Peer Review of Mahsa’s Application Package Draft

From: Razvan Nesiu

To: Mahsa Ehtemam

Date: March 29, 2019

Subject: Peer Review of Application Package Draft

Dear Mahsa,

Thank you for submitting your application package. I read it a few times, and then I compiled a list of suggestions so that you may improve your assignment.

Resume

1. Organization
   • The resume is well organized.
2. Content
   • The content is well thought and it defines you as a strong candidate.
   • Since the job is in Canada, a 2 pages Resume is still acceptable, so all the working experience you included is definitely relevant. However, you can probably expand a bit more on certain areas (eg: explain in which years you did get Dean List).
   • The Objective statement should not be different for each company but instead, it should always be the same.
3. Layout
   •  The structure of your Resume is clean and well put together.
4. Writing & Grammar
   • I advise you to use Grammarly or another pair of eyes to double check your paper.
   • The fragment from the objective statement “and we all bring each other to the reach our potential” should be read without using the article “the”.

Cover Letter

1. Organization
   • The cover letter’s organization is exceptional.
2. Content
   • The content is exemplary.
3. Layout
   • The layout abides the standard rules for writing a cover letter.
4. Writing & Grammar
   • The third sentence of the second paragraph has a mistake. Instead of “efficiency in contribution of team efforts” it should be “efficiency in the contribution to team efforts”.

Letters of Recommendation Request

1. Organization
   • The letters of recommendation all have a concise and well-organized structure.
2. Content
   • It is good that you started writing about your most recent job first. Recommenders and employers like to see that your letter has a well-defined structure, and they prefer it when events are organized in inverse chronological order.
3. Layout
   • Standard, but flawless.
4. Writing & Grammar
   • Counselors should be spelled with a single l.
   • The first sentence in the second paragraph of the letter to Mrs. Jiwani should read “to gain” instead of “gain”.
   • Sales person should be spelled together as one word.
   • In your last letter, in the last sentence of the second paragraph, it should read “career in pharmaceutical sales” instead of  “career of pharmaceutical sales”.

Conclusion

Overall, a well-organized package and a very successful application. I hope you will be able to follow the job of your dreams!