“After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.” – Philip Pullman
I AM HERE…
As a Canadian-born Chinese having lived in the Vancouver Lower Mainland for almost the entirety of my childhood, I am very conscious of how culture and place have both played a part in shaping the person I am today. My direct and extended family helped build the foundation of my value system, while my environment helped shape it into something I could call my own. Compared to my younger self, I have a better understanding of the struggles my parents went through in order to be here today. I am ever grateful for their love and kindness, even in their subtlest forms.
A PLACE WHERE I HAVE GROWN.
Person and place are as inseparable as water and life. What I mean is that the experiences I have accumulated over time by being in a certain place at a certain time have led me to those serendipitous events that have made me who I am. I had the opportunity to test my determination and perseverance through two of the hardest summers I had ever known selling books door-to-door (photo: right). I faced my long-persisting fear of public speaking, and unknowingly fell in love with spoken word (photo: center). I was able to have the most fun and culturally diverse summer right here at home, working as a counselor at an international summer camp (photo: left). In no other part of the world could this have all happened had I not been here in Vancouver.
I HAVE TRAVELED…
Growing up I was fairly shy and quiet; but my hidden passion and dream as a child was to adventure to far away lands. I understand that not everyone wants to travel, and that many people are comfortable living in one place their whole lives. However, I strongly believe that there is something good to be gained from being well-traveled. There is something intangible and long-lasting when one is immersed in a culture not native to their own. Culture shock is another way of learning how to see things in a different light. I got to experience this part way through my post-secondary education by going on exchange to Norway. I fell in love with the Norwegian landscape and culture; met some of the most interesting, kind, intelligent and caring people; and appreciated both the solace and companionship I experienced during this time away from home. I realized too, that home was (and continues to be) a point of return for me.
TO FAR OFF LANDS UNKNOWN.
I have always been deeply interested in my roots; as a child of immigrant parents I have often faced cultural division between my place and my past. “Who am I?” turned into a question of “Where do I belong?” Going back to the place my parents, grandparents and relatives grew up gave me perspective on not only who they were but also where I fit in their shared histories as well. Although I would not identify myself more with Chinese culture than Canadian culture, it is something I am intrinsically tied to: genetically, ethically, socially and emotionally.
I HAVE LEARNED THE VALUE…
When I had first started to accumulate all these unique experiences from travelling and working in places far off and near, I realized I had stories to share but no audience to listen. Years of watching TED Talks had not actually made me any better of an orator, and I struggled with the awkwardness of articulating my experience into spoken words. Masterful storytellers seem to weave together ideas into sentences as easily as they breathe air; I envied them and wondered how I would ever be able to tell a story that well. Eventually, with the help of a fellow colleague and friend, I joined Walter Gage Toastmasters to have a go at public speaking. Before this, even simple class presentations had me hyperventilating. My first attempt at delivering a speech had my heart ready to rip out of my chest. My second was not so bad. My third speech was even fun. Before I realized it, I no longer felt anxious when speaking up in class; impromptu speaking at Toastmasters was a hundred times more terrifying (and exhilarating)! I loved storytelling; but what I loved even more was seeing the growth of my fellow club members (and friends). I stayed for four years, serving in several executive positions. My shy and quiet self was learning how to be a leader through this experience; not because I am inherently good at leading others, but because of the support of my fellow peers who were able to see the strengths that I couldn’t see for myself.
OF NOT BEING ALONE.
When I was in school, I worked best alone. Not necessarily because I was anti-social, but because I thought I could get more done and do better independently. Through some bad experiences, I somehow justified the burden of group work and consequently shifted my mentality to someone who was self-serving rather than trying to learn cooperatively. It wasn’t until I started university that I began to see and feel the value of building a community around me. John Donne once said, “No man is an island.” We are hardwired, in every aspect of our lives, to feel connected to other human beings. Anomalies are few. I have been fortunate enough to have had a great deal of family support much of my life; however, even family life is a very singular way of viewing the world. Jess Scott says that “friends are the family you choose”. The act and art of forming friendships has taught me so much about myself; I strongly believe that the people I meet and interact with become a part of who I am.
I AM LEARNING…
Entering the teacher education program was an accumulation of all my past experiences: moving through different schools, working with children, failing at my summer job, learning how to work hard and persevere, questioning my parents’ choices, questioning my own choices, going far away, appreciating the return home, regretting the words unsaid, moving on, learning how to tell a story, and more. I had always thought of being an educator as a child, but did not know enough about myself to pursue something my parents did not agree with. Eventually, through some growing pains and learned autonomy, I was able to justify that I was worthy and capable of pursuing teaching as a profession. I thought I was trying to justify my decision to my parents; but in actuality, the only person I really needed to justify this to was myself.
TO BE SOMEONE WHO GIVES HOPE.
I have learned a great deal through this program; through the instructors I connected with, but mainly through my peers. I am grateful for everyone I had the chance to encounter and exchange thoughts with during this program. I am extremely grateful for those who helped me form my place and own community in a program comprised of hundreds of students. I am thankful for having had the opportunity to investigate, collaborate, debate and create alongside some of the most innovative and open-minded people I have had the pleasure of meeting. I was (and still am) inspired by many of them. I also appreciated all the honest and (at times) candid opinions and ideas stated by those few who dared to speak out of turn; their words have probably opened up my mind the most.
I hope my students too will find their own ways to “inquire, imagine, and inspire”. Hope is more than wishing; it is an intrinsic desire for things to happen a certain way; it gives direction when people need it most; it is why we care about our children and the future they carry. As a new teacher, I hope to be able to instill all that has been given to me to my students. I hope I can be a person who gives hope to others.
-Ms. Chan