I’m going to start this with a quote that I found in my SA’s filing cabinet that definitely helps define the experience of the two week practicum:

For all that we’ve been prepared for in class and in past experiences, to be the teacher is a heavy role. But an enjoyable one. Over the two week practicum, I’ve watched the push and pull relationships between the teacher and their students and the difference between the regular teacher versus a teacher coming in for an hour or two. I can’t say my experience is conclusive to all classroom environments. There might be similarities here and there, but like any situation where humans are involved, every classroom is going to be different.

I could write my inquiry of the power of a teacher’s presence on a class and what happens when that presence is a different one, but I’m sure there are already papers on this. But I digress, because it still baffles me. My class, for instance, goes into a hyperactive mode the moment my school advisor (SA) steps down from the official teacher position (not when she leaves the room, but when she hands the reins over to someone else).

The first time I was faced with this, I was blown away by how loud the class got almost instantly. My SA had a meeting, and a teacher on call (TOC) that’s in the school frequently came into the class to lead Fine Arts before I would take over for their daily physical activity (DPA). Even with a percentage of the students out of the class for band, the classroom was unusually loud from what I’d witnessed before. Once the class was all-together and we were headed out for DPA, the noise level and the disobedience got worse. I still managed to get attention and attempt to teach them a new game – it was for naught. They fell apart within seconds and had nothing but complaints, so I allowed them to start playing a different game they new well and off they went (still with complaints). I was discouraged, near tears, but the TOC turned to me and said, “They are running around, aren’t they? Then you’ve done your job. Don’t worry about it.”

The next time I was more prepared for this reaction. My SA was going to be in the classroom with me, so I don’t know if it was more her presence than my preparedness that kept the chaos to a smaller amount, but things went better because I was ready and more confident in my plan. I stood up in front of the class, commanded their attention, and began to teach once I had it. It’s true, there are many things I have to work on with my teaching abilities (like waiting… always waiting…), but I felt like I had better control of the moment than the previous lesson.

It wouldn’t be until a week (and a number of lessons, good and bad) later that I would find that quote and have an ‘aha’ moment. “I am the decisive element.” I decide how the class is going to go with how I approach it. If I’m apprehensive like I was with the DPA lesson, I am going to have less control. If any experience taught me that, it was a Remembrance Day lesson I attempted, when I was not at all prepared. If I walk in like a teacher, like someone who has this knowledge, and is passionate about teaching it, I will have more control over how that lesson will go. If I go in, and I say to myself “you’ve got this, they can do this”, I might have a better chance at maintaining control. I have faith that those students can sit there, and can be engaged, because I’ve seen it. I know they can. I just have to remember that.