To: Catherine Yu, Technical Writing 301 Student
From: Jenny Li, Technical Writing 301 Student
Date: October 18, 2021
Subject: Peer Review for Research Proposal
The proposal “Introducing Mid-term Student Evaluations of Teaching to Increase Opportunities for Student Feedback at UBC” is informative, concisely written, and thought provoking. It was a pleasure to read this report. Below are some suggestions for improvement:
First Impressions:
This proposal is straight-forward and concise. An interesting issue is brought and supported through logically explained as to why it is an important issue. The proposal is overall well-organized, with a clear solution to the problem.
Organization:
- Layout is neat and proper headings are used
- Paragraphs are not too long
- Appropriate separation of paragraphs are appropriately used
- Flow of ideas appears natural and easy to follow
Expression:
- Overall, conciseness is a strength in this proposal. Nevertheless, some sentences can be improved in terms of consiceness. For example, the sentence “Term-end student evaluations are one of the most important tools for professors and teaching assistants (TAs) to receive feedback on their quality of teaching and determine if particular teaching strategies are effective or not.” can be changed to “…and determine the effectiveness of particular teaching strategies”.
- A professional tone is used consistently throughout the proposal. However, some “I” pronouns can be reduced. For example:
- “I plan to pursue the following areas of inquiry” can be changed to “the following areas of inquiry will be pursued”
- “Those willing to participate in my survey…” can be changed to “Those willing to participate in this survey…”
Content:
- The assignment meets all requirements and amount of content is sufficient.
- The introduction sparks interest for the reader and an intended reader of the report is provided.
- Solution and methods sections are thorough, without being too wordy.
- Some more transitions can be used. For instance, in the Statement of Problems section, the part “In large university classroom settings…” is an additional issue to the first part, so adding a transition like “Additionally” or “Moreover” may help avoid confusion.
Grammar and Typos:
- In the introductions section, the last sentence is missing punctuation
Concluding Comments:
This proposal effectively demonstrates the value of mid-term student evaluations. The proposal is interesting, informative, well-organized, and free of major errors. To summarize, the following minimal edits can be made to increase the impact of this proposal:
- The proposal can be further to reduce wordiness.
- The usage of “I” pronouns may be used more minimally to increase professionalism
- Adding necessary transitions to reduce confusion and increase readability
- Proof reading for minimal punctuation errors
Overall, it was a pleasure to read your proposal. Should you have questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Leave a Reply