Today I opened my old hotmail account since a very long time and realized with dread how many web accounts I’ve set up over the past 10 years ever since I learned how to set up accounts. There are so many web identities I have; there is so much of me in all those identities, all over the web. What a freakish thought.
I woke up around 2am to finish some homework for the Chinese course that I am taking for credits towards graduation and naturally around 4am I got distracted and started browsing through previous blog posts. I realized how much thought I put into every blog post, so much so that they revealed way too much of who I am. But I suppose that was the point. Anyway I tried to delete the post but didn’t because 1) I forgot the username/password to that blog and 2) it feels wrong to un-write something, just because you can’t just take words back like that, can you? Either way I should look into finding that username/password combo and disregard the latter reason in the name of my future professional profile.
I also need to change my legal name. Perhaps in May.
There are a lot of things I want to disregard from my past, because mistakes are embarrassing. Yet that is how I learned. All those silly immature versions of me have shaped who I am today: university graduate, communicative, loving daughter, loyal friend, faithful and trusting girlfriend. I am still making mistakes. Just learning not to broadcast them onto the web– I’ve learned from that mistake already.
It’s going to be a long, long, long day. Tomorrow is Saturday. I am going to sleep in until noon and read all afternoon and maybe even take a nap a few hours after I wake up.