Categories
College Personal Self Discovery

I spy with my little eyes

My eyes are drawn to

the pile of CD’s, Surround by Jon Bauer/ Passion Awakening Concert/ Reconnect Me (talk by a youth pastor) and books of short essays, On Friendship by Montaigne/ The Wars by Timothy Findley,
the order in which they’re stacked is a bitter reflection of what importance they hold in my life.
though the fact that they are anywhere on my desk at all should be
an indication/proof?/meaning/ a reminder
that I am who I am because I’ve lived through all those phases;

a corner in my room where a pile of what looks like junk sits, since August 17
They are a collection of fresh batteries, travel- sized floss, pencils and pens, small ziploc bags even, select postcards,
my emergency things when I was abroad, in Africa, Europe, in the air flying between places
Now, they are objects useless in relation to what sorts of things I need now.
Which are: books, ipod and its charger, blackberry and its charger, box of makeup, plate of jewelry, ID’s, usb’s, my agenda, post-it notes,
so all these things, along with the assignments already accumulating from the start of this school term, September 8, have pushed almost everything
related to Africa and my experience there
aside. Life is much more fast- paced here.
To which my best friend laughed at, she who started her new life in New York; her life even more speeding.
She misses the Vancouver pace, which I also appreciate as the perfect rhythm compared to cities around the world. But, I crave the reality and earthliness of the village. The sounds (or lack thereof) and the stars, and the backdrop of fiery sunsets;

my textbook on cultural psychology,
which is teaching me how it is that researchers study
the interactions which I’ve experienced this past summer.
It’s tedious, reading the operationalized concepts reiterated over and over and over again.
I miss just doing;

the countless sweaters on my floor: seven.
six scarves, four pairs of legwarmers;
I love this season because these are my favourite wardrobe items;

my computer screen, which has been the center of my attention
ever since I got back from Africa
which is kind of pathetic.
I set time apart so that I get back in touch through words (reading, writing)
what would I do without literature? It’s shaped who I am.
I am currently reading: Alias Grace (Atwood), An Imperfect Offering (Orbinski), A Complicated Kindness (Toew), The Black Book (Pamuk), somehow all at once. It depends on what mood I’m in.
Too bad I’ve only been reading Personality perspectives, Abnormal Psychology, Cultural Psychology, Clinical Psychology, Guide to International Development, lately. #lifeofastudent
Also,ebooks are pathetic;

that it is 2:01am
04/10/2011
my internet is at four bars.
apparently these are important things to know.

Categories
Personal

night time

I stay up and enjoy the stillness of the night, more and more often these days.

I just need some time to myself.

 

Categories
Personal

This is what I miss.

Excerpt from June 20, 2011
3:45pm

The sky darkens, and a cool breeze refreshes the sweaty afternoon. The clouds roll in casually, not intrusively this afternoon, and begin to sprinkle the dusty ground with cold droplets of water. The light drizzling wafts a clean smell into the library, and I am no longer drowsy with sleep. It smells like home, like a light rainy day in Vancouver.

The children who were playing on the dirt roads, some lying lazily in the afternoon cool, suddenly disappear into the houses. Whether they were called in to help with chores, or if they were called in by their parents, I do not know… it doesn’t seem like a Ugandan to escape the rain by seeking shelter. Today is unusually quiet, anyway, no goats are baa-ing by the library entrance, and no cows are moo-ing with restlessness. Chicken walk around quietly, and even the children are milder today. As the rain patters down with increasing strength, I see an older woman walking home at a brisk pace, with her veil tiede around her shoulder to keep in warmth. As she walks by, I see that the veil was tied to cover the head of the baby strapped to her back, to shelter it from the cold rain. I see school children walking along the same road, less bothered by the rain considering they do not have babies tied to their backs, and they don’t have a household to rush home to feed. Still, they walk faster than the usual afternoon drawl. A man bikes by on his rickety bicycle, followed by two teenagers sharing a cycle home from school. The all stare curiously at me, as I type away in the magic of the rainy moment, at peace with this calm rain. I am engrossed in this moment, moved bythe voice of Melody Gardot, reminded of home. The reminder of home somehow allows me appreciate this moment even more; this is home away from home.

The rain lazily passes by, but returns with a full, sly, force accompanied by stronger winds.  The town picks up its energy, seeing no use in wasting time escaping the rain. People ride by on the roads, on their way to the town center. Or perhaps, the rain just caught the afternoon lull, and it wasn’t the rain that caused the lull.

7:24pm

The soft hum of the crickets pulse in the evening air. It’s a cool night, peaceful after the afternoon storm. The air is clean, and the mood is light; we are all lounging in our living room, Stephanie wrapped up in her blanket, Hannali seated comfortably in her couch, and me cozy in my UBC hoodie and fern PJ pants. We spent our evening reading, and I finished the Harry Potter book that I started this morning. What a delightful read, so full of gorgeous imagery and extraordinary scenes.

It’s been one of those satisfying days, a good day as we like to call it. I haven’t felt so at peace with myself since we arrived here. Our home is cozy: there are barely any bugs, and it isn’t hot and humid as it was last night. Theis week will be another short one, because we leave early on Friday morning for Entebbe for our mid- session retreat. It’ll be a nice break, far away from Busolwe and Mugulu, and it’s come at a good time. We have just settled well into our house, and it’s appropriate during this time to retreat and reflect on what we’ve been doing.

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