It was a warm day as I watched the paddlers split the water and glide their boats along the surface. We are nearing the end of the season and have put in a good month of training. All indicators say the team is progressing well.
Yet, not everyone is on top of their game, I know there are ups and downs for everyone. However, it is clear some are frustrated and not progressing as they should.
This is normal and following valleys come peaks. So, why do I wake up at night, worried about them, thinking what I can do differently? I have been thinking this as I slept and now my eyes are open staring at the ceiling. What can I do? What can I change? I hate to see these few struggle, and it consumes me.
Is this not what a good coach should be doing? In fact, when I organize my coaching structure, I design so that “each athlete knows what coach will be losing sleep over her or him”. I use this exact language. Granted, it does not sound psychologically healthy to be losing sleep, but I take some personal pride that I care enough for it to happen. What would it say about me if I didn’t lose sleep over the athletes I am responsible for?
In ‘most’ cases the outcomes match the actions and the investments of the athletes. If they’re not progressing, it’s often easy to link performance to the training approach and the quality of their commitment. In short, the ones who are most dedicated are rarely the ones that I lose sleep over.
But wait… wouldn’t it be better to be occupied with finding ways to help those who are putting in all the extra effort and are fully committed? They are the ones who set themselves apart from the group. They are the ones working hardest. Should I not be working hardest for those working hardest for themselves? See here a collection of post-it reminders from one such athlete.
I believe I should, yet my thoughts are consumed with the ones that are falling through the cracks or are struggling. The ones who often just are not as committed as the others. I wonder, how can I help them? What can I do differently? What should I say and how can I change the program? The very program that is working well for those who have invested the most.
OK, no… I need to catch myself here, I know better. At least I think I do.
It doesn’t work when I want it more than the athlete. It is ultimately up to them what they will get out of the opportunities I work to provide. It is not my decision to make, it is theirs and, ultimately, the athlete will determine how much attention and coaching he or she receives.
Consciously I am good with this approach, and although I would never want to ignore anyone in training, I never neglect those that are most invested. This may appear to some as having favourites and some think everyone should get equal attention and treatment, but equal is not fair and not appropriate either. The athlete who wants it the most and is the most dedicated should receive coaching that reflects this. The greater the investment, the greater the return.
So, I have a position and am good with it. I cannot have everyone on my mind equally, nor do I believe I should. However, as I close my eyes at night, it is easiest to not worry about those doing well and focus fill my mind with those that ‘need it’ most. Of course, need and deserve are not the same, and the people who deserve my thoughts the most should have them, but when the lights go out all the logic leaves with it. The phrase, ‘leave no man behind’ comes to mind.
This is a constant battle…. I want to work with those that deserve it most and help them maximize all the effort they put in. I want to help those struggling. Who should I lose sleep over?
I know a coach that spends the vast majority of his time with the people who have shown they are ready or deserving of it. He only has so much of himself to offer and gives to those who have worked the hardest and earned it. His position and actions in training make his strategy in this regard clear.
On the water, he follows beside the lead group in his coach boat. These are the ones working the hardest and have put in the time and effort to get to the lead. These are the ones that deserve his attention most and he makes sure they get what they deserved.
For the rest of the paddlers, they need to work their way up to this group, battling to catch the faster group and pushing their limits. They need to paddle in the choppy water left in the wake of the lead paddlers and even the coach boat itself if they are to earn some of this coaching attention. By this time, they have learned the lesson of hard work and desire and find the coach waiting and eager to help.
His approach may sound harsh but consider the alternative. If the coach positioned himself next to the slower members of the group to give them some extra instruction and encouragement it would help them advance. Surely this sounds good, and the rookie paddlers certainly could use the help. However, this leaves the others, those that have put in more training and effort than the rest, without the coaching attention. Surely they have earned the attention of the coach and the coach knows they have the desire.
So beside the leaders, he travels barking out instructions as they push themselves to improve. His philosophy results in a very clear culture of hard work and a population of athletes that know they must own their progression. They know the coach is waiting if they can muster the effort required and can motivate themselves to fight their way up and catch his eye.
I often wonder about this coach and if he wakes in the middle of the night thinking about his paddlers. If he does is it his best or his struggling athletes that fill his thoughts. Is he like me or is his philosophy clear even as he dreams. Does he struggle with the through of those fighting to climb the ranks to where he does his work?
For me, I feel guilty not spending more time dreaming of ways to help the hardest workers in my group. In practice, I make sure they get my full attention but it seems the others occupy my thoughts at night. Maybe this is how it should be yet, I am still not sure who I would prefer to lose sleep over. Perhaps it would be best to have my dreams to myself and sleep through the night, but I don’t know if it is in my nature. In any case, tonight I won’t be surprised to stare into the darkness and ponder those that have not yet made ‘the decision’ or simply are not ‘yet thriving’. In fact, as I prepare for sleep already my mind is there.