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note: development

Browsed through a blog of the UBC students who have replaced us in Busolwe this term, and I realize that she is experiencing a lot of the same things I did. She is faced with the same disappointments and struggles as I was, even though each of us left behind a report outlining all the challenges we faced along with suggestions to overcome them. I think that the inefficiency of development work is similar to the inefficiency of the service projects we try to implement and sustain there, in that specific African town. Even if she has read all the challenges we listed out, there is no way for her to understand exactly what our suggestions mean, until she comes to them herself. It was the same cycle for us, when we were dealing with our culture shock and settling in, etc. It’s like the cohorts of students that are sent over experience their own individual growth, but the community bears witness to a rewind and replay of the same progress each season..

Perhaps UBC should send over masters students for a few years, rather than just a few months, so that they can actually do some work and continue the project until it is truly stable and sustainable enough to stand on its own. So that students have a chance to experience their individual struggles, grow from them, and become well informed enough to be truly community- focused and cater to the community’s needs. Because truth be told, it’s not easy to not be selfish for the first 1.5- 2 months, when students like me had to deal with a culture and environment very different from the ones we are so used to and take for granted here at home. We are too busy making first-off judgments of the community, understanding them through the existing schemas in our mind, to really deliver projects that are not selfish, either. It’s like the projects we develop in the three short months we are there are really to fulfill our sense of service, to accomplish “what we were there to do”, rather than addressing the true needs of the community.

Though for what the ISL program is, at least we raise awareness for the community, share our stories and broaden the understanding of our friends and family. Stef, Hanna, and I have connected an elementary school in Gibsons, B.C. to our newly established school in the library we worked at. We started a fundraiser that will run from Monday to Friday next week, not just to raise money, but to educate students of the reality that is on the other side of the world.

So far, we have raised $425 with generous donations from their Valentine’s Day fundraiser and the local Rotary Club, to kick start the fundraising. This money will go towards constructing a playground for the school, as well as to invest in renovations and materials for students.

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Here I am

Here I am, sitting in my room researching on a host of assessment scales and tests to measure four variables, which would hypothetically allow me to evaluate the effectiveness of an intervention treatment for ADHD students. I’ve read through maybe 20 papers so far.. and though it feels like I sort of know what I’m writing about, I don’t think I fully understand all the statistical jargon which I’m supposed to compare and assess.

I definitely did not think I would be doing this, four years ago. Sometimes it feels like I’m fluking through my undergraduate degree. As if the ideas and conclusions I make in each paper I write are all BS. Which I know they aren’t. But sometimes, I cannot help but doubt my own accomplishments.

Today I wrote my very first reference recommendation for someone. I feel like I deserve a pat on the back from myself, recognizing that I’ve come at least far enough in my leadership to vouch for someone else on their way to where I stand now.

Back to research…. I am so glad I took this Clinical Psychology class. Now, I know for sure that I do not want to go to graduate school to study psychology.

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betrayals, in hindsight

You will never be the same after someone betrays you and that can be a bitter pill to swallow. But it’s important to realize that everyone serves a purpose in your life and that you’re better off knowing someone’s true colors than not. Understanding that people can be really crappy will take you far in life. Thought Catalog

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