Category Archives: stress

Stress Management via Mindfulness

Posted on by

It’s true, I’ve written a lot about stress.  However, over the past six weeks I’ve been involved in a Mindfulness Skills group/class-thing through Counselling Services in Brock Hall, and since doing that I’ve learned a lot of valuable skills for managing stress.

First of all, I’d like to talk a little bit about the group itself: everyone there is open minded, non-judgmental, and there for the same reason you are: to learn to deal with stress better.  Confidentiality is expected from everyone, so I will be talking just from my own perspective and share with you some of the things I’ve learned. They’ve helped me a lot!

We all have our coping strategies, whether it’s to distract ourselves with TV or video games, taking time for ourselves by taking a walk or exercising, or chowing down on some comfort food. At some point, all of these things have made us feel better and less stressed out. But sometimes, those strategies don’t work; this is where mindfulness can be very handy.

What is mindfulness? Well, I can’t exactly condense six weekly of sessions into a blog post, but this is the gist of it: you pay attention to where your thoughts and emotions are, be present in the moment, and suspend judgment.

So for example, try holding a random object that has no particular meaning to you. Notice all of the details you can see and touch, focusing all your attention on that object. Your mind will wander; it was built to think after all. Just notice those thoughts and allow them to pass, and return your attention to your object, without judging yourself (berating yourself) for your mind wandering.  Congratulations! You’ve just practiced mindfulness. By being totally present in just paying attention to details in your external surroundings, you can ground yourself when you start to feel overwhelmed and think with a clear head.

You can also focus on internal sensations. Imagine a circle of light is around the top of your head. Now pay attention to all the feelings in that part of your body, and as you imagine the band of light moving down towards your toes, focus just on the parts of your body that are in the range of the light. Notice any tightness in your muscles or anything your skin is touching. Or, you can focus on your breath, and how your ribcage will expand and contract as you breathe in and out.

These are two great ways of calming your mind when you start to feel your stress spinning your thoughts out of control. Another one following these principals that really helps calm me down when I start feeling stressed out or upset is called “5 4 3 2 1.” Basically, you name five things you can see, five things you can hear, and five things you can touch. Then four things you can see, four things you can hear, and four things you can touch. And so on until you reach one.  If you’re feeling upset, it brings your attention away from  that emotion what was causing the distress. When I’m done, I usually find that I can think a lot more clearly and the tension that builds in my chest releases.

Mindfulness can really be applied to anything.  Basically it’s about being in the present, paying attention to details and your thoughts, and not judging.  So let’s say you start stressing out because you got a bad grade on a test. First, you notice that your thoughts are starting to obsess over this grade. You think, huh, I’m pretty disappointed by that grade. My thoughts seem to really be thinking about that a lot. Maybe I’ll pay really close attention to my surroundings so I can calm down. Okay. Now I’ll look at it objectively: This is the mark that I got. I can’t change the past, but I can change how I react in the present so I can shape the future. I’ll accept this grade, and try to identify how I can do better for the next test.

Granted, this is all easier said than done. You have to practice at it. And to be honest, I’m not sure if I’m getting my point across! I am by no means an expert in this. If you are interested in mindfulness and/or want to get a handle on dealing with your stress, I strongly recommend checking out the Mindfulness Skills Group at Counselling Services in Brock Hall. There are way more aspects to this that I can’t really get to and way more exercises that they can give you.

Since attending the class, I’ve been able to deal with stressful situations a lot better: when I’m upset with someone, I can calm myself down. If I make a mistake at orchestra rehearsal, I can be objective about it and practice more for the next time rather than beating myself up for it. If I start getting overwhelmed and exaggerating the situation, I can bring myself back. This class was probably the best thing I did for myself this year.

An Ode to Yoga

Posted on by

This post is not actually going to be an ode, because I am not a poet and I don’t really know what an ode is (I’m sure I will by the end of term though; I’m taking second-year poetry at the moment). I am, however, going to tell you why I love yoga so much:

  1. Building strength. Depending on what type of class you choose, some yoga classes can be really intense and build all sorts of muscles you didn’t you you had! And in a more relaxed environment instead of a a loud, bustling environment of a gym or sport.  If you want an intense muscle workout try vinyasa or power yoga!
  2. Increasing flexibility. We tend to ignore our bodies. But really, do you think that hours hunched over a desk are good for you? Stretching and opening your body makes you feel good, less stressed out, and in less pain from sore muscles. (This part is especially good for me since I have chronic muscle pain in various areas.) If you want even more stretching, try a yin class! They hold stretching poses for 3-7 minutes.
  3. Time to focus on the present. Yoga incorporates a lot of elements of a technique called mindfulness (which I’m also learning about in my stress management class with Counselling Services – post on that to come).  Basically, you get to set aside an hour and just focus on the present moment. Concentrate on your breath, on your muscles as they hold a pose.  Stress can get us overwhelmed, but if you take some time to focus on the here and now, it can really calm you down and ground you. Not to mention, our lives can be pretty darn hectic and taking a moment to slow things down can really help your mental health.

Interested in trying yoga? I’d suggest starting out with a hatha class, as it’s more gentle and is a good way to start out. On campus, you can take a class with UBC REC, or try the UBC Yoga Club. REC classes average $80-$100 for one term for UBC students. The UBC Yoga Club charges $10 for a membership, and then all classes are drop-in and cost $2. I’ve done both, but this term I joined the Yoga Club and I like it way more because it costs less, there are more types of classes at more times, and if I have to miss one it’s no big deal since I haven’t already paid for it.

Counselling Services

Posted on by

Today I’d like to share something with you that I’m a little bit shy to share. However, it’s a topic that I feel should be more okay to discuss, so here I go.

January marks the beginning of rehearsals for the opera UBC will be putting on at the beginning of February (Dialogues des Carmelites, Poulenc, 1953-55).  Since I got my part before winter break, I’ve been stressing out like crazy about it. Ensembles stress me out in general; although my part is not particularly challenging, I don’t have a lot of confidence in my ability to move with a conductor, and I’m worried I’ll count the rests wrong and come in at the wrong place. Heaven forbid I should play a wrong note!  Although it’s doubtful that anyone would say anything to me, and most of the orchestra would probably not even notice, when I make a mistake, I feel as though I’ve committed some horrible crime.  The root of it is I feel ashamed of myself when I judge that I’ve played badly.

However, I didn’t really grasp just how terrified I was to play, just in a rehearsal.

I had been dreading coming back to school, and I felt quite down since I got back last night.  I sat outside the room where gamelan ensemble rehearses before class started, and a masters student who would also be playing in the opera started talking to me about the opera. Basically, she confirmed my fears that following the conductor is a lot harder than in regular orchestra, you rarely get cues, and it’s very easy to get lost.

I tried to keep talking and stay calm, but I could feel tears coming up behind my eyes. I excused myself to the washroom to try to compose myself. I thought I succeeded after a few jerky breaths and wiped up tears. I headed back to the rehearsal room and thought I was fine, but after a few minutes I had to rush off to the bathroom again because I just couldn’t shake that anxious feeling. Cue more crying and hyperventilating. At this point I didn’t know if I could get through the class, but I thought once we started playing I’d get distracted. Nope. Nope nope nope.  Crying in public is so embarrassing! When it became very clear that I wasn’t going to be able to stop any time soon, I told my instructor I was feeling unwell and he let me leave. (Thank you thank you thank you!!)

I gathered my things, trying not to feel the stares of my classmates as I left the room. I headed back to the washroom and cried even harder. My breath came too fast, in shallow gasps, and attempts to slow it down failed. I said to myself, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.”  All I felt was fear and panic and anxiety. Well hello there, first ever panic attack. Once I calmed down enough to breathe properly, I decided I’d go to Counselling Services. If this stress is enough to cause me to leave class, it’s time to do something about it.

Counselling Services are available Monday to Friday 9:30 am to 3:30 pm. You can just drop in for your first appointment, although you’ll probably be waiting at least an hour for your 20-minute appointment, maybe more. They get you to fill out a bunch of paperwork and then when it’s your turn they invite you in with what I’m sure is a very practiced soothing voice and talk to you about your situation. I’m sorry that I sound cynical, but I think that because it’s so easy to feel defensive about needing counselling, so you deceive yourself into thinking that others are patronizing you. But in actuality, the soothing voice actually did calm me down a lot without me realizing it.

Generally speaking, I’m mentally very healthy, I like myself and my life, and usually I’m pretty healthy, but I don’t deal with stress very well and I’ve got it, it messes me up and gets me down. So I was referred to a group stress class that meets on Wednesday evenings. I’m told that it isn’t a “everyone share your feelings” AA-style support group, it’s a sort of meeting where counsellors will talk with you and give you some tools to help deal with your stress or anxiety. I’ll be sure to report back and let you know how that goes.

Honestly, I felt a bit self-conscious walking through the frosted glass doors in Brock Hall. I even felt nervous before my  appointment came up. I felt a bit embarrassed when once again I couldn’t hold my tears in when I started talking to my counsellor. But the thing is, no one there is going to judge you. They didn’t judge me. You can be sure they’ve seen all kinds of problems, and they’re there to help you deal with yours.

Needing help with your mental health often comes with a stigma; people don’t want to talk about it or let anyone know they need it. But maybe if we talked about it more, more people would feel comfortable enough to get the help they need and live a happier life. That’s why I’ve shared my story with you.

 

 

Read the post on the stress management class HERE.

Stress.

Posted on by

As university students, we all experience stress in some way. Sometimes it is ignorable, sometimes it is  totally manageable, and at times it can feel utterly debilitating. Time management and relaxation strategies can work wonders with the first two scenarios, but for the last one, sometimes they just don’t cut it.

When I get this “intense stress” as I will call it, it feels like no matter how I organize myself, there are just not enough hours in the day to do everything I have to do. Because I have so. Much. Stuff. To. Do.  There is just so much I need to accomplish it’s overwhelming and I seriously doubt my ability to do it. And taking time for myself, meditating, exercising, and “relaxing” activities can’t take my brain off of everything I should be doing at that moment and worrying I won’t be able to do it all and that I won’t be able to do it well enough.

When I get intense stress, I tend to:

  1.  Tell myself I can handle it and micromanage my time; this often involves not giving myself enough time to relax and have fun, and also staying up later and getting up earlier to try to cram more stuff in a day. Less sleep and less brain-off time is the perfect breeding ground for intense stress.
  2. Focus poorly. When my brain is in ten million places at once, I can’t focus properly on the task at hand.
  3. Get frustrated. I can’t focus, and I’m running on a fried brain.  Do you think I’m getting good results from my labor? No.
  4. Push harder. I’m frustrated with my lack of progress, so I push myself harder to try to get them. Hello even more tired brain.  I tell myself I should stop (this usually goes for practicing for me), but I haven’t accomplished what I wanted to yet so I keep saying “Just a little longer” for what turns into a lot longer, resulting in even less progress and possibly injury (in the case of my hands).
  5. Cry. I break. I lie on the floor for a while.  I question my abilities and also the fairness of the universe.
  6. Check in with reality. Okay, clearly what I’m doing is not working, made obvious by my breakdown. I need to take a break. I need to breathe. I need to remember that even in the worst case scenario, I will still be alive, and there will still be people who love me. And those, above all, are the most important things. What I have to do isn’t going to be easy; it might not be fun.  But there is a pretty good chance things are going to be okay.  However, letting your stress possess you isn’t the way to get there.

What am I going to do now? Well, honestly, I’m not sure. I’m going to take it a day at a time. I’m going to take more me time, sleep more, not pack my days so full. Not get mad at myself if things don’t go the way I want. I’m going to do my best, and if it isn’t good enough, well. I’m just going to try to get through this degree, and then live my life at a pace I like.

Also I’m maybe going to look into stress management classes.

 

“I Don’t Belong Here” Syndrome

Posted on by

Diagnosis: “I Don’t Belong Here” Syndrome

Symptoms: Feelings of low self-esteem and confidence, worthlessness, anxiety, stress, depression, doubt. Wondering if one really has what it takes to be a UBC student.

Unfortunately, it is all too common this time of year for students to develop “I Don’t Belong Here” Syndrome.  With finals looming, you look at your midterm marks which maybe as high as you were hoping, and if you’re in first year, probably not as high as your high school marks, and you wonder if you’re really smart enough to be at UBC.  Your previous marks disappointed you, and your brain is tired now and you wonder if you can muster the strength to finish that final 100 metre stretch of the race.

It happens to me too.  Since I can’t practice much because of my hands, the pieces I’m working on aren’t in the kind of shape I’d like them to be in, and all of my peers seem to be miles ahead of me. In my harp quartet jury (like a test-performance which you get graded on), I didn’t perform nearly as well as I wanted to, and I started getting in a funk.  Throughout the year, I feel less than confident about my abilities, and although my teacher frequently tells me that I’m doing well and that I’m talented, I can’t help but feel like I’m just not good enough.

But the truth is, I’m doing fine. I’m just psyching myself out. And if the above symptoms sound like you, that’s what you’re doing too.  If I was no good at harp, I wouldn’t have been admitted.  Everyone who gets into UBC is smart.  So if you were smart enough to get in, you’re smart enough to stay in.

Your courses are designed to be challenging and push you to your limits.  If you feel like you need help, that’s nothing to be ashamed of; that’s why UBC has tons of academic resources for you to take advantage of.

You do belong here! Try not to get discouraged. UBC chose you, after all, and they weren’t wrong about i!

 

A Story of Loving Rain

Posted on by

As many of you probably know, the Student Recreation Centre here at UBC does this wonderful thing at the beginning of every term called Shopping Week.  You can go try out any class for free to see if it’s something you want to sign up for.

Originally, I had looked at the schedule and said, “Aw man, none of the yoga classes are at good times for me!” And I thought I’d try going to a place off campus. And on Sunday, that is, yesterday, I was going to go check it out, but I discovered that because of awkward bus changes it would take me nearly an hour to get there, and back. This is despite the fact that it would take a car less than ten minutes to get there.

So I took another look at the Shopping Week Calendar. Sunday Night Vinyasa. Sounds good, what time does it start? 7:30 PM. Time on the clock: 6:45. I quickly signed up for the class (they want you to do that now; you didn’t have to last year) and then dashed out the door in the pouring rain toting my yoga mat and bag filled with water bottle, wallet, cell phone, etc.

In fact, I had to dash to catch the bus coming up the road behind me, but made it sort of dry to REC Centre. I walk inside, and what’s this? Oh, the lights are off inside the studio. I take a closer look at a poster for Shopping Week. It starts on Monday. That is, today. My class won’t be starting until next Sunday.

Initially, I felt disappointed. It hadn’t been a great day, and now this. But then, I just sort of didn’t care; I found myself feeling positive. Oh well, I thought to myself. Now I have a whole hour that I didn’t think I’d have before! The only logical thing to do now is to go home, drop off my stuff, and take a walk in the rain to Menchie’s and buy some delicious, delicious, fro-yo.

I walked to Wesbrook Village with my hood down, the rain soaking my hair. Now, I am not normally a person who likes rain. I rather dislike it, in fact. In Winnipeg, when it rains, it rains hard, each drop cold and stinging, painful even. But as I walked to Menchie’s, I just thought of the delight that was ahead of me, and noticed how the rain was soft on my head. I liked it, and welcomed being soaked. The clouds were dark, and I appreciated that. None of this nonsense where it’s raining hard but still bright out, with white clouds. That, to me, is just silliness.

The cheerful bight pink and green of the frozen yogurt shop welcomed me inside, and I picked my flavours – they always have new ones and the choices are so exciting! – pineapple and green apple tart, and then put maraschino cherries on top. Oh, happiness in my mouth. I had a peaceful walk back as the rain dripped down my face and clung to my glasses. When I got home, it occurred to me that without even realizing it, all the stress I’d been feeling earlier that day had just melted away.

I’m trying to describe to you how peaceful I felt in that moment, but it’s hard. I guess what I want you to take away from this is that you’ve just gotta roll with the punches sometimes. Sometimes, it’s just gonna be a hard day, but when something else goes wrong, just laugh and say, Of course! Just go with it. God knows the sunshine isn’t going to last forever and sometimes, you’ve just got to learn to love the rain.