I’m going to prelude this blog post by saying I’m feeling a million things at once. Sadness, excitement, fear, fatigue etc. etc. I will sum up my feelings by naming them multi-moon. Also, there are many photos of my own face here. So yeah. ENJOY
Rewind to ten months ago, when I was getting ready to head to Mexico— a country I knew little about (although everyone seemed to have an opinion about it). I was kind of scared. I waved goodbye to my mom at the airport after enjoying my final bubble tea I would have for a while, and wondered if it would be difficult to adapt to this new environment I was heading into: Everyone speaking spanish. No bubble tea. That’s about as much as I knew. I literally had no idea what to expect, and knew nobody. I was an adventure-woman, heading head first into a sea of unknown! Wow!
But right from the time I was greeted at the Mexico City airport by a Japanese/Mexican family who were friends of friends to this point of getting ready to head to the airport tonight (HOLY.SHIT.) it has flown by. Literally fastest 10 months of my life. How am I going to leave the life that I’ve built here?
Serious faces with the roomie
checking out Toluca!
I’m having these moments of looking around and thinking to myself, “man, I am going to miss this”. Whether it’s just walking back to my apartment from school, or discussing slang with Mexicans over pulque. The other day I saw a pretty common Mexican sight: a bored looking guy on his phone, selling tamales on the side of the road with his bike-cart-contraption. It was simple, and the dude looked pretty bored but I kind of choked up. Even when I go out I just think “there are so many Mexican around me right now. I’m going to miss being surrounded by Mexicans”.
Ceyhun and meeeee
That time Lauren visited from Canada. Amazing!
At the same time though, I feel a slight readyness to go home. Even as I type those words, I get a knot in my stomach. I think wait, am I ready to go home? I think it’s better explained as a weird sense of fatigue. Being here for a set amount of time, and with Mexico being a country with so much to do and see, I always feel this constant need to go go go. To travel to the famous places I haven’t been yet, to go out and have a night out, to spend as much time soaking everything up. I love it, I love it so but oof, I feel like I might be crashing.It’s really been a wonderful year of go go gooooooooo, and now I guess some rest is needed (for just A LITTLE mom!)
Nonetheless, once I get home I know it’s going to be the things that don’t exist at home yet are common and normal here that I’m going to miss a lot. To be honest…I’m scared. I’m scared because I’ve had so much fun this year, and I don’t know if that’s going to happen again. When something is good, I want it to last forever (typical youngest child). But that’s not how life works is it? We got to keep moving, and to keep finding out happiness. It’s that cheesy line of:
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened
It’s so cheesy, but it’s so true. I’m grateful to have experienced such a rich and fascinating culture, and to have met so many people from all over the world. Everyday was like this new adventure, with something awesome to be discovered around the corner. That’s the most exciting thing ever don’t you think?
So anyways, I guess this is goodbye for now Mexico. You opened your arms to me and I’ll never forget all the amazing experiences I had with you. You’ve made me more curious about the world, and I feel more prepared to take on the world after living here with you. I’m going to miss you and your bright, colourful, full-of-life attitude.
Love forever,
Saki
