Note: This blog post is unrelated to the blog assignment for COMM465

In response to the string of sexual assaults happening on the campus I love so dearly, Facebook has exploded with respectful discussion and engaging conversation, as well as petty arguments. When I made a post geared at sharing some safety strategies, I received some comments which made me uncomfortable and a little upset. I felt as if my good intentions were being overshadowed by the need to educate people about rape culture and victim blaming — a topic which I thought I was fully aware of.

As I read through posts on the event page for Take Back the Night UBC, I reached a moment of sudden clarity — a realization hidden amongst all the emotion and lingo. I don’t know how it came to me, but I hope to be able to share this epiphany. So without further ado…

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To the men of UBC,

I know you care about what is happening right now. I know that your primary concern is the safety of those you care about. This is why you are telling people that Safewalk is now available until 4am. This is why you are willing to be woken up at any hour to walk someone home. What you are doing is great, so keep it up. Now let’s talk about rape culture.

We have what is known as “male privilege“. That sounds terrible because we believe in gender equality, yet it still exists. As men with this privilege, we feel offended when we read something like:

We demand this continued use of violence against women be connected to men…

because we know that we personally would never consider assaulting a woman. It’s not your fault that we have this privilege. Instead, what this means is that we need to take responsibility over challenging and changing the way we think and act. Be open to the discussion and the learning process.

Please don’t let yourself be distanced or discouraged when you read something that makes you uncomfortable or alienated for being male. You feel uncomfortable because you are talking about the right things.

We are all of one vision. To reclaim our beautiful campus as the safe and welcoming educational institution we know it to be. So let us be united in proving that sexual assault and rape culture is not something we stand for. Even if that means feeling hurt a few times along the way.

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Edit (10:35am) – Thank you to those of you who read my late night musings and provided additional things to think about. It goes to show that even when you spend time to refine your sentences, there can still be things you are unaware of. I am thankful that my friends are respectful and can provide me with more opportunities to challenge my own thought. While my natural reaction was to feel slightly hurt that I was unable to fully catch my language, I now embrace that dissonance because I know I have much more to learn than I have to share.

I would like to call attention to the sentence “reclaim our beautiful campus as the safe and welcoming educational institution we know it to be”. The fact of the matter is that SASC (Sexual Assault Support Centre) was contacted 425 times in 2011-2012, and just because there aren’t people jumping out of  wooded areas doesn’t mean that sexual assaults are not happening. It is a very real thing.