Nina the little black bird grew up in a neighbourhood that dressed her. What I mean is that the neighbourhood got into her bones and she wore it as a badge of honour, even though others may have seen the place as less than desirable. The many years of living in this town seemed to have made Nina a strong and fearless woman. High school took place without wonder, but upon graduation Nina began to dream. “What if I could actually leave this place and be better?” she thought. “This doesn’t feel like home anymore, it feels repressive.”
Nina stayed in her town through University and then finally on to a great job, but as time went on, home was still not enough to satisfy Nina. “It is so boring here, I am bigger than this! I can feel it!” thought Nina. A deep yearning was leading her to be more that what she thought she currently was. A deep yearning was niggling at her right ear feeding her thoughts that made her restless. ” I am fearless and I am strong, but that is not enough”, she felt. Home was not enough for Nina and she didn’t know why. Although all that she needed was there, family, friends, support and safety, Nina felt a homelessness that she believed could only be satiated by leaving and becoming more.
Nina flew from her town and landed in a smaller town. Nina knew the first night she arrived that home was not here either, but she stayed for years and blossomed where she was planted. One dreary night, in this smaller town, Nina got a phone call from mamma bird telling her that papa bird had died suddenly of a heart attack. There is something about losing a parent that makes you feel like you’ve lost a piece of home. At least that is how it felt for Nina. It grieved the little bird, but it also pushed her to keep up the search for what she thought might be home. If dad was gone than it definitely couldn’t be in that town that dressed her, although at times all she wanted was to be wrapped in it’s arms of family and support.
On she went and landed in a big city. One of the biggest in North America. How exciting it was, as she was going to start over and be somebody and live on as a legacy for her dad. And lived she did! She met a partner bird and they created a little bird all in the span of two years. Nina was on a mission. Mission accomplished right? How much greater can you get than creating a life.
You see this story doesn’t really end the way Nina thought it would. In fact it ends with the preparation to fly back to the town that dressed her and be with her mom. Funnily enough Nina’s partner grew up quite close to the town that dressed Nina and had the same epiphany to return home. Home for Nina as she discovered is where mom is. Nina knows now that she is a mother, that home is where her mom is and that the town that dressed her was simply an extension of her mother. If mamma bird left for the arctic, home would be in the arctic. All along home was in a person. So what happens when that person or home leaves this earth? Does that leave Nina homeless?
Epilogue:
I think that for a lot of children of immigrants, home is and illusive thing when it comes to looking at a piece of land. We live between two worlds and both of them seem to belong to someone else. That is why my home is contained in my mother for me. My home is with the person that loves me beyond life. In Her I find land and in her I find rest. I am dressed by my mother.
Till next time,
Sarah Afful
Works Cited
D’Souza. J Brian, “Children of Immigrants and their Challenges.” Canadian Immigrant, 2018, www.canadianimmigrant.ca/living/parenting/children-of-immigrants-and-their-challenges. Accessed 28 January 2020.
“Exploring the ‘Kingdom of Women’ in China”. Today, Youtube, 3 June 2019, www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxCOrw2_2ww. Accessed 28 January 2020.
“Flying Black Bird”. Netclipart, 2019, www.netclipart.com/isee/iTwmhi_clip-arts-related-to-flying-black-bird-png/.(Image) Accessed 28 January 2020.