To: Bara’a Alabbas
From: Samuel Kobierski
Date: February 03, 2019
Subject: English 301 – Assignment 2:1 – Peer Review
Dear Ms. Alabbas,
I have thoroughly reviewed your post, Formal Report Proposal, which details the topic you have chosen to investigate for your Formal Report. Your topic, Making Costco Parking More Efficient, is a topic that I know all to well. As a Costco Wholesale customer who has shopped at nearly ten different stores, I have experienced the stress and antagonization that is parking at Costco at each and every store.
I would like to make the following comments on and recommendations for your proposal:
- Statement of Problem:
- Your problem statement exaggerates the problem by featuring events that I would believe are less of a problem, physical fights and minor car accidents, rather than the loss of business and unnecessary stress on customers.
- Methods:
- I would recommend adding to your methods the investigation of proven solutions to parking issues. Maybe a solution exists that can be modified to suit the needs of Costco Wholesale.
- I would also look into why Costco Wholesale has not rectified this problem previously. Is there any incentive for them to not to invest in parking infrastructure.
- Grammar:
- Introduction:
- Your statement, “Costco’s high foot traffic continues to soar as cities build new developments and citizens move into central areas. This leads to brawls, car accidents, and lost time when customers search for parking.” It is unclear to me what This refers to? I am unsure that the first sentence correctly leads the second sentence.
- Proposed Solution:
- Your statement, “In addition to a parkade, Costco could install sensors that track available parking spaces on each level, in order to help simplify the overall parking and shopping experience. would increase parking space without sacrificing additional land.” It appears that there is an unnecessary period between experience and would?
- Introduction:
I look forward to viewing your report when it is complete.
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