatar.
It’s great to have you on board! And we’ll do our best to manage your uncertainty… there has certainly been a lot of planning. But we’ll happily help you to embrace spontaneity! 🙂
Hi Yasmin,
I enjoyed reading your thoughts about planning and spontaneity. As you say, there are plenty of good things which are not chosen. Following the path of least resistance in challenging situations is- in my opinion- an underrated way to be. I will say that I’m jealous of your enthusiasm for planning. There are a lot of disasters which can be avoided with just a little bit of foresight. Planning isn’t mutually exclusive with picking your best moment to retreat. Best of luck and see you soon!
Hi Yasmin,
Thank you for honestly sharing your anxieties about this trip! I relate in that I am very much a planner when it comes to trips (not so much for my future), and it’s hard to get out of that habit. Sometimes though, I just crave the opportunity to let go of the reins and be a follower. I find it difficult to truly experience things in the moment and learn when I’m constantly thinking about what comes next. I hope we both find some comfort in spontaneity over these next two weeks!
Cissy
Dear Yasmin,
It’s been so great reading your post, especially looking back at it now after our course… I still remember us fondly bonding over our love for airports! And for your number one plan, I think you did an absolutely fantastic job embracing spontaneity! Whoop whoop! We’re thriving! 😀
All my best,
Niki