First of all, I would like to express my deep gratitude for everyone who supported and followed my case from the very beginning until now. I am touched by the amount of messages and emails I’ve received expressing support for my case, which has been followed by thousands all over the world.
I got married on August 1st on the Unceded Coastal Salish Territories without my mom present, but soon after, I received the great news that she was granted a visa to visit Canada, and will be here soon. Although she wasn’t with me then, I am extremely happy that she was finally accepted, and we will have a small celebration when she arrives, since she missed the big one.
My story is not unique. My story is only one of thousands, maybe millions, where unfair decisions were made in regards to border politics. Immigration laws are getting stricter, but humanity is not dead. The increasing number of people overstaying their time given has caused a culture of fearing “The Other”. The ideology of “Otherness” creates barriers between nations, but The Other should not be feared. We need to build a culture of tolerance and love without looking at race, social class, religion, gender or sexual orientation. This is a story of solidarity and love and it wouldn’t have gotten this far without the amount of love and support I received from thousands of people I don’t personally know.
Honestly, when I started writing my story, I was hoping to get 1000 signatures so I could reach my MP, and was surprised to find 19,000+ people signed the petition. I never expected the media would cover it because I thought it was nothing special. I spent so many sleepless nights sobbing in midst of preparing for my wedding, while working on this. This victory was neither easy, nor personal, but serves as a reminder to speak up against social injustices and to fight for our rights. Do not ever give up on a dream you have, no matter what everyone around you thinks or says.
Never underestimate the power of writing. Just remember to always have hope, no matter what.
I am most happy for you, and best wishes on your marriage
Congrats on your Mom coming. Bravo you spoke up too and dared to do the petition. Immigration Canada is a mess and does NOT reflect the values of the average Canadian.
I am a Canada Born woman who married my husband in 2011 in India then Bangkok. We were deemed “not geniune” by a bizarre set of rules and a strange interview my husband had with an agent in Delhi. We are in our 5th year of marriage with a 12 year relationship. I moved last year to Mumbai, India and we have a very good marriage.
He has not met my family and friends! Everyone who knows the story is revolted and shocked he could not come for a visit to Canada. We are planning on coming for Christmas. Inhales here as we apply for a tourist visa for him. This story gives us hope he can finally travel to Canada. Enjoy your Mom’s visit! Many more to come too!
Bravo, Gail Rao
Maybe you should start a petition on change.org. I am pretty confident you would receive a lot of signatures and support.
Hi there.
Well congrats to the winners !
I ready about your “not genuine” marriage. It is just too sad. My marriage was also deemed as “not genuine” . Even worse, i am permanent resident since over 20 years in Canada and now with the rules 2 out of 5 years to be in Canada, well that spells that 5 months out of a year i cant be with my wife.
It is just unbelievable how unjust this system is. An immigration officer take maybe 5 or 10 minutes max to look at the case and deems it as “not genuine” .
Who is he or her to have all the insides or the right to deem my marriage as not genuine. He or she has not visited us, has not lived with us nor has contacted friends or people that we are with and dares to conclude my marriage as not “not genuine” . What is a genuine marriage one should ask ?
Canada itself has a pretty bad track record of genuine marriages. Remember in this country about 50% of marriages are divorced within the first 15 years.
Have they all not been genuine marriages ? One partner taking advantage of the other in means of financial or other benefits ? They used the expression marriage of convenience. Which marriage is not a marriage of genuine convenience ? It a marriage would be inconvenient, why would anyone marry in the first place. Surely any marriage is a marriage of convenience, at least in the beginning. Later – as statistics tells – , it might turn in some kind of inconvenience for those 50% . I am convinced that the rule set has to be reworked to a state that the officer would have to prove that the marriage is not genuine, if he or she concludes that. Otherwise it should be assumed that any marriage is genuine. It is after all a big step when people consider to marry.
Congrats Doaa, so glad to know it 🙂 at least u have proven that in this world full of unfair judgements, it is also still full of loving and caring people. Hand in hand we will always support each other. Regards to ur mom from Indonesia.
Yay! Glad I was part of making that happen! Cheers!
SO happy for you <3 Congratulations! Normally I do not sign petitions because most times they do not work, but in this case because I too have gone through what you have, you touched my heart and even if I Am unable to go back home to Canada (unless I marry a Canadian) I wanted you to have the happiness even if I could not. Thus even though she was unable to make it for your big wedding day, she will be able to see you still and celebrate and THAT is a victory. For all of us who are unable to be there or have our dreams come true, I Am happy for you that your dream is coming true <3 So much love and may your union of love in marriage be infinitely blessed always, in all ways <3
May one day there be no borders so that all of us can live where our hearts guide us to freely and that we may be able to be with the ones we love freely.
Start a petition of your own on change.org. I will sign it and I’m pretty sure you will receive a lot of support.
I am happy that you are going to see your mom. May you both have a great visit and hopefully many more.
Great news! You must be so excited. Thank heavens we have change.org. Signing a petition actually worked. Have a great time with your mum and best wishes for health, wealth and happiness in your marriage!
Congratulations on succeeding, even if the decision to allow your mum to come *after* the large celebration seems a bit like the begrudging gesture. I must admit that this is the first time I hear of the patent mismanagement of “genuine” / “not genuine” marriages. I am the product of a 62-year marriage that only ended with the passing of my father. My mother, the immigrant to the US, was allowed residency but each time the family traveled to visit her birth family, her required years of residency to acquire citizenship were reset to “0.” My parents were in essence penalized for keeping the family together and for maintaining a productive career of international research. In addition to my congratulations and wishes for a long and happy marriage, I would like to thank you for helping me put this legacy as well as our current Canadian situation in perspective. Best, warm wishes to you and your family.
Congrats Dooa! I’m sorry to hear that your mom was not able to attend your wedding, but I’m happy for you that she will be arriving soon for your own special celebration. I’m glad that I could be a small part of making this happen. Good for you for standing up for your rights!
Dooa, what wonderful news! I hope you and your new wonderful husband have a fantastic celebration with your mom!
With our federal election coming up I hope the new government will increase staff in our immigration department so there is not so much waiting and fewer problems!
I wish you and your husband all the very best in your lives!
I am so happy for you and your mother. 🙂 she will love it here.
Congratulations, Dooa! I am so happy for you and for your mom.
May your wedding be a joyous event and your marriage a long, happy, and growthful relationship. Blessings.
Congratulations Dooa!!!
That is wonderful that together we were able to fight bureaucracy. I loved your words of wisdom on your blog about “the other” . Maybe someday we will all be so mixed up everywhere on the planet that there will be no “us” and “them” and we will all be “us”- and earthlings together….regardless of our silly borders, and all citizens of the world.
Kim
Congratuations and blessings on your marriage and on your Mom’s upcoming visit. Enjoy, I am so glad to have to signed your petition.
I am so happy that your Mom will have the opportunity to visit you here in Canada. Love can move mountains and clearly the world still has some some very kind and loving people left in it, who were moved and touched by your situation. I was moved by it certainly and am glad it had, while not the perfect ending you had wanted, a happy and fulfilling ending. I wish you a happy married life and I please convey to your Mom, that I welcome her to our beautiful country and I hope she experiences a wonderful stay here.
Regards, Sandra
Congratulations on your marriage! I am very happy to learn that your mother is coming to visit, albeit a bit late for the main event. If there is any country that has the ideals that you profess in your blog it is our beloved Canada. It’s not perfect, but it is getting there. All the best to all of you and everyone who made this joyous event happen.
I am so happy for you and your mom!
Smile and be happy, all the best!
Love,
Rose
Congratulations Doaa! So happy for you and your family. It was my honour to support your cause and your petition.
Glad to see that by signing your petition your mother is able to visit now.
Im very happy for you.
Many Blessings
Necia
Congrats hun! It’s too bad your mum missed the big day, but at least she gets to be with you not to long after.
– Krys