This early Easter has truly been an excellent affair. We may have just had Reading Week, but I couldn’t help but welcome the four-day long weekend. For one thing, I celebrated my birthday. At this time of the year, the realization that I am alive always hits hardest. I got to be born. This makes me so happy when I stop to think about it. I complain so much and worry about the smallest things, but when I sweep those aside, I remember the important things and am just so glad. “Glad” doesn’t say nearly enough. I’m glad, glad, glad.
Tomorrow, we’re going back to school. I’m in for a big crunch from now until the end of term, especially because I didn’t get as much work as I’d have liked to do over the Easter break, but I’m ready to get down to it. A break from hard work really is what I needed. I’ve spent the last week with some of my favourite people in the world — my parents visited so the family was together again; a secondary school friend came up from Seattle to visit; I met up with some new (i.e. UBC) friends whom I hadn’t seen in two months; I talked to several of my old secondary school friends on the phone and on Skype — and I’ve tidied my room almost to my complete satisfaction so that it is no longer stressing me out.
I’ve done some hard thinking about what I want to do with my life, and while I still don’t know what I want to do after I graduate, I know a little more about what’s important to me and what kinds of experiences I want to be having at university. Part of it is acknowledging that I don’t know, that none of this is really set in stone, but they’re what I think I like right now so I will try and get new experiences in those areas I like and go from there. More importantly, I’m identifying bit by bit what sort of person I would like to be, something I’ve always needed to aim for to feel happy, and which I lost when I moved here.
Maybe I’m just very slow at adapting, but the best thing that happened to me this weekend was feeling happy. I’ve been content and joyful and satisfied and delighted and amused and hyperactive and cheerful and all sorts of other positive emotions (as well as many negative ones), but this is the first time I’ve stopped having wild mood swings and stabilised enough to feel genuinely, peacefully happy. It’s good to know that I can live happily here as well as in Hong Kong, especially since Vancouver is very much the place I want to make my home, now, and after I graduate, if possible.
