This was a big weekend.

Musically, you have Justin Timberlake’s first performance in 7 years. To put that into context: the last time he was touring, I was just getting into high school, desperately grasping for some “indie cred,” pretending I didn’t spend every night dancing to SexyBack, and every morning trying to hit the high notes in My Love. You also have the release of My Bloody Valentines first album in 22 years. To put that into context: The last time they released album was only 5 months after my birth; flash forward and I’m drinking beer, writing a marketing assignment, and a million years away from the guitar that I used to call my home. But enough about that.

This was also a big weekend because of the Superbowl, and I, like the rest of the western world, tuned in for a couple of reasons: I rather like the 49ers (20%); the commercials are the bomb (20%); the perfected excess that is the half-time show has always served as a little bit of metaphor for consumer culture (40%); and any excuse to share a twelve pack with my bro is worth sacrificing a the lifespan of an apple battery product (can you do that math?).

Anyways, I was disappointed by the final score, but also by the turn out as far as commercials go this year. I don’t think I can blame that on any one ad in particular, or even say that the quality inferior to past years, but because nothing could hold it’s own against my favorite ad this year. Chrysler made me understand the pride and toils of a farmer, but I dont want to be one. Doritos made me laugh, but I still don’t want any. Godaddy made me cry, but for all the wrong reasons. Anyways, without further ado…