Dear Diary:

6 years old

My teacher doesn’t like me. I got dragged to the office today. I was sad and scared. I’m not sure what I did wrong. I’m not sure anyone in my class likes me, and I’m not sure how to make friends. My baby brother is so cute. He just got home from the hospital. I want to hold him so badly, but my mom says not to touch him. I sure would like to. He’s real cute.  My dad and my new mom had him. My real mom died. I don’t know anything except she died. I bet she loved me a lot. I bet she was the prettiest lady in the world. I bet she’d never get mad at me. My big sister is so much older than me. She’s seven. I try and get her to play with me, and I try to make her laugh.  We have the same dead mommy. But our dad didn’t die. He married my new mom. She wants me to call her mom. She has a nice son named Chris. He has a different daddy. He has red hair and he is kind. I like him. He plays with me. I love our house in Armstrong. I wish my new mom would hug me and play with me. My daddy is funny, but I think he loves my big sister more than me. He bought her a shirt that said “Daddy’s little girl,” mine just had a picture of a kitty on it. I really wanted him to give me a shirt like hers. My dad can get super angry. I’m going to run outside and play. There is a corn field right by my house. I love to play in it, and there is a big cement parking lot I run on, and drag my wagon and Chris pretends to be the horse, and he pulls the wagon with a skipping rope.

Dear Diary:

9 years old

We moved to Prince George, and I am going to a new school. It is the meanest school I could imagine. Today the kids on the monkey bars screamed at me to get off and go away. Big girls were scaring me. I have been here for months, and I don’t have any friends. My teacher can’t stand me. She sends me into the hallway almost every day. I have to walk home every day. Today I had to go to the bathroom so badly, and I peed my pants running down the road. My house is kind of scary right now. My dad lifted it up, and he’s making a basement. We have to walk across a narrow bridge to get inside, and sometimes the house shifts while we are in it. It was my birthday a few days ago and my step mom didn’t make me a cake. My sister tried and it fell all to pieces. I cried, but no one even cared. My dad was screaming and yelling last night, and I stayed in my room. He spanked me today because I lied. He spanked me with the belt. I was super scared. I hid in the corner of the bedroom, but he kept lashing the belt at me. I don’t think he loves me. I will try to help him love me. My family goes to church every Sunday. Sunday mornings are usually grumpy in our house because we are all trying to get ready. My mom and dad fight a lot, but when we get to church my mom looks happy. We have to play outside a LOT because mom likes to clean the house. We have a very clean house. And she likes to cook us good dinners. I would love to go in the house sometimes, but we have to stay outside and play until supper. The neighbor boy caught me and Chris on his land, playing in the forest, and he told us to get off his property. I hate this place. There’s a boy at school that hates me. His name is Rob. I keep telling on him, but no one does anything. He scares me. I am going to tell him to watch out because my dad will be so angry and talk to his dad if he doesn’t stop. My dad used to be a Sherriff. My dad is not scared of anything.

Dear Diary:

16 years old

Sweet 16. My dad and mom are split up (which is a relief). My dad moved out, which is good because he scares me so much. He smashed a lot of things before he left, and now he’s mad at us kids. I just want the fighting to stop. Mom is super depressed, and she is out a lot. Chris moved away to live with his real dad—I miss him. Is he really my brother? I really thought he was. He’s the best. M        y little brother is driving me crazy. Last night when he was asleep I slipped into his room and whispered in his ear that he will be kind and good from now on. It didn’t work. I am home alone with him. Mom leaves me a lot of chores, while he drives me crazy. I don’t know what to do. I am relieved we don’t have those horrible uncomfortable dinners when dad and mom fight and then dad gets super mad. I got a part in the Drama Club Play at school and my mom says she doesn’t like the changes she sees in me. She thinks I should quit. No way! I’m sad. I like my small bedroom downstairs. I wish my sister had more time for me. We aren’t allowed to talk at bed time. I wish I could visit her in her room and talk to her more, but mom says to go to our own rooms. I put up my real mom’s picture. I don’t care if my step mom doesn’t like it up in my room. My real mom gave birth to me; and I don’t care anymore if it hurts mom’s feelings. I want my real mom’s picture up!

Dear Diary:

47 years old

I’ve made so many mistakes, and I have gone through agony; but I have learned from the pain. I have learned that too many rules are horrible and unnecessary, I’ve learned I need to stop being so angry, and start letting lots go. I value love now more than ever. All the rules, rules, rules and religious laws are a thing of my past. Now I realize that life has natural consequences. I will reap what I sow. I still make mistakes, but I am better. My dad disowned me years ago. I tried all my life to get his love, finally I realized he is not a father. My step mom has become my friend, and I have grown in forgiveness towards her. I appreciate her instilling the value of good meals and a clean home, but I will never be as clean as her. My sister is my rock. My little brother is wild as ever, but we love each other. Chris will always be my brother. He’s still kind as ever. I live far from all my family. I have moved and moved and moved. Home is now having a happy, grateful day of peace, and I try to have as many as possible. (I am not always successful.) I value love enough to (more often) refuse to fight over little things. I appreciate love, because I have lost many loves over the years. Home is my work which I love. Home is just me being happy day by day.

Kim Bellwood

Every time I told my story it changed a little–not the impetus of the story, but details. If I continued to tell the story over and over I am sure I would embellish in different spots and edit in others. I was trying to convey that fear is what brought evil into the world, and this occurred between husband and wife and spread throughout the world. It is like a fairy tale as it revolves around marriage, as many fairy tales do. Anyone who has been in a relationship can relate to how fear (disguised as insecurity, jealousy, criticism, etc) often deteriorates the foundation of a relationship and can lead to destruction. I wanted to convey evil happening in a most simple way. A relationship destroying the purity of the world seems so simple, yet in it’s simplicity seems profoundly plausible. In the Christian story Lucifer brought evil into the world by his pride. I wanted to try and convey that fear is even deeper, and arguably the root of all evil. I will leave you with one of my favourite quotes which happens to be from Star Wars.

This blog will be a commentary of Chamberlin’s last chapter, “Ceremonies,” from his book, If this is Your Land, Where are your Stories?” I will examine spiritualism while exploring Chamberlin’s ideas of borders, where suddenly two different beliefs seem to unite and make sense together.

When I first read of the Gitksan’s story of the grizzly Mediik who ran down the mountain in protest of the people’s deteriorating respect for their lands, I was reminded of Moses running down the mountain in rage because his  people had begun worshipping idols, rather than the God of the Jews. Mediik and Moses both were spiritual instruments that brought destruction in order to teach their people. Moses, in his fury smashed the tablets he had painstakenly waited for, and the people had dire consequences of continuing to live an uncomfortable life in the desert. The Jewish God is believed to have continually brought destruction to teach lessons and punish people. Just a few examples are the earthquakes, turning people into salt, sacrifices,  famine,  plague, and the flood.

I was brought up to believe these stories from the Bible were true. They were not metaphors, but actually literal stories.  Chamberlin brings up the idea of myths and whether the Greeks believed them.  He explains: “Yes and no.” I have embraced that kind of belief. Are biblical stories true? Yes and no. Similarly, are indigenous stories true? Yes and no. I am convinced there is truth within every belief system, but there is also the limitations of this physical world. We are not fully spiritual, but we do touch upon the spiritual realm. Do all religions and beliefs? I think so. Are they all true? Yes and no. I am happy to rest on the gray side. This resting place has allowed me to be more accepting of diversity, although at the same time it is very difficult to eat a dinner with someone who eats their peas from a knife.

Watching my friends and family still embrace a literal belief of the Bible is like that awkward dinner, as I want them to have an epiphany (as though I know for certain) and realize that  Christianity  is a belief system weaved together by time and culture, and not literal (or so I believe).  The belief I embraced for 36 years (born again Christianity), now is absurd to me. I look at my family and friends and wonder how such educated, intelligent people can believe in a God that demands praise and worship, a God who destroys those who do not follow his commands, and a God who will eternally destroy all those who do not believe the ideals of the New Testament. I am left to simply accept that their beliefs are real to them, and I have no business arguing with them or discrediting them. There are truths in what they believe; I believe there is a spiritual realm they reach in their beliefs, and throughout the world humans connect with this spiritual world through varied religions. Many stories of the bible truly move me, and propagate a message of faith and love that is very beautiful. Am I comfortable with exclusivity of religion? No. Do I like that ultimately they believe I am not saved and will spend eternity in hell. No. But then I just accept that it is their truth and I am thankful for the stories (even from the Bible) which teach us all.  Chamberlain puts it well when he says, “We need to keep this contradiction alive when we think of other people’s stories as well as our own, and be careful not to discredit either the yes or the no”(236).

Why should I be careful not to disregard the beliefs of others, even though they are strange and different? Because, as Chamberlain explains, there are borders which occur and show humans that we and all our stories are united (222). This summer I had a born again friend question me about my lack of belief in the religion I was brought up in. I reluctantly entered the conversation, and warned that it may make her feel less close to me if I were to really share my feelings. She wanted to talk anyways, and I treaded carefully through our discussion, knowing that her belief was as firm as my disbelief. We reached a border moment near the end of our talk, when she implored of me, “Didn’t you ever have an encounter with God?” That was a tricky question. Of course I have, but not from her paradigm. There is something in this universe that is amazing, but I simply cannot define God, nor do I even know what I mean by God. I told her I believe she touches upon a higher power, and I also believe that how people get to this enlightened place is not important, but that we are stay open to love in the universe. These borders occur in nature, when ones heart fills with appreciation and a sense of wonder bordering on worship. The borders are revealed when we look at a honeycomb or a spiders web and see their intricacy. This sense of border moment (or intersection as penned by Paterson) occurs when we rise and sing a national anthem, sensing that the ceremony has helped us reach a magical border place of unity. Chamberlain says, “…Them and Us is inevitable. But choosing between is like choosing between reality and the imagination, or between being marooned on an island and drowning in the sea. Deadly, and ultimately a delusion”(239).

Canada and more specifically BC embraces indigenous teaching in schools. There are videos and books called Raven Tales that my young students watch and enjoy. Last year I had children ask me if the stories in the videos were true. Did Raven create the world, and did the first humans come out of a clam shell? I was a little bit unsure how to answer! Should I say no? Do Aboriginal people think their stories are literally true? A fairy tale has so much truth in it. Is it true? Is Santa true? ( I could never say out loud that he is not). I think indigenous stories are embraced because the First Nations people do not push their beliefs on others. I have known many Aboriginal people, and they have never come across as believing their stories are the only way to truth. Perhaps that is why we are telling them in school. This is why we allow fairy tales. One day I hope the wonderful, captivating stories of the bible are told in public schools, but that may have to wait until minds are broadened and less dogmatic.

Works Cited

Goodsalt.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Sept. 2016. Image.

Raven’s Tale: The Haida Creation Story.  www.yodigo.tv/lesson/view/12. Web. 17 Sept. 2016.

Hello everyone!

My name is Kim Bellwood. I have just set up my first blog ever. Slowly I am starting to understand the technical lingo, for example: blog, vlog, hyperlink, and tons more! From what I have read about this course, and watching Erika’s vlog, I believe this course will strengthen our ability to think critically about the stories we have been told, the ones we haven’t been told (and why), and the stories we hope for in our future (Canadians in particular).
I grew up in British Columbia, and started in college in 1987 taking classes toward my Education degree. I ended up finishing my Bachelor of Education (two years) at the University of Saskatchewan. I convocated in 2002, taught for three years in Saskatchewan, and I am currently in my eleventh year teaching in British Columbia. I tell you this to explain a huge difference I noticed between the two province’s curricula.

In Saskatchewan it was mandatory to take three credits in Native Studies. Without this, one cannot complete an Education Degree (this was 16 years ago and still is required). The only course the university offered was six credits, so I took a full year course exploring First Nation’s people in Canada. When I started teaching, Aboriginal information was embedded throughout the curriculum. This link I am highlighting is from the Saskatoon school board and states that Indigineous awareness and education has been a part of Saskatchewan schooling for over thirty years.

I had never learned so much about Aboriginal people as I did learning and teaching in Saskatchewan. As a matter of fact, I do not remember ever learning about indigenous people while going through all my twelve plus years of schooling in British Columbia.

When I moved back to British Columbia in 2006 and started teaching high school English and Social Studies, I was surprised to learn how little information was taught and how little students knew about the Native people of Canada.

Last year, in (2015) British Columbia announced a new curriculum which has a tremendous increase of focus on First Nation’s people. Here is an article from the Globe and Mail addressing BC’s changes.

It is vital that indigenous people’s stories be told in Canadian history. As in the timeline seen above, for too long Native Canadians have been largely left out of the Canadian story. I am sure this course will provoke me to understand and think about Canadian literature with a broadened mindset.

Canadian History Events Timeline.britishlibrary.typepad.co.uk/.a/6a00d8341c464853ef017d42b6dc54970c-400wi.

Dirk Meissner. New BC Curriculum will have Aboriginal Focus. The Canadian Press, 17 Jun. 2015, www.theglobeandmail.com/news/british-columbia/new-bc-school-curriculum-will-have-aboriginal-focus/article25003962/. Accessed 12 Sep. 2016.

Why do we include First Nations and Metis Content and Perspectives? Saskatoon Public Schools, 04 Jan. 2013, schools.spsd.sk.ca/curriculum/blog/2013/01/04/why-do-we-include-first-nations-and-metis-content-and-perspectives/. Accessed 12 September 2016.