Whether you’re an incoming first year student deciding whether or not to hold on to that high school sweetheart back home or an upper-year who has recently been separated by his or her recent graduate moving on to bigger and better things – I have some reassuring advice for you! Now, I’m definitely not a love expert (if such a thing even exists?), but I am and have been a member of the long distance relationship club for almost a year now. I know a lot of people will discourage a long distance relationship for a multitude of reasons, but I just wanted to shed some light on the subject and insure all of you who are questioning whether or not to make your relationship work that there are plenty of people, like me, making the whole long distance thing work.

So, I’ve separated this blog in to two sections: 1. Tips and Questions that might help you decide whether to hold on or let go of your someone special and 2. My own personal long distance story is at the end. I know some people would like to be spared the “sappiness” of such a story so I thought I’d separate it like so.

PART 1: Tips & Questions

In order to decide whether to stay together or break up for the better, you should ask yourself a few questions to help assess whether you honestly feel that what you and your sweetheart have is long distance proof.

1. Do you wholeheartedly trust this person?

Trust is a huge factor when it comes to long distance. If you have trust issues or have struggled to believe what your significant other tells you while you’re actually together, you might want to reconsider. Stress from a long distance relationship (or any relationship) can easily seep in to your academic life and can cause a lot of distraction so be sure that trust issues won’t become a hindrance. Also take in to account fidelity and honesty.

2. Are there going to be opportunities for you to see this person in the future?

While part of being long distance is being a part, the best part is being able to look forward to when you’ll actually be together! If you aren’t going to or aren’t able to see your significant other as often or as much as needed, take this in to account.

3. Will there be a way for the two of you to keep in contact while apart?

Communication is key in any relationship and if you lack it completely, your long distance status might become a little bit of a struggle. If the two of you are living in separate countries, your phone bill might be run up by long distance charges. I highly suggest investing in a web camera for your computer and a program like Skype where the two of you can see one another face to face and get that much appreciated talking time. Skype sessions are what my boyfriend and I look forward to most because we get that much needed “face time” .

4. Does this person make you genuinely happy?

This may seem like a silly question, but it is not one to take lightly in this process. If you’re already unhappy with your relationship, don’t hold on while coming in to university because as discussed before it can become a major distraction. However, if you are happy it will definitely make going the distance a lot easier and more enjoyable.

 

So those are my suggestions for questions to really mull over before making the serious plunge in to long distancehood. I learned this year that “LDR” is actually an acronym for long distance relationship and it’s a hot topic because there are plenty of people in university and all around the globe experiencing the separation from their loved one. If this is something you’re really considering, I highly recommend this link: http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/index.html . It’s a community of people in long distance relationships. There’s lots of great advice, message boards, gift ideas, and more.

 

Now, for PART 2: My Own Personal LDR Story

                My current sweetheart and I met in my hometown where we used to work together. Over the summer before I left for university we became pretty close as friends, started dating, and couldn’t help but make it official right before I left. My story has its own extremely cheesy twist because as I was heading off for my freshman year of university, my boyfriend was on his way to boot camp for the United States Marine Corps.  Upon telling my new found friends at university about this, they all exclaimed “Ahh it’s like the movie ‘Dear John’!” I’ve never seen that movie, but I’m pretty sure it has a sad ending. But anyways, the strict rules of the United States military make it so the only form of communication my boyfriend and I could have for the next 4 months was letters. JUST LETTERS. No texting, no Skype, no e-mailing, nothing but letters for four whole months. I know, I’m a crazy woman. So, after four whole months (my 1^st semester of freshman year), I received and responded to a grand total of 8 letters from my boyfriend back home in boot camp in America. BUT right after December exams I had a plane ticket home to see him again for the first time in 4 months.

Seeing him again for the first time definitely seemed like a moment you’d read about in a romance novel. We had a great 2 weeks together and I couldn’t be happier to see him again. But, I had to go back to Canada to finish my freshman year of university while he remained in America to continue serving our country and training. At least now his intense training was over and we were able to text and Skype frequently which definitely became a high light and still is in our relationship. Upon finishing my finals and first year of university, my darling bought me a plane ticket to visit him at his new base (which was so nicely situated on a beach!) for 10 days. It was definitely an awesome and much needed visit for us. Being a part has made me appreciate him so much more and realize the meaning in the saying of you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. And the grand almost 3,000 miles of distance between us has definitely made my heart grow fonder.

Now, as we’re coming upon our 1 year anniversary, I have realized that we’ve spent more time together than apart and we’re working on spending more time together as soon as possible. Thankfully, in the upcoming months he’ll be stationed on a base on the West Coast so we’ll be much closer. And if things work out, he’ll be visiting in me in Canada for Christmas. *Fingers Crossed!*  Until then, we’ll look forward to our Skype calls and unfortunately spending our anniversary a part, but it’s a lot better than it sounds. Sometimes you realize you’d rather have someone in your life at a distance than not at all. Regardless of whether we stay together or separate, I’m definitely glad I had this experience and got to know this wonderful human being that is my boyfriend.

With that said, I wish you the best of luck with your own love stories. Regardless of how it turns out, it’s always for the best! I hope you found this blog helpful J If you have any comments, questions, suggestions, or recommendations on what I should write about next , please be sure to comment below! Thanks for reading.