I want to start off by apologizing for this blog post. I’m sick and I’m probably slightly delirious, so this might not be my best work (we’ll save more information on that for my experience blog!) Anyway, I’ll try my best.
In her chapter “Eusebio,” Asunta tells the audience of when she first got her period. When explaining how her mother reacted, she says that “ She didn’t even pay attention to what I said. All she told me was, “It’s your monthly bleeding” (116). I found this quote fascinating. Asunta’s mother brushes off something that is concerning to Asunta, not even explaining why it is something normal she shouldn’t be worried about. I feel like this quote is more largely representative of how Asunta is taught to view all of the negative things that happen to her in her life. They are that way just because they are that way — there’s no explanation as to why suffering occurs, and so moving on from thinking about specific instances of pain and suffering is the only thing one can really do. After all, in the beginning of “I Stopped Wearing that Cross,” Asunta says that:
With all the sin that exists in the world, to live this life is to suffer. Yet, everybody, from the tiniest moth to the mountain lord’s fearsome puma, from the largest tree to the smallest blade of grass spreading without a thought, all of us here since those distant times of our ancient ancestors, we’re all just passing through this life. (121)
I wonder what “pass through” means in this situation. To me, it definitely can mean a necessity to not “dwell” on situations, as I said yesterday in class, and instead to persevere and pass on to the next thing. Of course, as we also discussed in class, to persevere does not necessarily mean to forget or even to move on. One can choose to be strong after a tough time, knowing they must continue on with their life, while still holding a space in their mind for what has happened to them. The very fact that Asunta and Gregorio can retell their past sufferings means that they remember them. If one remembers something, does that mean that it hasn’t been completely “passed through” or let go?
The above was a bit of a ramble, but hopefully it made some sense. My mind is not currently clear enough to determine whether that’s the case.
4 replies on “Asunta and Holding on: What we Remember”
I think in some ways in your own blog post you found some answers. Sometimes we think that remembering is an entirely mental matter, that our limits to processing memories are only in the brain. However, memory (and thought) are entirely corporeal, in all their expression. Even if a small detail escapes our memory, the body is there to bring the past: there are signs that we call scars, for example. We carry the time we have lived. As one of your compatriots, Borges, wrote: “One thing does not exist: oblivion.”
Hi Yasmin,
Thank you for your insights on remembering and what it means to move on! Your words totally make sense; this is an incredible blog post! I was also somewhat surprised and horrified by how… dismissive? (I don’t think dismissive is the right word but it’s what I’ll use for now) Asunta was of all the troubles she went through, and I think you’re right in pointing out that this is likely how she was taught to go through life. The people older than her and around her understand how difficult life in the Andes is as an Indigenous person and gave her the only tools they had to survive this life. I personally think you can vividly remember something even if you have let go or moved on. I think it’s sort of like the saying, “Forgive but don’t forget”. I think you can’t really choose what you remember and what you don’t, but you can choose how you respond to that memory. Does that make sense??
Take care,
Cissy
the dismissing of feminine pain is really such a symbolic yet simultaneously real phenomenon. i was devastated when i first got my period and my mother was very nonchalant about it. is there a universal mourning of passing ‘girlhood’ and entering a life ridden of pain? or is it universal to only those who live in patriarchy
“If one remembers something, does that mean that it hasn’t been completely “passed through” or let go?”
I don’t think passing through means forgetting. It clearly didn’t for Asunta. I think it is a meditation on the transience of life. Perhaps reminders of that transience are important for people who have suffered as much as Asunta. While I think it is true, it is a way to cope with suffering. Perhaps the same as her mother’s matter-of-fact recognition of her suffering.