Tag Archives: Tips

Going the Distance? : Tips & Personal Advice on Long Distance Relationships in University

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Whether you’re an incoming first year student deciding whether or not to hold on to that high school sweetheart back home or an upper-year who has recently been separated by his or her recent graduate moving on to bigger and better things – I have some reassuring advice for you! Now, I’m definitely not a love expert (if such a thing even exists?), but I am and have been a member of the long distance relationship club for almost a year now. I know a lot of people will discourage a long distance relationship for a multitude of reasons, but I just wanted to shed some light on the subject and insure all of you who are questioning whether or not to make your relationship work that there are plenty of people, like me, making the whole long distance thing work.

So, I’ve separated this blog in to two sections: 1. Tips and Questions that might help you decide whether to hold on or let go of your someone special and 2. My own personal long distance story is at the end. I know some people would like to be spared the “sappiness” of such a story so I thought I’d separate it like so.

PART 1: Tips & Questions

In order to decide whether to stay together or break up for the better, you should ask yourself a few questions to help assess whether you honestly feel that what you and your sweetheart have is long distance proof.

1. Do you wholeheartedly trust this person?

Trust is a huge factor when it comes to long distance. If you have trust issues or have struggled to believe what your significant other tells you while you’re actually together, you might want to reconsider. Stress from a long distance relationship (or any relationship) can easily seep in to your academic life and can cause a lot of distraction so be sure that trust issues won’t become a hindrance. Also take in to account fidelity and honesty.

2. Are there going to be opportunities for you to see this person in the future?

While part of being long distance is being a part, the best part is being able to look forward to when you’ll actually be together! If you aren’t going to or aren’t able to see your significant other as often or as much as needed, take this in to account.

3. Will there be a way for the two of you to keep in contact while apart?

Communication is key in any relationship and if you lack it completely, your long distance status might become a little bit of a struggle. If the two of you are living in separate countries, your phone bill might be run up by long distance charges. I highly suggest investing in a web camera for your computer and a program like Skype where the two of you can see one another face to face and get that much appreciated talking time. Skype sessions are what my boyfriend and I look forward to most because we get that much needed “face time” .

4. Does this person make you genuinely happy?

This may seem like a silly question, but it is not one to take lightly in this process. If you’re already unhappy with your relationship, don’t hold on while coming in to university because as discussed before it can become a major distraction. However, if you are happy it will definitely make going the distance a lot easier and more enjoyable.

 

So those are my suggestions for questions to really mull over before making the serious plunge in to long distancehood. I learned this year that “LDR” is actually an acronym for long distance relationship and it’s a hot topic because there are plenty of people in university and all around the globe experiencing the separation from their loved one. If this is something you’re really considering, I highly recommend this link: http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/index.html . It’s a community of people in long distance relationships. There’s lots of great advice, message boards, gift ideas, and more.

 

Now, for PART 2: My Own Personal LDR Story

                My current sweetheart and I met in my hometown where we used to work together. Over the summer before I left for university we became pretty close as friends, started dating, and couldn’t help but make it official right before I left. My story has its own extremely cheesy twist because as I was heading off for my freshman year of university, my boyfriend was on his way to boot camp for the United States Marine Corps.  Upon telling my new found friends at university about this, they all exclaimed “Ahh it’s like the movie ‘Dear John’!” I’ve never seen that movie, but I’m pretty sure it has a sad ending. But anyways, the strict rules of the United States military make it so the only form of communication my boyfriend and I could have for the next 4 months was letters. JUST LETTERS. No texting, no Skype, no e-mailing, nothing but letters for four whole months. I know, I’m a crazy woman. So, after four whole months (my 1st semester of freshman year), I received and responded to a grand total of 8 letters from my boyfriend back home in boot camp in America. BUT right after December exams I had a plane ticket home to see him again for the first time in 4 months.

Seeing him again for the first time definitely seemed like a moment you’d read about in a romance novel. We had a great 2 weeks together and I couldn’t be happier to see him again. But, I had to go back to Canada to finish my freshman year of university while he remained in America to continue serving our country and training. At least now his intense training was over and we were able to text and Skype frequently which definitely became a high light and still is in our relationship. Upon finishing my finals and first year of university, my darling bought me a plane ticket to visit him at his new base (which was so nicely situated on a beach!) for 10 days. It was definitely an awesome and much needed visit for us. Being a part has made me appreciate him so much more and realize the meaning in the saying of you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. And the grand almost 3,000 miles of distance between us has definitely made my heart grow fonder.

Now, as we’re coming upon our 1 year anniversary, I have realized that we’ve spent more time together than apart and we’re working on spending more time together as soon as possible. Thankfully, in the upcoming months he’ll be stationed on a base on the West Coast so we’ll be much closer. And if things work out, he’ll be visiting in me in Canada for Christmas. *Fingers Crossed!*  Until then, we’ll look forward to our Skype calls and unfortunately spending our anniversary a part, but it’s a lot better than it sounds. Sometimes you realize you’d rather have someone in your life at a distance than not at all. Regardless of whether we stay together or separate, I’m definitely glad I had this experience and got to know this wonderful human being that is my boyfriend.

With that said, I wish you the best of luck with your own love stories. Regardless of how it turns out, it’s always for the best! I hope you found this blog helpful J If you have any comments, questions, suggestions, or recommendations on what I should write about next , please be sure to comment below! Thanks for reading.

First Year Wrap Up

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So I know this blog post is way delayed, but I felt that it was definitely necessary to do.

 

After completing my crazy first year of university I learned a lot of things – inside and outside of the classroom. I figured I would break these two types of learning experiences in to two and pass on some helpful hints to you, especially if you are an incoming freshman. If you are, congratulations! You’re about to be a part of something great. It’s normal to be nervous – I definitely was! – but all that passes once you acclimate yourself to this new environment. So to help you along here are some personal helpful hints:

THINGS I LEARNED OUTSIDE OF THE CLASSROOM:

1. Always take advantage of your resources! UBC has an abundance of not only great, but often FREE resources that are available to students. Here are a few I really suggest taking advantage of :

–Your ESP (Enrollment Services Professional): This lovely individual should become your best friend because when it seems like every other office you go to is passing you along to the next office for answers this person will likely be able to answer your question in an e-mail. From personal experience, my ESP was very thoughtful and always told me when she was available to meet in person. So definitely take advantage of this awesome resource!

– UBC Counselling Services:  If the stress of university is getting to you or you just want someone to confide in, take advantage of this awesome centre . Everything is confidential and the centre hosts lots of awesome support groups for a variety of circumstances and situations that often arise in university.

-Centre for Student Involvement & Careers : Looking to get involved or have questions on how to vamp up your resume’? Head over to this wonderful place! I was so lucky to be a part of the Blog Squad this year which was run out of the Involvement section of this centre. This place hosts a great atmosphere and serves as a very helpful place to learn how to get involved on campus and how to prepare yourself career wise. Be sure to check it out.

-UBC Pool: Enjoy swimming or diving? Be sure to get your daily dose of chlorine here! I’ve spent so many days after class distressing at the pool. **It’s also a popular place to nap in between classes**

 

2. Have a social life.  University isn’t always about being buried in your school work. Be sure to take the time to have some fun and relax. Visit the many relaxing beaches near campus, explore downtown, or if you’re looking for the popular event of the week visit thecalendar.ca. This website lists all the big events happening at or close to UBC. Be sure to bookmark it on your browser!

3. Be sure to always have this month’s UPass. The transit police aren’t always the nicest people.

4. If you enjoy a good laugh and/or the webpage Tumblr be sure to follow #whatweshouldcallubc . The page is hilarious and filled with all sorts of UBC related jokes.

 

THINGS I LEARNED INSIDE THE CLASSROOM:

1. Don’t talk, whisper, practice Morse code, or whatever during lecture!  It’s extremely rude and I promise your fellow classmates will hate you for it.

2. The standard time table option can be a great option. One of the best aspects of my experience as a first year student was my enrollment in the Coordinated Arts Program (CAP). Even after completing what felt like a Harry Potter series worth of essays, I would still say it was a great and highly influential experience. I chose the CAP option because honestly, I had no idea what to do with my university career! However, the CAP option is divided in to different streams that cater to different interests. I chose the Global Citizens theme and loved it! Through this program I learned very quickly where my interests lie and it helped shaped many of the decisions I made in regards to future steps in my university career. So, if you don’t know exactly what you want to do in university – don’t worry! I definitely suggest looking in to some of the standard time table options, especially CAP.

2. Sometimes the class you think you’ll do the worst in, will become your favourite.  As a part of my bundle of CAP courses I was required to take political science. To be honest, I knew very little of political science, but I very much dreaded taking it. However, after a few lectures with a great professor (Professor Farkasch, I highly recommend him!) I came to love the subject. The lesson I learned is the class you might be dreading may not turn out to be so bad. After completing my first year of university, I realized PoliSci was without a doubt my favourite class and I had done the best in it.

3. When it comes to choosing between reading the nonsense on your Facebook newsfeed or typing notes – take notes.  Finals and midterms can count for a large portion of your grade and the best way to do so is to pay attention. While the drama of who is with who may be a little less dry than your biology lecture, take notes instead. Your stressed exam self will thank you for it later.

4. Take classes you are interested in. I know this may sound like common sense, but you would be surprised by how many students, including myself, regret taking certain classes just because they were told they should. Obviously there are required courses you can’t avoid taking, but if you can bypass something without it harming your future in university – Do it. You will do better in classes you actually have a passion for compared to those you find difficult to sit through.

 

While I have definitely learned many important lessons throughout my freshman year at university, I would have to say these are my top tips. I hope they can help you in some way. To my incoming UBC freshman, once again CONGRATULATIONS! If you’re in Arts and participating in Imagine Day (**Another tip: You definitely should!) come say hi! I’m one of the lucky squad leaders and I can’t wait to meet you all. So whether it’s your first of fifth year here at UBC, congratulations on making it this far and best of luck in all your future endeavors.