Assignment 1:5
by maya sumel
The Young Girl’s Story of Evil
I have a great story to tell you.
It is about a young girl from a small village near the woods, and I am sure you have yet to hear about her.
Whether you enjoy this story or not is up to you, but it is a story that I will tell you on how evil came into this young girl’s world.
Before we continue, let’s give this girl a name. Something simple – not too hard to remember. We can call the young girl Jessica if you’d like. We can even call her Mary. I think we should go with Mary, something easy to remember. If you want we can change it later.
So let the story continue. Mary did not usually traverse near the woods alone, and if she did, there was never a reason to be skeptical. It was Sunday morning, and Mary had grown tiresome of her schedule. Mary made the decision to wander into the woods and try something different – have a different experience than usual. She was not looking for danger, she was simply looking for a change.
As Mary left her village and the people grew seldom as she traversed into the forest, she found the noises became more amplified, and it seemed to just be her. Mary was not scared because she had never been given a reason to be, so she continued down the unknown path in search of a new experience to tell her village when she returned.
It was when Mary had reached this tree – but not any normal tree, a tree with something seeming like a hole at the bottom of the trunk – that she decided to stop. Mary sat down next to this hole and realized it could possibly lead somewhere. At this newfound knowledge, she began to slightly dig and make the hole deeper. Mary did not know where the hole led, but she knew that it would be the new experience she hoped for.
Mary kept digging and digging, and that is when she felt it – a slight graze on her hand that made her pull back in fear.
Mary was scared, but not too scared. curiosity took over and she decided to inch her hand back in, and that is when she felt the arm grasp her own, and heard soft chanting. The chanting got louder and louder, and she realized that it was a story that was being told. The grip on Mary’s wrist and hand grew stronger and tighter, and her hand began to ache. She yelped in discomfort, but the voice and story did not seize.
Mary was disconnected from reality and was not sure what was going on. She felt this pain for what felt like forever, but it had only been about 5 minutes. The voice stopped, and as Mary stood up, she no longer felt fear. She felt fearless, undefeatable, with a sense of evil inside of her.
The way she viewed the world was different, and she ran back to the village to tell the rest of the people of her new experience. She told this story to everyone in the village, the story of how evil came into the world. The once calm, peaceful, and happy village had now become full of sorrows, fear, and evil. Once Mary told this story, it could not be taken back.
Commentary
This was a very unique and interesting assignment for me. I am not a storyteller and I have never been tasked with doing something like this, but I really enjoyed this task. I found myself reading a TED talk on how to tell a story. I felt like I was given a lot of freedom and could use my imagination. I did like the fact that we were telling a story about how important stories were, and that we incorporated a world of evil into it. I noticed that each time I tried to recall this story, it continued to change. I then related that directly to the story I was telling, and decided to alter it. I kept reflecting on how King said that it is important to draw your reader’s attention by not giving too much away in the beginning. I definitely learned that it is not an easy task to draw the attention of your audience, and that became very apparent when I was reading my story to my dad. This experience helped me modify the story a bit. The more I told the story, the more comfortable I was, but I also noticed the more it changed.
I am really happy with this assignment, and it is making me excited for the rest of the term. I can’t wait to read all of your stories and see how they relate in similarity – I think it is very fun that we all based it off of the same chapter and were able to change it completely or only a little, so I am sure many of our stories will be similar.
Thank you!
Maya 🙂
Works Cited:
King, Thomas. The Truth About Stories: A Native Narrative. Peterbough:Anansi Press. 2003. Print.
2003 CBC Massey Lectures, Thomas King, The Truth about Stories: A Native Narrative: http://www.cbc.ca/ideas.
Interview with Thomas King (October 2009) by Jordan Wilson. This webpage includes a video file and a transcript of the interview: http://canlit.ca/interviews/21
Crutweets. “A World of Evil and Suffering: Cru.” Cru.org, www.cru.org/us/en/blog/life-and-relationships/hardships/a-world-of-evil-and-suffering.html.
“How to Tell a Great Story.” Harvard Business Review, 12 Aug. 2015, hbr.org/2014/07/how-to-tell-a-great-story.
I really like in the beginning when you say “Before we continue, let’s give this girl a name. Something simple – not too hard to remember. We can call the young girl Jessica if you’d like. We can even call her Mary. I think we should go with Mary, something easy to remember. If you want we can change it later.” (Sumel). This narrative commentary gives me the sense that you are telling the story to me even though I am just reading it written down. I feel that this casual commentary makes the audience feel more close to narrator like they would if they were actually being told a story orally. I guess this somewhat demonstrates the importance of oral storytelling. I am really curious why you decided to write this way and if it was because you were orally telling the story to friends and family and therefore decided to incorporate this.
Hi Sidney Thank you! Like I said to Pin Han in my comments below, I felt like if I was going to take something from the chapter, it would be this excerpt because I really enjoyed reading this part of the chapter an I wanted to keep it almost the same and incorporate it into my blog post! I definitely took this as a pointer from King’s chapter 1 in terms of how to tell a good story. I felt like it was very important to keep the reader engaged and tell some features, but not too much. Thanks 🙂
Hi Maya,
I really like the way you wrote. When I am reading it I felt like you are telling a story to me. You used the words such as “I think we should…” …, or “if you want we can change it later”. It seems like you are talking, chilling and discussing with the reader. I think it makes the story more real. also when you said “Mary was scared, but not too scared” its like we are watching a movie with an interesting narrative. I think this is a unique and interesting story.
Hi Pin Han! Thank you very much! This is one of the aspects I took from King in his first chapter, because I really enjoyed reading this. I felt like when the story was being told in his chapter, it was very relaxed and I felt apart of what he was saying, as if I was experiencing it and he was talking to me. I am really happy that is the feeling you got when you were reading my blog post! Thank you 🙂
Hi Maya,
I really enjoyed reading your story and commentary! I can definitely relate to how it is challenging to find ways to keep your audience entertained while telling a story. One of the lines that stood out the most to me in your story was “Mary was not scared because she had never been given a reason to be” since this highlights a clear distinction between the world before evil and the world after evil. I was wondering if you had any particular reason for choosing a tree as the place where Mary learns about evil?
-Indra Isita
Hi Indra,
thank you for your comment! So sorry I didn’t reply sooner, I for some reason had my settings weird and I did not notice this comment. I appreciate your analysis of my story and you sharing your favourite quote from it with me.
To be perfectly honest, the first time I told my story I did not have a clear storyline. This built each time I told the story, and as I mentioned, the story got better and better with each person I told. I think I decided it would be a tree the third time I told my story, and it was for no particular reason. I wish I had a better reason!
Thanks 🙂
Hi Maya!
I really enjoyed reading your story about how evil came into the world. I particularly appreciated the conversational tone that you used in the beginning of your story as it made me feel included and intrigued. You continued on the theme of a little girl but you made your story personal and creative to your own style. I very much felt that I was visualizing the details of Mary digging the whole as you described it.
I wonder if I were Mary if I would choose to continue to dig the whole despite the unknown and if I would brave the graze against my hand? Do you think that you would?
I absolutely agree with your commentary on saying that your story evolved every time that you told it, mine did as well. Additionally, I noticed that I began to feel more connected to my story and began to conceptualize what evil really is.
Thank you for sharing this story and I hope you have a great week!
Hi Alexandra!
I am very happy you enjoyed reading my story and that you noticed my conversational tone. Without adding dialogue, I did my best to make the story intriguing and easy to follow along with.
If I were Mary, I would like to say I would brave the graze and continue digging, but I know that truthfully I wouldn’t. I don’t consider myself a spontaneous or courageous person, so I know the unknown would scare me and stop me from uncovering something new.
Thanks for your comments on my story and blog post! I appreciate your insight.
Maya 🙂