For this task I used the Apple Notes dictation feature.
“Hi everyone, I’m gonna talk about the reason that I became an elementary school teacher so I moved from China to Canada when I was six years old. My parents grew up in separate but very similar rule farming villages in northern China in the 1960s both these areas were very impoverished and, at that time, the only kind of pathway out of these villages out of this really farming life was to was through the education system so both my parents were able to study really really hard and get into good high schools, which led them to study really really hard and then it’s it’s called in. It’s called call which means it’s basically in reference to these exams that you have to take in order to apply for university and it’s really really rigorous process and it’s because back and in my parents time especially if you were able to, obtain a good mark from this call call then you were able to go to university for free so both my parents did that they went to universities in the city totally for free and if they had done that they would’ve had to just stay in their villages there weren’t loans that were really available to them around that time And their parents my grandparents would not at all have been able to pay for them to continue their education so my parents moved me to Canada when I was six years old like I said, and I upon arriving in Canada, both my parents had to go back to school and work quite menial jobs because they credentials both my parents engineering degrees did not apply over here so I when I arrived in Canada, I lived at this in the basement suite of this little pink house that was right across the street from the elementary school from the kindergarten that I went to and I really did experience so much of my life through school so much of my life was connected to school because my parents were so busy with both working and going back and getting education in Canada that they didn’t have a ton of time to take me lots of places and so so much of how I experience Laura mainland was through school through field trips and different outings that we did and so much of my social circle and my family social circle really developed as a result of of school, so I met so many the friends that I became friends with throughout my childhood there my parents met the parents of other children that I became friends with Through the school system, and it just had it was such a huge huge part of my life when I was in grade 3, there was a I had always had white teachers and in grade 3 I had a student teacher. His name was Mr. Yip. His name was Emmanuel Yip and I was always a very, very shy child Really really shy could not come out of my shell. I was really I had lots of friends, but in front of teachers, I just that level authority kind of like freaked me out and for whatever reason, Mr. Yep really took me under his wing. He did a big kind of spectacle for his student teaching, and he called it the master of ceremony so there’s a big kind of like congratulatory ceremony that we all participated in and he asked me to MC it which I don’t really quite know why he chose me because I was so painfully shy, but it was one of the first I think instances that I remember that somebody really took a chance on me, and I still have this picture. I still have this picture of of me and Mr. Yip and I think I had a crush on him because I’m blushing to death and in this picture but he really just took the time to make me feel really really seen and really really hurt and it was really from that point forward that I wanted to get into teaching. I didn’t really come totally out of my shell until until much much later until I was about in university, but kind of that first experience with Mr. Yip really made me appreciate the gravity of a good teacher somebody who really cares in somebody’s life and I think about that moment often and I really try to think about different ways throughout the year that I can kind of in some small way, provide that for my own students now.”
How does the text deviate from conventions of written English?
The text is a stream of consciousness style, with long sentences and ideas that flow without clear paragraphing. Sentences from my story lack proper structures with lots of run on sentences and fragments like: “and it’s really really rigorous process and it’s because back and in my parents time especially if you were able to…”). There are also lots of instances of very casual and informal language such as, “gonna”, “like I said”, “freaked me out”. These deviate from formal written English. As well, I use many filler and hesitation words – “uh” and “like” – that would not be used in written form.
What is “wrong” in the text? What is “right”?
There is a general lack of cohesion and overuse of informal words and conventions. The conversational tone is natural in speaking but appears ‘wrong’ because of the lack of clarity and coherence in its written form. I believe that this captures my voice and purpose of my story in authentic way. There is real emotion that comes through with my pauses and hesitation marks apparent more during more emotional parts of the story.
What are the most common “mistakes” in the text and why do you consider them “mistakes”?
Common mistakes are the run on sentences and fragments in the dictation. They are mistakes because in written form, they detract from the story and make reading it back more confusing for a reader.
What if you had “scripted” the story? What difference might that have made? In what ways does oral storytelling differ from written storytelling?
If I had scripted the story, I would have divided it into clear and cohesive sections – possibly a family background, childhood in Canada and encounter with Mr. Yip paragraphs. In this way, I could have organized and developed my ideas within each of these sections to allow for a richer reader experience. As well, I would have used more precise and colourful vocabulary and richer figurative language. These are less neccessary in oral language due to the presence of the speaker. Oral language also relies on intonation, gestures and pauses to portray meaning. It encourages fillers and repetitions to maintain interest.