Name of the Reviewer: Madeleine Leroux
Author’s Name: Harsha Bhamra
Title of the Expanded Definition: Hypothalamus
Three Questions That Came to Mind:
- What exactly do nuclei do?
- How do I find out what my recommended amount of sleep is?
- Do eating disorders cause hypothalamus dysfunction? Or does hypothalamus dysfunction cause eating disorders?
The definition was fairly clear, and upon my first read I did understand the material for the most part. I have very little knowledge about psychology, brains, and neuroscience, so I enjoyed that the definition wasn’t overly technical. I had a few questions which I’ve addressed below, but I believe I understand the content of the definition. I wouldn’t suggest any major revisions.
Comments about Purpose
The purpose was concise and clear. I found the project did not stray from the purpose.
Comments about Audience
As I mentioned above, I’m not very familiar with technical terms involving the brain. For the most part I found the definition very beginner friendly. However, there were a couple terms that I wished had been expanded on. For example, when describing the etymology of hypothalamus, you mention it sits below the “thalamus”, which I assume is another part of the brain. Just creating some context for what the “thalamus” would’ve been greatly appreciated. For example just saying the thalamus is in charge of “x” function.
The other word I was unfamiliar with was “hypophysis”. It’s one of the functionalities of the hypothalamus, but I have no idea what that is or what it means.
I did really enjoy how straight forward you were otherwise with what the functions of the regions do. Those concepts were easy to grasp.
Comments about Organization
Methods of Expansion
Etymology: As I mentioned above if you were to give a brief explanation of the thalamus, I would find the etymology expansion useful. I was also wondering if you needed the “coined” in German part because you mention that “hypo” comes from the Greek language.
Operating Principle: I found this expansion technique worked appropriately. I enjoyed learning how the hypothalamus worked and functioned. Examples were clear enough that a beginner in this topic could understand.
Use of Visuals: The diagram was great. It was clearly labelled, however it took a little bit to find the regions mentioned. I noticed they were inside the dotted circle. Perhaps guide the viewer to this area right away!
Examples: Examples were clear and explained further the use of the hypothalamus.
There was a clear ending, and I like that you ended the definition with something the reader could act upon. I knew from the first sentence that the definition was about the hypothalamus, but I only get from the context of the rest of the definition that it is a part of the brain. I think including your formal sentence definition directly after the etymology would help clarify what a hypothalamus for the reader.
Overall Final Impressions
I think including the formal sentence definition would help improve the definition. Otherwise, I thought the most effective element of the document was the approachable language. Brain terminology can be intimidating because it’s so vast. Keeping simpler language allows a reader to enjoy the topic without being scared away.
Leave a Reply