Hi all,

I owe my apologies. I have been absent from this blog for over a month now and I believe I owe an explanation. Warning: heavy read ahead, I’ll try to lighten it up.

The transition to university is hard, really really hard. I’m sure there are more than a few people who can attest to this. I went to high school in a little town where most people who graduate don’t even go on to post-secondary. Most of my graduating class either directly entered the work force or a select few were going on to do 2 year programs at the community college. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with either of these choices but it was simply never for me. I am one of three people from my graduating class who left our town to go to university.

Needless to say, your surroundings have some influence on the degree of education you receive. I was lucky enough to have a handful of committed teachers that would move mountains for students who wanted to achieve but nonetheless, the tools I needed to prepare myself for this major life change where simply not there. Our “career counsellor” advised me to look into plumbing when I told her I wanted to pursue a degree in International Relations and I was told at a “career fair” that the world wouldn’t always need people in International Relations and I should pursue something more practical, like work in the oil industry. I fought my way through high school trying to push for resources to help me get to where I wanted to be and luckily enough I succeeded.

My mom and sister dropped me off here September 3 after a full day of moving in. I walked back into my room and for only the second time in my entire life, I was completely alone. Weeks went on, I got myself involved in the blog squad and other student organizations, I rushed and received a bid for a sorority, I made friends in both my classes and my residence but there was always something in the back of my mind that, despite being surrounded by people, I was alone. I missed my family, my cat, going on little adventures with my two close friends, coffee dates with my boyfriend; all in all, I was making myself miserable by being stuck in the past.

I felt myself descending into a rut; I wasn’t going to events, I was no long eating as healthy as I should be, I stopped exercising, I wasn’t following through on my commitments. I was letting people down left, right, and centre and for that I am so sorry. The hardest thing for me to comprehend is that I knew it was happening, I could feel it every day that things were not right and yet I kept on allowing myself to sink lower and lower into this rut. It got to a point where I didn’t want to get out of bed; I was content to say nothing, be nothing, act like nothing which, if you’ve ever spent any time with me, if extraordinarily out of character. Over the course of three short weeks I almost lost myself; I wasn’t motivated to create change, I wasn’t applying myself to my academics, and I wasn’t pursuing the things I love.

Luckily my story has a happy ending; I’ve been working each and every day to pull myself up and put myself to work. I can see that cliché light at the end of the tunnel and that’s become what I’m striving for. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Student’s mental health is lower than ever and action needs to be taken. I would encourage anyone who can relate to the above little rant at all, first year or not to reach out. UBC has fantastic counselling services avaliable in Marine Drive and although I did not use them, I wish I would’ve. There’s also so many opportunities to make your voice heard in regards to student mental health – and I would challenge you all to make your voice heard, whether through your respective undergrad society or the AMS, make them listen. I am planning on diving head first into this blog again and adding a section on wellbeing and I hope you all will tune in.

Finally, to those who are still struggling; as overused as this phrase it please take it to heart, keep going. The road to recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. Start small, find something every day that makes you smile. For example, there was the fluffiest squirrel outside my window this morning and I saw a cute dog on my way to class. Reach out, find a support network and let them help you; helping yourself however is just as, if not more, important. You are strong. You are empowered. You are wonderful. And you are incredible.

Let’s all smile a little brighter and stand a little taller today everyone. My conclusion to this whole thing comes best in the world of perhaps the smartest professor ever, Albus Dumbledore: “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.”

Love,

Mikayla