There must be like a Hot Boy Society at UBC who has a table set up somewhere. Maybe hidden behind the Sauder clubs on Main Mall or the Chinese Society who owns the Chem Building lawn across from the bookstore. But why haven’t I found them yet? I’ve been really good about wearing my glasses…

All of that changed this morning. If the society does exist, I now know where they all come together to meet and discuss hot boy topics like… Flight of the Conchords? or.. Powerthirst YouTube videos? I’m not sure what hot boys would discuss, hopefully they can quote a few good lines from Powerthirst for me but, as long as they look outstanding I really don’t give a damn.

Here’s what you want to know: All the hot boys in Totem come out for 8am breakfast in the dining hall. As if they all own pagers from the 90s or something and they were all paged to go to the dining hall for free gym memberships- they all just flood the room out of no where. One second I’m grabbing my chocolate milk, the next second I’m noticing gorgeous boys all around me. If I knew how, I’d make a pie graph to show you the percentage of hot boys that were in the dining hall compared to average looking people like myself. There was so many of them, it was like they were walking in slow motion. I’m not kidding.

Girls- you now know. 8am breakfast- the dining hall is infested with hot first year men. I have done my duty as a blogger and the world now knows. I can now watch Glee with a clear conscience.