Less than a week left before the school year is officially over.
Such mixed feelings, especially when I think of how I felt at the beginning of the year.
I was afraid of moving to a new place without my friends, afraid of not making friends as close as my old ones. I panicked every time the slightest thing went wrong (and of course things always go wrong). When classes didn’t turn out the way I expected, I thought I’d made a huge mistake in coming to UBC. I didn’t feel like I belonged. I seriously considered leaving. I was bored out of my wits and simultaneously stressed out all of the time. I was desperately homesick and hung onto everything that reminded me of the way things used to be.
Now I’ve moved from juggling papers and exams to studying and packing. I felt my first wave of homesickness in the longest time today. I discovered T&T sells the same shrimp crackers that I smuggled over from HK. (Although I swear these are smaller, they’re better than nothing.) I’m envious of the people who are going home already. I’m sad to say goodbye to people I’ve met and befriended over the past nine months, as I’ve found out that you can go a long time without seeing someone these days, but it’s also so easy to bump into someone months later and chat anyway. I’m excited about moving out myself, though I’ll miss being able to walk right out of my door to knock on someone else’s and get dinner together. I’m anxious about travelling to Herstmonceux but also hoping that I’ll make the most of the experience. I’m a little regretful that I’m only home for two weeks this summer, but looking forward to that short, precious time so much. I have so many plans for the rest of my summer back here and even more for all the things I’m going to do next year.
I can no longer imagine doing my degree in only three years. Three years is simply not enough for all the things I want to accomplish by the end of my time here.
