UBC LLED367-302 2016

Part one

A spot of bother
A loaf of bread
In addition to the power
Exhibited by the bacteria
Because of multiplication,
I believe in what comes by chance.

In the morning, on his bed
The bread subtracted
And showed up behind the house, but
With all his might he has run into
Long division.

It hasn’t showed up since the war
knowing very few things
by heart.

Part two

Take your liquor license from the cross hairs,
have a bath and pay the price.
It’s all an utterly stupid joke in such a richly decorated house.
That handwritten letter
Sky blue and feather light
Rendered a mystery due to bleaching powder
Spilled inadvertently by the cleaning lady.

Part three

And so said
The argumentative, intelligent young man
Sitting in a small square bluish wooden box
Demonstrating his true toadish transferential nature
More quickly than the woman who lives next door

writingprompts

writing-prompt-assignment

10-writing-prompts

When I first found out about the gig I thought “This will be piece of cake.”

In addition to my practical experience last year, I’ve learned a bunch of stuff that should ensure it all goes according to plan.

I used to cut loose; a regular party animal. In those days, one forced oneself to stay up all night. Consequently, sleeping-in was a priority. More often than not, I stayed in bed indefinitely, all in the name of the great Pleppo.

But those days are over, and I’ve come to realize that the mornings are underrated. I rise to meet the dawn and brew a fresh pot with artisanally-roasted beans. I button up that blood red smoking jacket that warms me and reminds me of home like a soft loaf of fresh-baked bread.

The calls are coming in now.  I hop in the car, or alternatively, step onto the bus, with a calm, cool and collected manner. I overhear that catty, conversational style which you hear so sickeningly often, and think back to the days when I was shitting the bed.

I thought I was prepared for the production, and additionally thought that I could make up what I didn’t know. Regretfully, it turned out that the training I had had had had no apparent effect on my performance.

They told my supervisors that I was “Not sharpest knife in the drawer.”

Inside of the last two hundred years the public has increasingly had to cope with the growing complexity of social justice.

The notion of social justice has long differed in the English consciousness in that the English have dealt with their king under the assumption that the first English king was elected by the many leaders of the English people and their powers over law making, punishment, and national defense were transferred from their hands to his. The king’s powers, so they believed, did not allow him to tax, infringe on private property, or to punish those who had broken no laws, though as kings infringed upon their limitations their power was reclaimed by the people. Where the king had previously been sole judge the English enacted a jury system, and where the king had previously made laws the English enacted a system of responsible government. By today’s standards, the newly-formed system had anything but a rock solid foundation in that its founders thought up creative new ways to carve up power amongst themselves and crimes such as committing murder would be repaid in kind for over a century.

Through the looking glass of today’s society, this primitive, heavy-handed new form of government showed brutish behaviour no better than the kings of old, and to examine their modern day progeny one must admit that our current statesmen are considerably more modern in their forms of punishment. Modernity, however, has its failings in that the crimes committed today are in fact more inhumane than in previous times and have actually put society in much greater peril as a result. A recent example of such crimes can be found in the conduct of the Vancouver School Board trustees, for not only have they clearly perpetrated a bitter psychological attack on their governmental counterparts but they have in fact taken it upon themselves to jeopardize the very population they are elected to represent. While crime may have been brutal in the days of kings and early governments, nowhere in the annals of our great democracy has such deception and bitterness been witnessed against the people, such intricate political posturing to strike at the heart of all we hold dear. The reasons why…c-flat-writing-hw

Devices left:

6. Elaboration
b. Causative verbs She made/had/let us do the test B
c. Verbs in passive aspect He had the mail delivered by horse D
d. Sarcasm in the negative expression He’s not the most intelligent of men. B
e. Conditional sentences If…, Suppose he were, I wish… A
f. Concurrent actions While, during our visit, since he had left D
g. Reported speech He said “I will be going home.” B
h. Simile like a rolling stone, hungry as a hippo E
i. Metaphor That man is a pig, you are my sunshine E

Scraped knees and bruised arms – like a fair, noble knight, I wear these scars. Every day picking at the hardened, scaly scabs, hoping to draw out blood. Despite Mother’s constant nagging and monitoring, I find my way outside on the playground, slipping through the cracks, unseen, into the world brimming with sights and smells of the world. Children are free, though they are not the tamest of sorts, and are social butterflies. We live life chaotically in order to have adventures of pure imagination, while surviving realities. Unfortunately, this carefree attitude, this life of carelessness and endless possibilities, doesn’t actually play out in the adult world. The stubborn and reckless child in me, the untamed, wild spirit with no conscience eventually became my demise. It only took tragic game of drunken Chinese Fire Drill for me to realize that Mother was always right. She always said, “Stay seated, or else you’ll be fighting for your life.”

I wish the world was a better place

Where people would love and accept one another

Where everyone would welcome the differences

Why is there such cruelty?

Why do we judge others?

Hatred is a disease

Bitterness is its friend

Will it ever change?

Or will this be the end?

The puppy.

The brown puppy.

The adorable brown puppy.

The adorably enthusiastic, brown puppy.

The adorable, overly enthusiastic, brown puppy.

The adorable, lovable, overly enthusiastic, brown puppy.

The adorable, lovable, yet overly enthusiastic, chocolatey brown puppy

The heart-melting adorable, lovable, yet overly enthusiastic, dark, chocolatey brown puppy.

The heart-melting, undeniably adorable, lovable, yet overly enthusiastic, dark, chocolatey brown puppy.

The heart-melting, undeniably adorable, lovable, yet entirely too overly enthusiastic, rich, dark, chocolatey brown puppy.

The most heart-melting, undeniably adorable, lovable,  yet entirely too overly enthusiastic, rich, dark, chocolatey brown puppy… bit me.

I’ve tried so many different lines

and written words on top of words down on this sheet.

But i’m about to have a break down

if this Wednesday evening shakedown

causes other class’ work to be incomplete.

It says, “having a blast”

but alike examples are all escaping

and this newly-prepared poem

looks like a bottom-feeder’s scrapings.

How can I use “bone dry”

in a sensible sounding sentence?

I tried to do this as a poem

and now all i feel is repentance.

Is a measuring cup a gerund and noun?

How can I make a sequence

of smoothly electric adjectives

balancing clarity and infrequence.

Is this poem better

than the poems of my peers?

I learned that “the election politics

are annoying for people” this year.

Whats that have to do with this?

I still haven’t figured that out.

But wikipedia said, so it must be true!

Please don’t nominalize “argue”

or whine or cry or pout.

Do you know who is actually

a better poet than I?

Realistically everyone

but i like it

and furthermore, I try.

Poems are often fun

when you don’t have to sift through information.

But if i don’t post something soon

James’ll kick me out

for my insubordination.

I’m almost done this poem

though it may not make much sense.

So Kendrick let me sleep in class

know I’ve tried my best

in my defence.

I wish someone

would do all this work

and just give me the A

but teaching people to fish is better

then buying them a McFillet <—(sarcasm)

I guess i’ll sit here moping

while crying out, “why me?”

Screw the last two lines

I don’t feel like doing

a metaphor or simile.