In The Impatient by Djaïli Amadou Amal, one of the main ideas throughout the novel is that women are constantly told to be patient, but patience does not actually improve their lives. Instead, patience becomes a way to control women and force them to accept forced marriage, violence, and polygamy. Through the stories of Ramla, Hindou, and Safira, the novel shows how women are expected to suffer quietly and just accept whatever happens to them.
Ramla’s story was the most striking for me. In her society, marriage is treated as a family alliance rather than a relationship based on love. Ramla wants to marry Aminou, the man she loves, but she is forced to marry Alhadji Issa instead. Her father says, “Marriage is not just a matter of feelings. On the contrary, it’s first and foremost an alliance between two families.” (p. 26). Here, Ramla’s feelings don’t matter and marriage is treated as a business arrangement. Ramla also describes her tense relationship with her father by saying, “a girl cannot approach her father, a girl cannot embrace her father.” (p. 42). This shows how distant and authoritative fathers are in this society, and it explains why Ramla cannot refuse the marriage or even talk to her father about what she wants.
Hindou’s story is the most extreme in my opinion and shows just how patient a woman is supposed to be in this society. She is forced to marry her cousin who is abusive and violent. He drinks, disappears, and one night, he comes home drunk, bangs on her door, forces her to come out, and beats her, giving her a black eye. The family and Moubarak also don’t acknowledge this: “[they] avoided meeting the gaze of my black eye. It was nothing but a misunderstanding. Yet another one.” (p. 64). Hindou has no choice but to endure the marriage and his violence with no option of leaving.
Safira’s story shows the emotional impact of polygamy. She is Alhadji Issa’s first wife, and Ramla becomes the second. One of the saddest moments is when Safira says, “Through the window, I hear the griot praising the beauty of my new co-wife. These words pierce my heart.” (p. 101). She has to listen to people celebrate her husband’s new marriage while she just sits inside and listens. She cannot complain or stop it, she just has to accept it. Later, Safira basically convinces herself that this situation is fine because she believes Alhadji Issa will eventually get bored and come back to her after the honeymoon period. She stays mostly for the sake of her children, which shows that patience in the novel is sometimes more about survival than acceptance.
By the end of the novel, Ramla is the only one who leaves her situation, while Safira stays for her children and Hindou continues to suffer. The novel suggests that change only begins when women stop being patient and start refusing the roles forced onto them.
Discussion question: Why does Ramla leave while Safira stays, and does the novel suggest that one of these choices is better than the other?
2 replies on “The Impatient – patience is DEFINITELY NOT a virtue”
“ Later, Safira basically convinces herself that this situation is fine because she believes Alhadji Issa will eventually get bored and come back to her after the honeymoon period.”
It shows how there is a tension even between women and there are not many safe bonds, which makes the violence goes on.
See you on Wednesday
Julián.
I think Ramla leaving is a sign of her escaping the system enforced on women as a whole. Since the beginning she was the only one who openly rebelled or rather had thoughts different than the rest that were outwardly expressed. So her deciding to leave was something she needed to do since living in such a situation for the rest of the life would truly be miserable. Sometimes “patience” was bound to run out. Sure, there are consequences to her actions like no access to money, or being shunned from her family but I think that’s something she’s willing to let go to gain something she never had. Freedom.
Secondly, I think Safira decided to stay because she did love her husband. Even if those feelings changed, she wasn’t educated like Ramla- she didn’t have an out or an after to sustain herself if she thought of leaving. She decided to adapt and as first wife, she wanted to keep her life of luxury and her husband’s love. She knew her place was certain and the other future co-wives would come and go.