Peer review of Determining Feasibility of Improving the Accessibility of Hybrid Learning

To: Noah Saini, Student of English 301

From: Lea Ang Salamanca, Student of English 301

Date: November 19, 2021

Subject: Peer Review of Determining Feasibility of Improving the Accessibility of Hybrid Learning at UBCO’s Campuses

Your peer-review for “Determining Feasibility of Improving the Accessibility of Hybrid Learning at UBCO’s Campuses” is complete and includes overall impressions and notes for each section of the report. Your questions are welcome.

First Impressions

• This draft has all the necessary parts stated in the instructions for this assignment.
• The lay-out of the report is visually appealing and easy to read.
• Adding labels of titles on the figures enhances the readability of the tables and allows the reader to search the report quickly.
• The MLA citations for the websites are missing the dates accessed, and replacing the “References” heading to “Works Cited” will make the document comply with the MLA formatting style.

Abstract

• The abstract mostly encapsulates the content of the report.
• Expanding the sentence “in-person learning has components that are difficult to replace such as …” and adding a short sentence about what students like about online learning will improve the abstract’s clarity.
• Writing some advantages of increasing funding and accessibility of hybrid learning for UBCO that is found in the conclusion will make the abstract engaging for the reader.

Introduction

• The introduction provides a good definition of hybrid learning.
• Avoiding big chunks of text helps improve the readability of this section. Paragraph two may be information that the reader already knows and may be unnecessary in this section.

Data Section

• The survey includes relevant questions such as student acceptance and usage and faculty acceptance and usage of the hybrid learning model.
• The layout of the tables is clear, and the visuals contain essential information that the reader can use in evaluating the need to improve the accessibility of hybrid learning.
• The organization of the headings is logical.

Conclusion and Recommendations

• This section contains a good summary of the benefits of online and in-person learning.
• The recommendations are comprehensive and include necessary details.

Concluding Comments

• Overall, this report draft contains comprehensive data and analysis of the feasibility of improving the accessibility of hybrid learning at UBCO.
• Here are some suggestions that will encourage the reader to implement the recommendations of this report:

 

• • Writing with a positive tone. For example, the fourth sentence in the abstract can say, “Due to the positive support of students of hybrid learning, increasing accessibility of hybrid learning by investing in training, improving policies, flexibility, support, and research can increase enrolment at UBCO. Stating how this report benefits UBCO will keep the reader’s attention and encourage action.

 

• • Editing the fourth paragraph of the introduction by removing the challenges encountered in making this report will give this section a more confident tone. Consider removing these parts of the sentences: “Given the challenges of scope, time, and student participation” in the second sentence and removing the words “although limited” in the third sentence. Transferring the challenges and limitations to the recommendations section by stating, “conducting a new study with a bigger sample size is beneficial in exploring this topic further” focuses on encouraging action instead of highlighting challenges.

 

• • Avoiding imperative words. In the third paragraph of the introduction, consider deleting the latter part of the sentence that says, “it would be expected that the school’s administration could act upon the recommendations.” This deletion will make the sentence favourable to the reader.

 

• • Revising the verbs in the recommendations section by replacing the imperative verbs with informative words by adding the -ing at the end of the verbs. For example, replacing the words have, delve, train, and so on and changing these words to having, delving, training, etc. This simple removal of imperative verbs makes the report informative instead of giving orders.

 

• When editing for the final draft, staying in the present tense when possible is recommended. For example, in the data section, under Student Acceptance and Usage, updating the section that says, “81% of students stated that” to “81% of student states that” will keep the report in the present tense.
• Whenever possible, using an active voice instead of a passive voice reduces word count.

Thank you for the opportunity to review this work. The editing recommendations are from Tips for writing a first draft and The You Attitude and Reader-Centered Writing, available in the Instructor’s blog. If you have any questions, please send me an email at lholdo00@@student.ubc.ca.

Here is the link to the report draft: Noah Saini- Formal Report Draft