I just went through the I-Dont-Want-To-Do-Anything phase. Yes, right before the finals week. Its not nice.

Your brain stops working.

When you stare at a textbook, all you see is shapes and symbols that invoke the doodler in you to start doodling.

You start churning out soulful and deep poems on the sides of your notes and textbooks.

You get angry at extremely trivial things and end up holding petty grudges against your friends.

You sleep a whole lot then you usually would. and also your dreams get more vivid and weird.

You spend a whole lot of time with heavy eyes listening to music.

Yup, that pretty much surmises my weekend. I even tried to do something i loved. But no, nothing wants to work. Ultimately Doctor Mum had to step in. She forced me to skype her and we spoke. Mindlessly, for hours. And when I hit the red button and looked up, I was happy! I was light at heart. Little less lonely and ready to study again.

So I guess the moral of the story is to Skype your parents more often ( as my mom would like me to say ). But I think its more about finding new ways to de-stress.

TA-DA !

Today I got my math midterm back. Didn’t do well but I expected that. I passed and that’s great! My consolation was that I did much better on my first midterm than the rest of the class so my second midterm levels it out and my grade is still at around class average. Which I am fine with. Also not doing well meant I would twice as hard for my final. My self-confidence remained stable.

Another friend in class asked me my grade. I told him. And his reaction is what lead me to write this post. He was shocked. He actually though I was kidding about my grade. He wondered how I could such a low grade when I actually helped solve some questions before. Yeah, sounds overwhelming right? So you can imagine what effect these words had on my confidence. I started believing what he said. I started questioning my ability and my work regime. My confidence plummeted and my stress levels went up.

By the time I was walking back home at 5, I was listening to sad songs and glooming over how I’m wasting my parent’s money. Finally a little voice in my head spoke- “Don’t let his words affect you “. Should I? Or should I not? Because I actually did not study too well for the test. I did not give it my best. I should have been more responsible. But then again, his words brought down my self-confidence.

So my question is where should I draw the line? Whose words and what words do I take into consideration. And to what extent should they affect me? I would normally listen to my family but now I am at university, away from home. I have a new makeshift family now- my friends. So is anyone willing to answer?