Category: Academic

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Academic Personal

The world turns

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Hold structure,
don’t let life pass,
let yourself be free.
Cause your much more

——–

Last night as I was packing I felt waves of anxiety overcome the bubble of excitement that I’ve been living in for the past few weeks. Suddenly, it really, really, hit me: that I’ll be going away to another country that will have different norms and will be worlds and worlds away from home. Even though I’ll only be away for three months, the anxiety is still there. I’ve never travelled away from home myself. It’s a new experience, something full of personal challenges I may have to face on my own. I wonder, if I am feeling this anxiety, if that means I am learning already. In all our pre-departure sessions we learned to identify confused and uncomfortable moments as opportunities for learning. I know it won’t be easy. With each day drawing closer, I am more and more tentative, but this is normal, and I do know I need to take this step out before I can make any sense of where I am going with my degree.

I don’t know if there are other students who have experienced their education as I have… regarding it as a ‘responsibility’, imposed onto me by parents, cultural norms, or simply something that I pegged for myself since I was 6 years old because that was the expected goal for every good child. I am an avid learner and I love every moment I am a student. But, I can’t help but wonder if my experience as a student has been shallow up until this point. I haven’t felt many ‘aha’ moments in my years as a student. Have I even been following my heart? I don’t know who I am in that respect, yet. I really, sincerely, pray that my experience will be full of learning. About myself, at least.

I crave that discomfort that pushes me out of my comfort zone. I crave wisdom from those who have learned and felt from experience. I look forward to my conversations with students in Africa, because I am so sure they must learn differently from us. Not to create an ‘us versus them’ dichotomy, we are so careful to identify this now, but to really accept that cultures influence how education is delivered and shapes students. Most of all, I look forward to being away from home, and friends, and comfortable spaces… I anticipate the moments when I will be with myself, and the advice I give/take will really be my own, uninfluenced by the ideas and expectations that I may have habituated to.

I am so nervous. I found myself packing enough to last me for months and months on end and it shocks me how little I need. I am so, so, so sheltered. I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all. It’s allowed me to comfortably and safely learned the textbook material that has led me to this point where I will step out beyond the boundaries of B.C. which have defined how I’ve lived as a Vancouverite and a student… I want to be a global citizen, and not just on paper. I think I am nervous because I have no idea where this will lead me, so I am tentative. But, I am willing to take on any challenge. I have made a big deal out of this trip. It is a big deal. I will come home and read this and be able to compare. Perhaps I won’t change much. I hope that is not the case.

I want to let go and proclaim to the world, ‘I’m ready! Take me on! I will be your modelglobal citizen!’, but that would be naive, and reckless, and incredibly self centered of me. So I will keep the sentiment in heart and be as confident as I can possibly be, in who I am not what I know, and be respectful to all those I meet and work with in Africa so I can really learn and keep note of where I stand in this world.

——–

Words are words are words

Categories
Academic Personal

Where is…

The past two weeks after exams ended have been full of meetups and errands, on top of extra shifts I took on for last minute cash before I leave Vancouver. One night, after a particularly eventful day, my girl friend came over for a sleepover and she asked me a seemingly innocent question: Where is this place you’re going to? Mind you, I’ve been rambling about going to Uganda for the past four months, and so it caught me by surprise. “Uganda! What do you mean, ‘where am I going’, silly, I’m going to Africa!”

“But think about it again: what does that mean, ‘I’m going to Africa’?” she pressed, “Where is Africa?”

The thing I value most about friendships is the honest perspective I get on the important (and some less important) decisions I make… and in that moment I really, truly, appreciated her frankness with me. Though I’ve taken SOCI 435 with Professor Dawn Currie (an amazing sociology prof, by the way), and though I’ve written papers and read articles on the ethics and experiences of international service learning and international development… I was caught off guard, and I didn’t know what to answer with.

Africa is the second largest and second most populous continent after Asia. This is what you get when you Google “Africa”. I am going to Uganda, where it is often dubbed the ‘pearl of Africa’… so in my mind I have images of beautiful lakes, exotic animals, loving and hospitable people, all swept up in a perfectly scenic postcard photograph. “But where is Uganda??” my friend pressed.

I don’t know! I have no idea ‘where’ Africa is, much less ‘where’ Uganda is. These places haven’t yet been programmed into my mind’s geography… I only know the semantics of its existence. In some ways that is really sad, because there are people and animals and living beings who aren’t represented in my experience of the world. How can I not be as aware of the world as I should be, if we are all part of what we call ‘humankind’? What is it that allows us to live our daily lives often in blissful ignorance of what goes on in the world beyond the daily headlines?

I’m apprehensive as the week before my departure begins. I am a second closer to a trip that I truly, personally, believe will change how I view myself, my education, the world, people, life, love, and all things important in my college journey of self discovery. I’m excited for all this.. but just like with any new thing, it can be a difficult thing to adjust to, and to accept.

I think the most important question I will ask myself during my three months away will be: “Where is my knowledge of culture, being, identity, law, education, etc…. coming from? Where do I place myself in the global, grand scheme of things? Who am I as a student?” I hope I can come back to this question in four months and answer it with more wisdom than I can attempt to right now.

———–

“Where is my future headed, from this experience?”

Categories
Academic Personal

t- 26

I am always hesitant to post a blog post on this blog because it seems more official and academic, simply because it’s part of ubc blogs. I think I will try to get into the habit of reflecting in this space whenever something remotely related to my undergrad experience happens.

This week has been full of exams and studying, as most of us are familiar with. So far, I’ve pulled one all nighter, gone on two junk food binges, and survived on an average of three cups of coffee each day. It’s good times. Last night I spent the night in a sleeping bag at my friend’s dorm, which is also a common occurrence during this time… I still have yet to sleep at the library. All in all, lots of studying is getting done, and my busy week will end once I finish up an exam this afternoon and write my ten page paper for related to my placement coming up in t- 26days!

I spent a good chunk of last night checking out different university lipdubs, and as I was walking to the SUB (student union building) this morning, I thought of how lucky we all were as students studying in North America. To have the privilege of residing and being the heart of a prominent educational institution is something beyond the dreams and aspirations of other individuals across the world. I think that, as a student, I can speak to my ignorance and pettiness when I am caught up with my own life. What I complain about really has no right to be a complaint. I will give thanks more, and reflect on how I can give back to the global community.

As my placement in Uganda is approaching, I am also formulating possible post- grad plans… I am considering pursuing a B.Ed, M.Ed, and then joining Teachers without Borders for two years or so. Eventually I hope that I can dedicate my life to the field of education, and maybe be a significant influence in an education system somewhere in the world.

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