My form of procrastination.

Maybe its procrastination or just inability. I have a chem midterm next Friday. And I can’t, I just can’t do it. I cannot pick up that huge book and start. Chem, just isn’t my thing.

So what do I do?

-Sleep for 3 hours straight in bright day light.

-Plan completely spontaneous movie nights which go on till 2 in the morning.

-Explore about 2 dozen playlists on 8 tracks.

-Pick up a book and read.

-Look out the window during sunset. Click photographes ( post them on blogsquad )

I wish I could keep doing this forever. Sitting and looking out. And if I continue, most probably that’s all I’ll ever be doing.

Wait I don’t want to be doing that for the rest of my life. But I also do not want to pick up that book and study.

*insert infinity loop here ( Go back to the top ) *

My last few posts haven’t been happy happy, so I bring to you this – A happy post, about studying ! Its a paradoxical statement, I know.

Vancouver weather, according to a certain parent, is study weather. It isn’t bright ,sunny warm and trying to lure you outside. Instead its rainy, grey and cold. Pretty much forcing you to look into your books.

So my idea is to take advantage of this weather and make my own little study heaven in my humble dorm room that is as old as Edward Cullen. ( I am NOT trying to promote twilight here, I don’t even like it. Its just no other simile would pop into my head ) —

The sound of soft pitter-patter of rain coming from your slightly opened window combined with ice cream and warm soft coats ( yes they exist ) is a perfect setting to study.

Add John Mayer playing in the background, maybe some fairy lights and a cup of warm green tea.

Ahh, लाजवाब ! ( that’s Hindi for “matchless”, as said by google translate. Pronounced – Lā-ja-vāb. Yeah, Im Indian..thought I’d bring a little culture in )

Drop a textbook into the scene and you are set to have a beautiful, “matchless”, calm study evening.

Happy Studying 🙂

I just went through the I-Dont-Want-To-Do-Anything phase. Yes, right before the finals week. Its not nice.

Your brain stops working.

When you stare at a textbook, all you see is shapes and symbols that invoke the doodler in you to start doodling.

You start churning out soulful and deep poems on the sides of your notes and textbooks.

You get angry at extremely trivial things and end up holding petty grudges against your friends.

You sleep a whole lot then you usually would. and also your dreams get more vivid and weird.

You spend a whole lot of time with heavy eyes listening to music.

Yup, that pretty much surmises my weekend. I even tried to do something i loved. But no, nothing wants to work. Ultimately Doctor Mum had to step in. She forced me to skype her and we spoke. Mindlessly, for hours. And when I hit the red button and looked up, I was happy! I was light at heart. Little less lonely and ready to study again.

So I guess the moral of the story is to Skype your parents more often ( as my mom would like me to say ). But I think its more about finding new ways to de-stress.

TA-DA !

Today I got my math midterm back. Didn’t do well but I expected that. I passed and that’s great! My consolation was that I did much better on my first midterm than the rest of the class so my second midterm levels it out and my grade is still at around class average. Which I am fine with. Also not doing well meant I would twice as hard for my final. My self-confidence remained stable.

Another friend in class asked me my grade. I told him. And his reaction is what lead me to write this post. He was shocked. He actually though I was kidding about my grade. He wondered how I could such a low grade when I actually helped solve some questions before. Yeah, sounds overwhelming right? So you can imagine what effect these words had on my confidence. I started believing what he said. I started questioning my ability and my work regime. My confidence plummeted and my stress levels went up.

By the time I was walking back home at 5, I was listening to sad songs and glooming over how I’m wasting my parent’s money. Finally a little voice in my head spoke- “Don’t let his words affect you “. Should I? Or should I not? Because I actually did not study too well for the test. I did not give it my best. I should have been more responsible. But then again, his words brought down my self-confidence.

So my question is where should I draw the line? Whose words and what words do I take into consideration. And to what extent should they affect me? I would normally listen to my family but now I am at university, away from home. I have a new makeshift family now- my friends. So is anyone willing to answer?

When i walk down the halls and someone carrying a heavy pile of books loses balance and right in front of me, i go ahead and help pick the books.

When I open the door I look behind and hold the door for someone even if they are a few steps behind me whenever I can.

I give my seat up when someone who requires priority appears on a bus.

When I encounter that awkward moment when someone else and I grab for the same thing, I let the other person go first.

When im waiting for the elevator with a couple of other people, i let them go in first when the lift arrives.

These are just tiny things that give me joy doing, because after a really long and bad day when a stranger does something like this for you, you feel a tad bit better and the day seems a tad bit less deary.

And well, the circle of life or ” karma” gave me return gift. I had a pretty bad day yesterday and while I went for the tray at the caf someone else reached for it as well. I said sorry and moved away but then he said “oh no no, you go ahead ! ” with a bright smile and i dont know why but that hit me. Maybe its because i don’t get such treats everyday and after that shitty day, that little bit of kindness made me warm again 🙂

I had also happened to be pretty ill so I couldn’t meet a friend to help him with his homework. Want to know what he did instead of cribbing ? he came over and tucked me in bed like my mom would when i was ill back home. Sweetness 🙂

Its these tiny things that instilled my faith in performing acts of common courtesy. Thank you for that 🙂 And please don’t stop doing them, because in this community we live in right now, a little kindness goes long way to help others feel better !

Ever since classes started I’ve been becoming increasingly dependant on chocolate. I currently own –

If you do too, I feel you 🙁