How Not To Handle a Severe Caffeine Addiction

1. Drink upwards of five espresso shots per day throughout the entire month of December because it is JUST SO DELICIOUS. And you have to take full advantage of the quality while you can, right? Because we all know the stuff on campus is equivalent to doing mud shooters.

2. Drink no coffee at all on your first day back at school. Because you’re too cool for withdrawal, right?

3. Also drink no water. Water bottles are for pansies.

4. Be extremely exhausted already because if a whole set of new courses and readings aren’t enough for you, your flight was delayed by three hours and you collapsed  made it back to your dorm seven hours before your first class.

This is what you should do instead:

1. Skip that two hour FIST screening because you are about to vomit all over your friends. Migraines are no joke, kids. Also, I’m sorry to all of you film buffs, but I can tell you right now that this course is on par with computer science for me. And I won’t even show you the bruise I got from that class.

(apparently when you bang your head into a wall every day while studying it leaves a mark)

2. GO DRINK SOME DELICIOUS COFFEE. If you find yourself in Edmonton, Alberta (not that I recommend it), hit up Credo Cafe on 104 st and Jasper ave. I’m not enough of a Vancouverite to properly recommend cafes but Elysian on fifth & Burrard makes my heart sing.

 

My Coded Soul: A Letter to Computer Science

So, hi. I deserve the Worst Blogger Ever award. I sort of have an excuse, though. My soul has quite literally been consumed by computer science for the past two months. Just take a look at this:

ComputerScience

By some magical miracle, though, I just finished our latest assignment, which is what brought me back to you lovely people. 🙂

Have you ever taken a course that makes you question everything about your existence? That makes you demonize everyone and everything involved with it, and has you absolutely 100% convinced that the professor’s sole purpose in life is to make you miserable and fail you?

Okay…so I might be a tad dramatic. But if you’re at UBC, I’m going to assume you’ve experienced something similar. I’ve mostly recovered from my the whole entire world hates me shtick, but there are still a couple of things that I just cannot wrap my head around.

1. First of all, lambda. Who honestly decided that naming a creepy mathematical / computer science symbol after a fuzzy, adorable animal was a good idea? I will never be able to listen to Mary the same way.

lambda

2. Harry Potter does not make everything better. I can’t believe I just said that – I thought those words would never come out of my mouth. But if you ask me to design a function that counts the number of wizards in an arbitrary-arity tree using generative recursion and lost-context accumulators? I’m not going to be happy about it, no matter who’s involved. Sorry, Dumbledore.

3. < Solving an obnoxiously difficult problem. I believe the first time this happened I texted my friend saying “I AM A GOD.” -> because see the above. If you can do that, you deserve major credit.

I could blab on about a whole heap of things that would make me laugh hysterically and mean absolutely nothing to you, so I’m going to stop there.

P.S. I just said “whole heap” without even thinking about it. Am I English yet?

Confessions of a Group Exercise Newbie (All the Free Things)!

Hi, my name is Emma and I like free stuff.

Free food (obviously), free hugs and FREE WORKOUT CLASSES! That one is a biggie. I definitely took advantage of the UBC rec open house this week and I am now here to tell you which ones are worth your ever-so valuable time.

ZUMBA. I would like to inform you that I had been to negative dance classes before this experience. I run – a lot. I occasionally lift things. I’ve been known to play sports and go to yoga. But DANCE?! Yeah not in this lifetime, buddy.  But by miracle of the powers that be, I actually showed up to the 6:30pm Zumba class on Monday evening. My thought process:

“I’m excited!”

“Wow this is complicated.”

“Are people looking at me?”

“I ROCK!”

“It’s over?!”

Even though you’ll find my picture next to “World’s Worst Dancer” in the dictionary I still loved this class. The instructor was fun and the time FLEW by! 6:30pm Monday/Wednesday @ SRC

Cycle Boot Camp: Because what else does one do on a Tuesday morning than wake up at 6am to go work out?! This was seriously the week of firsts – I had never been to a spin class before this! I am basically a genius because I picked the perfect one for my first time – only 25 minutes of spin before 25 minutes of ass-kicking shoulders/triceps/back. That superwoman feeling that lasts all day after working out in the morning = my jam so I may be a little biased. But this was the BOMB! 7am Tuesdays/Thursdays @ SRC

Belly Dancing: Yep…I actually got roped into this. While Zumba was more of a “shake it” workout, this was a full-on LEARN TO BE A BELLYDANCER class. I thought I sucked at Zumba?! This was pretty freaking hilarious. We’ve established that I am basically a joke when it comes to dancing and in a situation that technical…not a good combo. The teacher was really talented buuuuut I do not intend to return. One hour of “chest raises” in a room with windows for walls is enough for me. 6pm Wednesday @ Ponderosa

Early Riser Boot Camp: Like I said before. Early morning endorphins complete my life, so I knew before even showing up that this was for me. The instructor said that he went “easy” on us which is a little frightening considering this was a GOOD workout. It was a full-body circuit that we went through twice after a warmup and IT WAS SO FUN!! This was definitely my favourite. You can tell that the instructor SO knows what he is doing (he is super fit) and I love the morning workout crew. If it wasn’t such awkward timing with my class schedule I would 100% sign up. 7am Monday/Wednesday @ SRC.

Yoga will also be attended tonight! 7pm hatha @ Ponderosa. I am always trying to force myself to become a yogi and have failed more times than I can count…maybe this will be the day? I shall update.

Moral of the story: UBC REC ROCKS! No they aren’t paying me. But I had SO much fun this week trying out all the classes and not only feel like a million bucks, but have zero regrets about the million hot dogs/burgers consumed. (does it make it okay if they were free?!)

What You Really Need to Know About Your First Few Days on Campus

Bit of a ridiculous title, I know. But it gets the point across, and its true! This morning as I write this post, it is my third day on campus and while classes haven’t even started, I have DEFINITELY learned some important things about res life.

1. Don’t wear flats. Slash heels slash crappy shoes of any descriptionMove-in day may not be AS bad (unless you end up in a house with no elevators…sucks to be you) but for the most part there are volunteers helping you move your stuff and there’s not a ridiculous amount of walking. Also, if you’re like me, you will spend 4 hours setting up your room and making it perfect – i.e. dorm coffee breaks and sitting on the bed. But after that, be prepared to do ALL. THE. WALKING. My first full day on campus I walked 18 000 steps after my usual morning run. I think it’s pretty obvious that my legs and feet despise me today. And for the record, 2/3 of those steps were in crappy flats and the rest flip-flops. Not my finest life decision. Just choose the converse over wedges as you wander and explore and all will be fine and dandy.

2. Be wary of heavy foods in the dining hall. Case in point: this morning for breakfast, I had cottage cheese with berries, and then added a crap ton of frozen mango. Well, the mango turned out to be pretty gross AND made my meal cost $7! That may not sound like a ton, but I figured out I need to spend around $10-$13/day to not run out of my meal dollars SO that is not going to work for me. Worst case scenario I live on oats and PB made with my dorm kettle for a few weeks…but really, just avoid heavy food.

3. Don’t apologize! Okay, if you run straight into someone or turn into a maniac on them, you should apologize. But you should never apologize for being yourself. 🙂 It’s cheesy but SO TRUE. Almost everyone on my floor went to this frat toga party the first night and it was the LAST thing I wanted to do. Move-in was long and draining, not to mention the fact that I am probably the only university student in existence that doesn’t like partying. But I told myself I HAD to and felt all weird and lame. Newsflash: You moved out! Do whatever the heck you want and don’t apologize for it. Unless, obviously, you really should. Common sense, that’s all I’m asking.

I have no advice on classes yet – that insanity starts Wednesday. Computer science is required for my program, so…yeah, pray for me. Thanks for reading!