Best Works

English 301 Technical Writing is a course taught by Dr. Erika Paterson at the University of British Columbia. Effective, precise, and appropriate writing is an indispensable skill that is essential to professional success. Class assignments guided students in developing professional documents for a variety of situations.  This page displays a selection of documents I created: definition of technical terminology, review of peer work, report proposal, progress report, survey, interview questions, and business letters. As dental hygiene if the focus of this web folio, all documents with the exception of peer reviews present dental industry scenarios.

DEFINITION ASSIGNMENT

Defining terms in a professional environment is essential to effective communication. Failure to convey an accurate message can have legal ramifications or medical consequences. When clarifying one must be conscious of the audience. The words chosen to explain a term must match the reader’s level of knowledge. Definitions must be concise and leave little room for interpretation. The goal for this assignment was to learn the components of different types of definitions, chose a technical term and convey a message with exactitude to a selected audience.

Selected term: Periodontitis

Selected situation: I am a dental hygienist working at a periodontal clinic. I meet new patients everyday who have been referred to the clinic for specialized care. The initial encounter is a consultation, when the patient receives an oral examination and a diagnosis. Several terms and procedures are explained to the patient at this appointment and the information is also provided in writing. Because I am working in the health industry, informed consent is required to proceed with treatment. I must accurately describe the patient’s state of health and treatment options using terms they will recognize. The patient needs to fully understand their dental condition to make decisions with confidence. In this scenario, it is my responsibility to explain periodontitis to the patient.

Selected audience: An adult dental patient who does not have technical knowledge of periodontitis.

Parenthetical definition:

Periodontitis (a gum infection that attacks the jaw bone).

Sentence definition:

Periodontitis is a chronic inflammatory disease that is characterized by a receding gumline, bad breath, loose teeth, and if left untreated it can lead to tooth loss.(Canadian Academy of Periodontology [CAP], 2020, American Academy of Periodontology [AAP], 2019, Healthline [HL], 2017).

Expanded definitions:

  • Operating Principle: Bacterial plaque and tartar accumulation on teeth irritate the gums, causing gingivitis. If the build-up is not removed on a regular basis, the bone around the tooth will wear away (CAP, 2020, AAP, 2019, HL. 2017).
  • Comparison and Contrast: Gingivitis is a reversible condition that affects only the gingiva (gums). Symptoms include red, swollen, and bleeding gums. Periodontitis is an irreversible disease that affects the gums and destroys the bone of the jaw. Gingivitis is often the first sign of periodontitis (HL, 2017).

(Barniv, 2018)

  • Special Conditions: X-rays and measurement of the periodontal pocket depth are required for diagnosis (CAP, 2020).
  • Analysis of Parts: A periodontal pocket is the space between the root of the tooth and the gum. A dental probe is used to measure the depth of the pocket. The probe is marked with lines, like a ruler, and is gently inserted vertically along the side of the tooth, under the gums. A deep periodontal pocket is unhealthy (CAP 2020, AAP 2019).

 (Healthsnap)

  • Required Conditions: The most common risk factors for periodontitis are smoking, diabetes, heart disease, and stress. (CAP, 2020, AAP, 2019, HL, 2017).

Works Cited:

American Academy of Periodontology. (2019). Gum Disease information: Types of gum                        disease, Gum disease risk factors, Gum disease symptoms.                                                                           https://www.perio.org/consumer/gum-disease.html

Barniv, Z. (2018). Gum Disease [Image]. Today. https://www.today.com/series/one-small-                 thing/do-you-need-deep-dental-cleaning-dentists-discuss-t127590

Canadian Academy of Periodontology. (2020). What is periodontal disease.                                                  https://www.cap-acp.ca/en/public/periodontal_disease.html

Healthline. (2017, May 22). Periodontitis. https://www.healthline.com/health/periodontitis

[Untitled illustration of periodontal probe measurements]. HealthSnap.                                                    https://www.healthsnap.ca/blog/floss-gums-health-teeth-dentist-periodontal.html

******************************************************************************************I created a document showcasing the technical definitions and images of periodontitis  developed for this assignment as an example of the reading situation. The document is designed to be an information pamphlet about periodontitis as well as a welcome letter. It would be given to new patients following a consultation as a reminder of the terms discussed at their appointment and to reassure them of the clinics devotion to their health.

Please open the following attachment to view the formatted patient information sheet:

Definition of Periodontitis- Patient Info Sheet- C.Hruby       ******************************************************************************************

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PEER REVIEW OF DEFINITION ASSIGNMENT

Once the definition assignment was complete, students were asked to follow a template to review the work of a fellow student. Editing of a peer’s work requires students to revisit assignment instructions, uncovering missed details. Editing also leads students down a path of self-reflection, often shedding light of mistakes made in their own documents. Adherence to revision formatting was challenging on this first attempt.

TO:              XXXX, English 301 Student Writer                                                                                    FROM:        Christina Hruby, English 301 Student Reviewer                                                          DATE:         June 7, 2020                                                                                                        SUBJECT:  Review of Arterial Technical Definitions Assignment

Thank you for submitting the technical definition assignment explaining the term arterial. The descriptive report was well written and informative. The following are some comments and suggestions for improving the document.

First Impressions: First impressions of this document are largely positive. The information is well organized and concise, allowing the reader to easily grasp the meaning of the defined term.

Organization:  The document is neatly spaced, clean, and focused.

  • Good use of bolding to highlight the type of definition.
  • The expanded definition section identifies 3 of the 4 expansion strategies employed.
    • Negation
    • What does an arterial road look like?How/when is it used?
    • How does an arterial road differ from a local road?
  • Specifying the expansion strategy for the first expansion would create uniformity.
    • Operating Principle might be an appropriate selection for the first expansion.

Introduction: 

  • The introduction is polite with a friendly tone, encouraging readers to continue learning.
  • Slight confusion arose concerning the word society, in the last sentence of the section. Considering the context of the definition to be the field of urban planning, a term drawing attention to geographical aspect of the subject might provide clarification to the reader. The term community, might encompass both characteristics of the term.
  • The audience is well defined, explaining the reader’s interests and field of study.
  • Since the instructions for this assignment included defining a reading situation, adding scenario might strengthen this section. For example, where, or under what circumstances, would the audience read this definition.

Definitions:

  • The definitions are distinct and conform with distinguishing features explained in the textbook.
  • The tone is professional, with the correct amount of detail.
  • last paragraph of the text, in which the difference between an arterial road and a local road was described, summed up the explanation nicely, leaving the reader with a clear reference point.

Visuals: The selected image of an arterial road is a good representation, however:

  • labels indicating street names and land marks referred to in the explanation are quite small.
  • adding supplementary labels to the existing image would clarify details
  • enlarging the image or using one with higher resolution would make it more readable.

Grammar/Typos: Good attention to detail and editing. The text is grammatically correct and lacks typos. The following suggestions to improve conciseness are recommended:

  • The last sentence of the introduction: My goal in this exercise is to provide knowledge of a word in a different light and to educate those pursuing interest in urbanization and the variety of ways to build up a society.
    • My goal for this exercise is to introduce a word, in a different light, and to educate those interested in urbanization and the various ways to develop a community.
  • In the first sentence of the sentence definition: An arterial is an urban road or throughway with a primary goal …
    • An arterial is an urban road or throughway with the primary goal …
  • The last sentence of the first expansion: They can also connect commuters from the streets of their homes and cities to large expressways.
    • They can also connect commuters from their neighbourhoods to large expressways.
  •  The term at-grade was used in the second expansion: Negation.
    • Is this an example of profession jargon? Additional clarification of this word would be helpful to the reader.

Works Cited: Correct use of APA referencing style was used.

Concluding Comments: The document provides the reader with a thorough understanding of the term arterial. With the following small adjustments, this document will be even stronger:

  • including a reading scenario in the introduction
  • specifying the expansion strategy employed in the first expansion.
  • rephrasing some sentences to improve conciseness and clarity
  • adjusting the image with additional labels and higher resolution

It has been a pleasure reviewing this document. I hope that the recommendations are helpful in completing this project. Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Thank you.

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FORMAL REPORT PROPOSAL

The report proposal was the first step in creating a major document. A formal report investigating, analyzing, and recommending action on a problem in a familiar setting would be worked on throughout the semester. This assignment developed troubleshooting and organizational skills. Careful planning and assessment was required to ensure that the topic selected was appropriate and sufficient.

To:             Dr. Erika Paterson                                                                                                                                From:       Christina Hruby                                                                                                                              Date:        June 19, 2020                                                                                                                                Subject:  Proposal for reducing gathering in common areas at Clinique Parodontologie CTH

Introduction

Since March 2020, the Covid-19 pandemic has resulted in social distancing measures and restrictions on public gatherings. The provincial government of Quebec instructed dental offices to close on March 16, 2020 as part of a general closure of all non-essential businesses. As of June 1, 2020, dental clinics have been permitted to re-open under the condition that protective measures, established by the Ordre of Dentists’ of Quebec, are strictly followed.

In order to continue practicing and avoid fines of $6000 or more, dental offices must provide appropriate personal protective equipment for staff, install plexiglass barriers at reception desks, acquire air exchangers for all operatories, screen and provide masks for all visitors, and reduce gathering in order to maintain a distance of two metres between all individuals.

Statement of Problem

Clinique Parodontologie CTH, a large dental practice with twelve operatories, serves an average of one hundred and fifty patients per day. Patients, who are sedated for surgeries, are accompanied by chaperones who wait while procedures are performed. As a result, a high volume of visitors is overwhelming the waiting room and corridors of the clinic. With a staff of over thirty employees, the lunchroom is also unable to provide acceptable personal distancing as ordered by the provincial government and dental regulatory associations.  Staff members are forced to leave the building for lunch, which will be impractical on rainy days and during the winter months. Inadvertent gathering is becoming a problem.

Proposed Solution

Potential solutions to the gathering issues at Clinique Parodontologie CTH include:

  • adjusting the schedule to alleviate waiting times
  • staggering starting times to offset simultaneous arrivals and departures
  • altered lunch hours to reduce midday crowding
  • creating a one-way direction in hall ways to avoid the crossing of paths
  • obtaining administrative approval for the use of the rear door as a second entrance and the lobby as a second waiting room.

It is my intention to provide a solution that will sustain the patient turnover rate without noticeably affecting profitability.

Scope

To identify the sources of problematic gathering and the feasibility of the proposed solutions I plan to pursue seven areas of inquiry:

  • During what times of the day is gathering an issue in the waiting room?
  • Approximately how many patients arrive with a chaperone per day?
  • How long are chaperones waiting for patients?
  • Will the altering of office hours be amenable to all employees?
  • Will the use of the rear door or the lobby violate building regulations?
  • What are the costs for signage in corridors indicating direction of foot-traffic?
  • What other issues are contributing to waiting times for patients?

Methods

My primary source of data will be surveys, that will be completed by receptionists, to identify specific times when the waiting room capacity is surpassed, the number of chaperones visiting the clinic, as well as average wait times. I also plan on conducting interviews that with various staff members at Clinique Parodontologie CTH, specifically: receptionists, dental assistants, and dental hygienists. The goal of the interviews is to obtain more detailed information about gathering issues and insight into other possible solutions.

My Qualifications

More than twenty years of work experience in the dental field in the positions of receptionist, assistant, and hygienist has provided me with extensive understanding of scheduling issues. Since I am currently an employee at Clinique Parodontologie CTH, I have a unique opportunity to implement and evaluate proposed solutions on an ongoing basis. I also maintain excellent working relationships with my colleagues and expect candid information and feedback from data collection methods.

Conclusion

Clearly, immediate action is required to reduce unauthorized gathering in common areas of Clinique Parodontologie CTH. If social distancing regulations are not upheld, fines or forced closure may occur. By addressing the areas of inquiry listed earlier, I can identify the contributing factors and determine the feasibility of my proposed solutions. With your approval I will begin research at once.

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PROGRESS REPORT

The progress report assignment asked students to get to know their audience. Identifying the background knowledge, priorities, and decision making capacities of the formal report audience guides a writer in producing relevant and worthwhile documents. This assignment taught students to recognize the motivations and interests of an audience and the importance of time management. Good research methods were studied and applied to survey and interview development.

MEMORANDUM

To:                Dr. Erika Paterson, Professor English Technical Writing UBC                                          From:          Christina Hruby, Student English Technical Writing UBC                                            Date:           July 7, 2020                                                                                                                              Subject:    Progress Report

 

Investigation into the matter of gathering in public areas of Clinique Parodontologie CTH has commenced. As request in Unit 2:3, a progress report detailing the key factors and the advancement of the project is listed below. Any advice concerning the management of the inquiry would be appreciated.

Audience: The formal report will be presented to clinic administrators and stakeholders who possess decision making powers. Their needs include compliance with current provincial and professional association mandates, continued profitability, provision of a secure working environment for staff, maintenance of public safety. Specific audience members include:

  • Dr. Cartier, Founder and Practicing Partner
  • Dr. Talon, Practicing Partner
  • Dr. Hamel, Practicing Partner
  • Mme. LaJoie, Administrative Director

Purpose: The objective of the report is to inform the audience that social distancing of staff and visitors is becoming problematic in public areas of the clinic, to identify the sources of the congestion, and to propose solutions that will eliminate gathering.

Significance: Investigation into these matters is of the utmost importance to maintain health and safety of staff and visitors, and to avoid fines or closure of the premises by the dental regulatory association.

Research Plan:

  • Distribute surveys to staff members at the clinic (survey enclosed)
  • Install suggestion box for staff members in lunchroom
  • Interview staff members to identify congested areas and times (interview questions enclosed)
  • Meet with building administration regarding approval for secondary waiting room and rear entrance to clinic
  • Evaluate acceptance of proposed changes by fellow tenants
  • Visit nearby businesses to determine capability of host waiting chaperones
  • Determine cost of printing signage and information pamphets
  • Study dental office protocols mandated by the Ordre des Dentistes du Quebec (enclosed)

Writing Schedule:

  • Compose surveys and interview questions- done
  • Install suggestion box- done
  • Schedule meeting with building administration- done
  • Tenant meeting- July 10, 2020
  • Budget- approval obtained for $400
  • Distribute surveys and complete interviews- July 17, 2020
  • Analyse data from surveys, interviews, suggestion box- July 20, 2020
  • Compile list of local businesses ready/willing to accommodate chaperones- done
  • Present recommendations to audience- July 24, 2020

Thank you for reviewing the progress of this project. I look forward to your feedback.

Enclosures:

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FORMAL REPORT

To view a copy of the formal report referred to in the report proposal and progress report, please open the document attached below. I prepared this inquiry in response to social distancing problems at a dental clinic during the Covid-19 pandemic. The report assesses the causative factors of gathering in public areas and proposes feasible solutions.

Formal Report-C.Hruby-Aug 11,2020

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BUSINESS LETTERS

The reader of a document should be the writer’s priority. Reader-centered writing considers the point of view, ego, and motivations of its audience. This assignment emphasized the importance of maintaining a positive attitude and respectful tone when making requests and delivering bad news.

LETTER OF COMPLAINT

                                                                             XYZ Dental Clinic                                                                                                                                                  5978 St. George Blvd                                                                             Montreal, QC, H9J 3Y8

                  Fax (514) 630-7539 Phone (514) 630-7549 Email chruby@xyz.com 

May 20, 2020

Customer Service Department                                                                                                          Dentstock Dental Supplies                                                                                                                              237 Cote Tervu Blvd                                                                                                                                Montreal, QC, V87 3F8

Attention: Ms. Diane Belval

Your company has an established reputation as a reliable wholesaler of dental supplies. For 27 years we have counted on that reliability, but a recent delays and billing errors have left us frustrated and disappointed.

On March 3rd, we ordered 10 boxes of N95 EverSafe Masks (#A65-974). A delivery date of March 9 was indicated on the order confirmation (reference # 507-9987).

On March 9th, the order arrived. Instead of N95 masks, we received 10 boxes of level 3 EverSafe Surgical Masks. We immediately notified our territory sales representative, Mr. Michel Duval, of the mistake and of the urgent nature of the order. He promised delivery of the correct order by March 12th.

On March 20th, 10 boxes of level 3 EverSafe surgical masks were delivered to our clinic again. The order was not accepted. The Dentsply delivery agent apologized for the error and left all 20 boxes of levels 3 masks (ref # DDS 298).  Our account has been charged for 20 boxes of level 3 surgical masks and 10 boxes of N95 masks, but we have still not received the N95 masks.

In light of the Covid-19 pandemic, the Ordres des Dentistes du Quebec has made the use of N95 masks mandatory for all dental procedures that create aerosols. We require the N95 masks to continue practicing and have been waiting for the order for more than three months.

We insist that our account be credited for the level 3 masks that we returned unopened on March 20th. Although we understand the challenges regarding the shortage for N95 masks, we insist that at least 5 boxes of N95 masks be delivered to our clinic by June 1st. We expect the remaining 5 boxes to be delivered no later than June 29th. We also request that going forward, we be advised if shipment delays are anticipated.

Until this issue, our transactions with Dentstock have been excellent. We hope that they can be again.

Yours truly,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Christina Hruby, RDH                                                                                                                                  Procurement, XYZ Dental Clinic

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RESPONSE LETTER

DENTSTOCK DENTAL SUPPLIES, INC.                                                                                                    237 Cote Tervu Blvd                                                                                                                          Montreal, QC, V87 3F8

May 22, 2020

Christina Hruby, XYZ Dental Clinic                                                                                                              5978 St. George Blvd                                                                                                                              Montreal, QC, H9J 3Y8

Dear Ms. Hruby:

Thank you for bringing the matter of the shipping errors and the N95 masks to my attention. I am pleased to hear that your clinic will be reopening shortly. The Covid-19 pandemic has made demands on the dental field and changed the way dentistry will be practiced for the unforeseeable future. Your efforts to meet these challenges and provide health services to the public during these unprecedented times are commendable.

Naturally, I understand your need for the N95 masks and your frustration with receiving incorrect merchandise. Your account has been credited for the 20 boxes of level 3 surgical EverSafe masks and I do apologize for the mix up. Unfortunately, the N95 mask manufacturer is located abroad and due to the current restrictions on travel, your order cannot be filled by June 1st.

As an alternative, we can offer you 40 boxes of KN95 masks to be delivered by May 27th. As you know, the KN95 masks meet Covid-19 aerosol requirements, but they are not reusable like the N95s. This is of course not as cost effective as using the N95 masks, but it will allow you to keep your staff safe and to open your doors to customers.

We do appreciate your loyal service and your understanding. As soon as Dentstock is able to resume international importation, we will provide the N95 masks as promised in March. Should you require any other Covid-19 related equipment, please do not hesitate to contact us. We have Canadian suppliers for visors, air exchangers, evacuation system detergents, and hand sanitizers, who can guarantee timely delivery.

Sincerely,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Diane Belval

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PEER REVIEW OF FORMAL REPORT

Upon completion of the 12 to 15 page formal report, students were instructed to create a revision template and apply it to a fellow classmate’s document. Since YOU attitude  foundations were solidified in the previous unit, peer reviews became more focused on the reader’s needs. Attention to eliminating pronouns resulted in more concise texts and diplomatic correction.

TO:                     XXXX, English 301 Student Writer                                                                              FROM:              Christina Hruby, English 301 Student Reviewer                                                      DATE:                August 4, 2020                                                                                                                      SUBJECT:       Review of  Formal Report- Improving Nightlife, Event, and Party Culture                                        Practices on UBC’s Point Grey Campus

Thank you for submitting the formal report: Improving Nightlife, Event, and Party Culture Practices on UBC’s Point Grey Campus. It was an informative and enjoyable read. Strengths of the report include proper researching techniques, attractive visuals, correct formatting, and completeness of all aspects of the assignment. Revision of the layout to improve readability and filtering the content to reduce the length of the document would improve the final draft. Please consider the following feedback during revision:

First Impressions: The subject matter for this inquiry is well researched and thoroughly analysed, contributing to a detailed report. All core elements of the assignment are present as well as several figures displaying survey responses. The writing conveys that the author is confident and well-versed on the topic.

Organization:

  • Table of Contents is accurate and topics are well divided.
  • There is a logical flow to the explanation, analysis, and conclusion of the report.
  • Formatting of page numbering conforms to rules described in the textbook.
  • Some long paragraphs exist within the document. Using bullet points and incorporating white space will make the report more readable.

Content: The report contains extensive valuable information and currently contains 21 pages. Instructions for the assignment stipulated developing a document approximately 12 to 15 pages in length. Selecting the most important facts and figures, may assist in filtering out secondary information that is less essential to the focus of the investigation. Perhaps the following feedback on each section of the report will facilitate the process.

  1. Introduction:
    • Interesting anecdotal information engages the audience. Well done.
    • The intention of the introduction is to provide briefly background for the situation. To remain focused try:
      • Eliminating some information that the audience may already be aware.
      • Narrowing the key points to highlight the most essential factors at play.
    • Presenting the following information, in list form, will simplify comprehension:
      • relevant training topics
      • campus establishments frequented by students
      • points to be outlined in the report
    • Using the following steps to guide the structure of the introduction may help with streamlining:
      1. Identifying the topic’s origin and significance
      2. Describing the problem
      3. Defining the report’s purpose
  2. Methods:
    • Good description of research methods.
    • Collecting data from diverse range of subjects eliminates bias which shows strong understanding of proper research techniques.
    • Referencing the page of the document, possibly in the appendix, where a copy of the surveys are located would add precision to the section.
  3. Data Section:     
    • Thorough description of demographics was provided; however, using is a table to record frequencies or a graph to represent relationships between factors lets the diagram to do the talking. Then, text can be reserved for:
      • highlighting the noteworthy findings.
      • interpreting the data for the reader.
    • An impartial analysis including the limitations of the data shows honesty, which is appreciated by the reader.
    • Since several tables and figures were created or the report, situating them directly in the data section eliminates the need for the reader to flip back and forth between pages. The table or figure could then be followed immediately by the findings of consequence and the interpretation, keeping the reader on track.
  4. Conclusion: The conclusion is succinct.
    • Summary of Findings: describes the problem in a brief yet precise manner.
    • Interpretation of Findings: translates the raw data and identifies the shortcomings of student safety on campus.
    • Recommendations: are insightful, reasonable, address abroad range of possibilities, and seem achievable.

Visuals/Figures:

  • The tables and charts are colourful and attractive, grabbing the attention of the reader.
  • Labeling all axes, including a title, and indicating the units of the factors will help the reader understand the data.
  • Identifying the number of responses that the proportions are based on is a nice touch.
  • Increasing line spacing and using uniform font size will allow for easy reading.

References: Correct and complete referencing style was used. Good attention to detail.

Style/Tone:

  • The document used an even and friendly tone.
  • The appropriate “you” attitude was employed.
  • The tone was never negative, even when identifying shortcomings.

Grammar/Typos: The document was well edited for typos and grammatical errors; however, there word count of some sentences could be reduced for conciseness. Here are some examples and possible alternatives:

  • Nightlife practices carried out by campus groups have the capacity to improve immensely by providing the students within them the appropriate training and giving them access to the applicable resources.
    • Providing members of campus groups with training and access to resources, can improve student nightlife practices.
  • When asked what their thoughts are on implementing mandatory training on sexual violence prevention in order to host events on campus, hosts are in favour.
    • Hosts are in favour of implementing manditory sexual violence prevention training for campus events.
  • With students hailing from all corners of the world, the university attempts to hold a place for everyone with over 350+ student clubs within the Alma Mater Society (AMS) and many other established student groups across campus.
    • Over 350 Alma Mater Society and established campus groups welcome local and international students.

Concluding  Statements: This report thoroughly investigates important student issues and deserves the attention of its readers. With the following small adjustments, the document will be even stronger:

  • Streamlining the content to remain within the range of recommended length.
  • Increasing readability by incorporating white space, bullet points, and lists.
  • Relocating some tables and figures to the data section for quick reference.
  • Including titles, labeling axes, and indicating units on figures and tables.
  • Reducing the word count of some sentences to increase clarity.

It was a pleasure reviewing this report. I hope the suggestions are helpful in completing the assignment. Please let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Thank you.

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PEER REVIEW OF APPLICATION PACKAGE

Constructing résumés, cover letters, and requests for letters of reference put student’s editing skills to the test in this highly beneficial assignment. Insight, attention to detail, and succinct writing were the goal for this assignment. Peer review tested our detection of errors and perception of constructive advice.

TO:                 XXXX, English 301 Student Writer                                                                                  FROM:           Christina Hruby, English 301 Student Reviewer                                                                  DATE:             August 10, 2020                                                                                                                                SUBJECT:     Review of  Application Package

Dear Esteban,

I hope this email finds you well and that you are advancing towards the assignment deadlines at a comfortable pace. Thank you for submitting the application package. It was an enjoyable read. Strengths of the document include good organization of information, attractive layout, extensive detail, and the presentation of a wide range of skills and experience. Revision of sentence structure, verification of tone for professional requests, and attention to content requirements would improve the final draft.  Please consider the following feedback during revision:

First Impressions: The package is well developed. A vast list of experience provides the reader with a substantial feel for the applicant’s capabilities. Details included for each project and experience showcase the writer’s insight and precision.

Organization:

  • Each document of the package is clearly introduced.
  • A brief background orients the reader effectively.
  • Sections are well labeled and neatly organized.

Content:

  1. Job Advertisement:
    • Suitable posting selected. Good match to applicant’s expertise.
    • Appropriate MLA referencing included.
  2. Résumé:
    • Skills: Situating this section at the top of the résumé draws attention to the fact that the applicant meets the requirements of the position. Excellent starting point.
    • Personal Projects:
      • Avoiding the use of pronouns in the résumé is recommended to maintain a professional tone.
        • Example: 2D ‘Deep Sea’ Arcade Shooter section: Consolidated my understanding of OOP principles…
      • Highlighting that the applicant pursues projects in the field of computer development during personal time shows passion for the industry and self-motivation.
    • Academic Projects: Substantial detail provided explaining how query engine and database system are used. Defining whether the projects were to create or modify existing system may demonstrate range of abilities.
    • Work Experience:
      • Important skills such as communication and decisiveness are advantageously highlighted in McDonald’s position.
      • The abbreviation CS accompanies the teaching assistant position. If CS is an abbreviation for computer science, writing it in the longer form may draw more attention to the pertinence of the position.
      • Listing leadership, organization, and problem-solving as competencies refined in the teaching assistant position could notify employers of the applicants potential for advancement.
    • Education:
      • An impressive list of accomplishments.
      • Including the name of university where applicant is studying provides additional information to employers.
    • Missing Elements:
      • Objective
      • References
  3. Requests for Letters of Reference:
    • Requesting the reader’s permission to be listed as a reference may cause confusion resulting in the reader simply waiting to be contacted by a human resources agent. Specifically requesting that the reader write a letter of reference, will clarify the need to produce a document.
    • Attaching a copy of the résumé to the email is helpful to the writer of the reference letter. It will refresh the writer’s memory regarding important dates and provide additional background information.
    • Requesting a completion date for the letter of reference will ensure that the applicant receives the document on time.
    • Specifying the address where the reference letter should be sent will avoid unfortunate mix-ups.

Layout/Visual:

  • Good use of bolding and underlining in résumé to emphasize sections and topics.
  • Bullets organize lists of details neatly.
  • Applying consistent use of either capital or minuscule lettering will add uniformity. For example:
    • Skills section: Technologies/frameworks.
  • Including an objective and a references section complies with résumé template instructions.
  • Correct formatting style for functional résumé is applied.

Tone: The email messages are very casual, implying that the writer and reader have a relationship that is based on friendship as well as employment. If readers of the email requests hold supervisory positions, a slightly more professional tone may be required to express esteem. The cover letter has a friendly tone. Although the use of the pronoun “I” is acceptable in a cover letter, reducing the frequency of its application, especially at the beginning of a sentence, will add variety to the sentence structure, reduce the word count, and add a professional tone. The following are some examples and suggested alterations:

  • I have since been able to enrich myself with a variety of experiences throughout my university courses and work as a software engineering teaching assistant, but also as a passionate self-learner and programming hobbyist
    • University course work, position as software engineer teaching assistant, programming hobbyisme, and a passion for self learning have enriched my expertise in the field.
  • I have had a multitude of opportunities to exercise my abilities in SQL, C, C++, Java, and TypeScript/ JavaScript, as well as the communication skills required to collaborate effectively in a team environment, as most assignments and projects are partner or group based.
    • Frequently making use of SQL, C, C++, Java, and TypeScript/JavaScript abilities and communication skills, I provide support and collaborate effectively in team environments.

Grammar/Typos:

  • Both present and past tense are used in the body of the résumé. Although phrasing in one tense can sometimes be tricky, it brings uniformity to the document. For example:
    •  Although a lot of the work is manual and quickly becomes second nature, clear and efficient communication was always a necessity, as I worked in the kitchen with 2-3 other coworkers, and we all heavily relied on each other’s actions.
  • Editing for a few minor punctuation errors will bring polish to the document. The following is an example in which a colon was used instead of a period at the end of the first sentence:
    • I have developed a variety of personal projects: Last summer I implemented a responsive, full stack Node.js/Express web app that runs web scrapers to gather rental listings from various popular rent websites in Vancouver based on user query.
  • Although bullet points allow for efficient listing of information, some phrases in the résumé are complete sentences requiring a period. The Rent Scraper Web App section is an example:
    • Developed a full-stack web app that uses multiple asynchronous web scrapers to gather Vancouver rental listings from popular websites for searching with customer user filters, in a single interface (period omitted)
  • Using shorter sentences can emphasize important points more effectively and deliver concise messages to the reader. For example:
    • I have also worked as a computer science teaching assistant, and this is yet another job that tested my communication skills,
      although from a different angle – I had to analyze and discuss issues that students had with software construction/ OOP, dissect their bugs, lead labs, or assist lectures on a daily basis.

      • Suggestion: Working as a computer science teaching assistant tested my communication skills in a different manner. This position required lecturing, laboratory demonstrations, and troubleshooting discussions related to software construction/OOP and bug dissection.
  • Typically, a space following a slash is only inserted when breaking up lines of a poem/song/play or to separate multi-word terms. Revising the text to remove the spaces would comply with typographical common practice.

Concluding Comments: The application package is an impressive document. The applicant is presented competently and professionally, emphasizing accomplishments that are pertinent to the job posting. With the following small adjustments, the application package will be even stronger:

  • Including an objective and a references section to the résumé.
  • Editing for minor punctuation and typographical errors.
  • Adjusting of sentence structure to reduce word count and increase clarity.
  • Revising text to ensure uniformity of tense (past or present) and reduce use of pronouns.

It was a pleasure reviewing this document. I hope the suggestions are helpful in completing the assignment. Please let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Thank you.