Some days… it feels like everything is going right and progress is found in each coaching session. The athlete is hungry to learn, they are progressing, we are discovering new, better methods for skills training. The struggle is paying off. In these times, ‘a-ha’ moments are occurring in rapid-fire. I live for these times. I love working with the athlete to search out and find the missing element, to fill the gap between good and great.
Most of the time I work directly with the athlete, but what about the times I need to step back, to give the athlete time to struggle, to self-discover and the ‘just do it’. These are the times I hate. In these times I am not able to contribute, I am not in control, not even a bit. I am forced to watch and wait for the next time I am needed. In the progression these times happen in semi-regular intervals. However, I know the next problem and the next hurdle to overcome is around the next corner. Once the athlete can consolidate and cement the new lesson or ability, we will need to move on to the next. However, in these times where I am forced to step back I am still uneasy.
I know it is the athlete who is in the game, on the start line, in the gym and on the podium but when I am contributing it is like I am in the game too. When I am not, the result and process both are out of my hands. I feel helpless.
Trust is a big word and a important word. Is it that I don’t trust the athlete to do what they need to do on their own. I do trust them, so why is it that I get so anxious while I can’t have my hand or voice in the game in one way or another. The goal of the coach is after all to develop the athlete to the point they no longer need you and they can move forward on their own.
The we have done a great job the coach may become more of a spectator who waits longer and longer between being needed. Eventually perhaps, if all goes well the coach becomes a full time spectator as the athlete performs the magic on the field of play.
Perhaps I don’t want to be a spectator. I want to be a coach. I don’t want to celebrate this great and final coaching success, the success of no longer being needed! I want to struggle in the trenches; I want to solve problems; I want to teach each day and revel in each discovery.
How I do I celebrate letting go of the process I love. This is the paradox of coaching success.