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Personal Self Discovery

(to be) inspired

I have not written anything meaningful in a few weeks. I cannot seem to put any of my thoughts down on paper. I want to share my experiences, to draw insight and reflect on them. But, I am stuck. I feel a disconnect with myself. I don’t feel like I am the same person I was in Africa, nor am I the person I was in Europe. It’s strange to think that I was there, away from home. It’s unsettling to know that I am back, I don’t know why. I wonder how much I’ve changed, if at all. It’s a little more than confusing to sort all this out. So maybe that’s why I haven’t yet bothered to really reflect on my experiences. I am more interested in shallow things like cleaning up my room, catching up on TV shows, listening to songs I missed out over the summer… though while I do these things, I am uncomfortable deep down inside because I know there’s some deep thinking I need to do to create some sort of closure for myself from this big trip away.

I have not heard the right song, or had the right conversation, yet. I don’t even know.

Categories
Personal Self Discovery

Something changed

I could not have asked for a better trip at a better time. I met such amazing people and my time away has allowed me to come to terms with some things and some relationships.

Having been in so many different cities has definitely given me a different perspective. I want to say that my perspective on life has changed… but it sounds cliche and doesn’t quite capture the personal journey that was this whole trip..

I still haven’t found all the right words to describe my experiences from the past 4 months. When I get home tomorrow, I’m going to focus on enjoying family time and catching up with friends. I shall do my reflecting gradually, through conversations and with time.

But something has changed.

Categories
Personal Self Discovery

I can`t imagine being home right now

I`ve mixed feelings about my departure flight back to Vancouver in a couple of days.

Just yesterday I spent the whole day around Paris, enjoying all the classic sights. In the morning, I woke up and walked by the Sacre- Coeur on my way to the Metro. I enjoyed a Sunday morning stroll with a coffee and a delicious apple tarte down the Champs- Elysee from l`arc du Triomphe. When we reached the other side, we walked down the Alexander III bridge to the Hotel Invalid where the Royal family lived for many years. From late morning to early afternoon, I was in the Louvre, walking down galleries past galleries of history presented in the most glorious and elegant displays. Then I had lunch: half of it in the Louvre because I was hungry (and to say I`ve done it), and the rest in the Jardins du Tuilleries, the gardens surrounding the Louvre pyramid. We then hopped onto a boat and cruised down La Seine to the Ile de la Cite, where the Notre Dame stands, among other smaller (but equally important) museums. We took a stroll off the main tourist pathway, and found ourselves in a little antique bookshop, where books from hundreds of years ago were available for purchase at less than 5euros a piece! We enjoyed an early dinner, and I tried l`èscargot, which I thoroughly enjoyed, minus one because it was so big it looked too snail- like for my appetite… Hopped back on the boat, cruised down further to the Eiffel Tower. There, we enjoyed the night view of the Eiffel, which was lit up so that it looked like a golden tower. There were musicians and actors performing on the square between the Tower and one of the bigger museums, and it was really lively to be there, present. While we waited for the Tower to start sparkling (every hour starting at 2200), we enjoyed a Nutella and banana crepe which was authentically French… (mhmmmmmm)

Now, I am back in London after a really short flight, sitting next to a guy that was also next to me on the flight to Paris. He was really cute, but we didn`t talk much last time since I was so tired. He seemed the shy type, so it was really amusing to see him want to chat but then it was slightly awkward because he wasn`t super outgoing. Anyway, he was sweet and friendly, and it was a nice flight back to London. When we got off, he didn`t walk away quickly… he waited for me and I thought I was going to get a phone number or something, but no. Still, it`s nice to know there are good looking men out there who aren`t jerks or cynics. I`m back in the original London hostel I stayed at a week ago. It`s karaoke night, and bits of the AT40 float up to my room… I need to be up early tomorrow to catch a taxi to the airport.

So no, I cannot imagine being home right now. I am in love with this freedom of travelling, of being whoever I choose to present myself to be. But I must go back and pay back my credit card bill first, to apply for my loan again, to graduate, and to conclude the assignments for my African placement. I already know where I am going on my next trip: Austria, Sweden, Denmark.

Good night. I am home so soon. 2 more nights.

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