There are times when you become numb and you feel like every inch of your body is screaming in pain and every ounce of energy spent. There are times when you feel all hope is gone and all efforts wasted.
Then, I was running.
There are days when I feel like I simply want to give up, to give in to the obvious fact that I can never make it. The effort is exhausting, and when I think of the fact that no one basically cares if I make it or not, it motivates me to go on. But what for?
Everything around me is a blur as I sweat vigorously and my little feet pound the pavement, each step heavier than the next. Each step convincing me that I should just give up. No one cares. My breathing becomes increasingly rapid as I frantically continue. I tell myself giving up is not an option. But in situations like this, is trying even worth it? The pain, the effort, the heart?
With dying hope and increasing pain, the time keeps ticking on. Time makes cowards of us all; constricting us, limiting us, distracting us. My chest feels like it is on fire as it burns with pain. I find myself asking… “what is this all for? The glory? The relief? The exercise?”
My sack with my belongings continues to bounce on my back as I run faster and faster. It feels like an extra burden I have to carry on top of everything else I am suffering. It is pain. Some days I wish I could rip it off, get rid of that burden, run free, go on without worries.
The Tower. All you need to go is the Tower.
I climb stairs, I go down stairs, frantically searching for my destination. I am ready to break and my breath is harsh and quick. Why am I doing this? Why does it have to happen to me? I look at everyone else… they’re all… different. They don’t suffer from my problem. They don’t need to. They don’t have to. They don’t choose to.
With a final effort, I lunge into that beautiful wooden contraption called a desk as my English professor walks in. Too close for comfort.
She already said she didn’t mind if people were late.
But I fight my fight. For the ultimate journey is the ten minute journey from from one end of the UBC campus. To the other.
NOTES: This post was meant to be satirical. I am not actually suffering. (But it is a crazy journey.)